To say the public was unenthused by the idea of President Donald Trump visiting Britain would be an understatement. Nearly two million people signed a petition against it and campaigners said they’d stage the largest anti-racism protest in British history in response.
Well, Trump seems to have heeded our complaints and gotten scared, reportedly telling Theresa May over the phone that he doesn’t want to come to Britain if there will be large-scale protests against him, TheGuardian reported.
A Downing Street adviser, who was in the room when Trump called the prime minister in recent weeks, said the US president wanted to put the state visit on hold until the British public supports it. May was apparently surprised by his position. This means he probably won’t be coming for a pretty long time.
The reports come less than a week after Trump’s very public spat with London Mayor Sadiq Khan following the London Bridge terror attack, which culminated in Khan calling for the president’s state visit to be cancelled. Trump had criticised Khan’s response to the attack by misquoting the London mayor on Twitter.
Trump’s own acting ambassador to Britain, Lewis Lukens, then sided with Khan, saying he commended the London mayor's “strong leadership”, which didn't go down well with Trump supporters.
Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn has welcomed the reports of Trump's decision to pull out of the visit, saying on Twitter it was the right decision in light of "[Trump's] attack on London's mayor" and his withdrawal from the Paris Climate Agreement.
Cancellation of President Trump's State Visit is welcome, especially after his attack on London's mayor & withdrawal from #ParisClimateDeal.
US administration officials denied that Trump was waiting for support from the British public, however. Instead, he simply "does not feel like" visiting, they told the BBC.
Downing Street said it wouldn't "comment on speculation about the contents of private phone conversations" but said there had been "no change" to his planned trip. "The Queen extended an invitation to President Trump to visit the UK and there is no change to those plans," a spokesman said.
Needless to say, the news of the cancellation went down well with many Brits, including MPs, on Twitter.
How about never Donald? Never is good for me. We will march, we will protest and we will say not in our name. ✊️https://t.co/ahLO3NyP3o
Remember Wife Swap? The concept was simple: make the matriarchs of two very different families trade places for a week and let chaos ensue. Most of the time, viewers could expect temper tantrums from the kids and fiery flare-ups between the new spouses.
Well, would you believe it – the legendary reality show is returning for the first time in eight years with a one-off Brexit special on Thursday 15th June, the Radio Times reported.
The hour-long episode features two couples from each side of the Brexit debate, with vastly different views on immigration, class and racism.
In the Remain camp is Kat Boettge, a Green Party councillor with dual nationality who lives in rural Nottinghamshire with her partner Roger and daughter Sophie, 17. She will swap lives with Pauline, a Ukip campaigner who lives with her husband Andy and daughter Katie, 14, on Canvey Island, the area with the third highest Leave vote in the country.
Photo: Richard Ansett/Dave King Courtesy of Chanel 4
Wife Swap, which first aired in 2003, ran for six seasons and was exported overseas. The US version, in particular, was a corker.
Emily Jones, a commissioning editor at Channel 4, said: " Wife Swap was largely about how people chose to run their homes, but it always had political undertones," reported the BBC. "Now the world has changed and recent events have brought political issues into the heart of every household."
If you're close to anyone who voted differently from you in the EU referendum, you'll probably be able to relate to the familial drama the topic can cause. We've had our fair share of angry dinner-table debates on the benefits and drawbacks of the single market.
As you well know, the property market in this country is bang out of order. Since 2011, house prices across the UK have grown by 32%. In London, they've skyrocketed by as much as 68%.
According to data from the Land Registry, as of February, the average house price in the UK is a not-insignificant £224,144. That's eight times the average annual wage of £27,600.
But what can that get you around the country? Let's take a look...
London
Currently, the average asking price for a one-bed flat in London is an absolutely mad £469,624. Obviously, however, some areas are cheaper than others, which means that it is, in some places, still possible to make £220k stretch to a two- or even three-bed property (the ridiculous nature of this statement is not lost on us, btw). This studio flat in Holloway, though, seems to be a pretty good average. It's actually not too shabby – but does come with the downside of NOT HAVING A KITCHEN. Hotplate it is. Thanks London!
Manchester
Manchester is another city where prices differ wildly from place to place – although not nearly as much as they do in London. So let's stick to the city centre, shall we? The average price for a one-bed flat has, of late, been £178,007 so in theory, £224k should deliver nicely. And it does. This new-build apartment right in the centre (just a few minutes' walk from Piccadilly) has a balcony, an open-plan kitchen, parking and 24-hour concierge.
Cardiff
In the last 12 months, properties in the Welsh capital have gone for an average price of £233,088. As a result, this lovely three-bedroom house – a 15-minute drive into the centre – is £220k.
Armagh, Northern Ireland
Belfast might me a little spenny but outside in the lush countryside, you can get silly amounts of house for your money. This four bedroom detached house nay mansion is just £210,00.
The average price paid for a property in Glasgow is currently £172,447. This two-bed flat is £219k at the moment and was, quite frankly, too cool not to include. However, there's plenty of opportunity to get up to five-bed houses for the same price in the near vicinity. This four-bed townhouse, for £225k, could fit you and all your friends with room to spare.
Derby
Derby's had a fair bit of regeneration in recent years, meaning that the area around the cathedral is now top-notch. The average house price is currently £196,882, although if you head out a few minutes' drive from the centre, you could get a five-bedroom place for £225k. Those floors.
Birmingham has good connections to London, which means it's not going to be super cheap. The average house for sale is now around £192,384. This lovely converted house in Gravelly Hill is a great find for £220k.
Liverpool
Since being named the UK's City of Culture back in 2008, Liverpool has gone from strength to strength. The average house price is £165,855, while this three-bed flat, right next to the train station, is £215k.
Cornwall
Notoriously expensive, thanks to city people buying up holiday homes which lie empty for much of the year, you can nevertheless get this super cute two-bedroom house in Penryn for £220k.
Belgravia, London
This is the UK's most expensive place – the average house price paid here is £4.1m (HAHAHAHA). Luckily, you can still purchase something for £200k... a parking space. A parking space opposite Harrods.
So. Done.
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*Refinery29 does not condone or encourage the use of non-evidence-based medicines like kambo in any way.
I turned up to the ceremony, two litres of water tucked under each arm. I knocked on the door of the grand west London flat that was moonlighting as a holistic retreat. I already felt woozy – you’re not allowed to eat for eight hours before you arrive – and as the practitioner opened the door, I was engulfed by a waft of incense which made my empty stomach lurch pre-emptively. “Welcome sister, come in.”
I was trying kambo for the first time. It was something I hadn’t even known existed until the week before, when I’d pointed at the three symmetrical holes on my friend’s ankle and asked her what they were. “Kambo,” she’d said, as she tried to scratch around the forming scab. They looked like fag burns. “It’s a healing ritual from South America using frog poison. You vomit loads and then feel amazing. It’s changed my life.”
This was the first time I’d heard about people giving alternative healing preference over Western medicines. I had friends who’d dabbled in San Pedro or ayahuasca in South America but I hadn’t thought that it had much to do with healing, and more to do with tripping balls on your gap year. For that reason, I practically laughed in my friend’s face when she told me about kambo but, later that night, I found myself scouring the internet for information, curious to learn more about its supposedly "life-changing" properties.
Like ayahuasca, kambo has been used as a medicine for years by Panoan tribes in the Amazon. Secretions from the giant leaf frog are harvested – ethically, the kambo blogs assure me – then the top layer of your skin is burned away and the poison is introduced to lymph nodes which carry the kambo round your body. The ritual's MO is to be violently sick, expelling the toxins the kambo has extracted from your body. The Panoan tribes use it before a hunt, to clear the mind and sharpen the senses, as well as for treating snake bites and tropical diseases.
Now, however, kambo is being used by some in the West as a tool to help with mental and physical illnesses. Dr. Dennis McKenna, professor at the Centre for Spirituality and Healing at the University of Minnesota, told me that this rise is part of a growing phenomenon and, reading through countless blogs written by kambo advocates, I had to agree.
I couldn't find much about the hard science of kambo – something to do with peptides. Any written evidence is flimsy at best. Worryingly, Dr. McKenna explained to me that the peptides in kambo were “potentially useful, but also dangerous” and The Royal College of General Practitioners told me that they don’t condone the use of “non-evidence-based medicine”. I also stumbled across a few stories where people had died while using kambo, although these seemed to be lone wolves using the poison in the wrong way, ie. ingesting it through your blood or orally, or taking too much.
What the fuck was I doing? I was in a random basement with total strangers, about to be given a substance with absolutely no proven medical value.
What really struck me were the testimonies. I scrolled through pages and pages of people thanking their kambo practitioner and urging everyone else to try it. People who’d suffered with addiction, ME, chronic diseases; people recovering from cancers – this frog poison seemed to have transformed their lives. I found an interview with Teresa, the practitioner my friend had seen, where she spoke about how she’d suffered with depression her whole life. She’d tried anything that doctors and friends would recommend, only for the illness to tighten its hold. But since first using kambo she’d felt a shift; through more sessions, her depression lifted and she became a kambo practitioner to treat people who felt like they were out of alternatives.
In Britain, young people have the second worst mental health in the world; we’re in the midst of a mental health crisis compounded by dwindling services for those who are engulfed in it. I knew this first-hand. Events over the past two years had left me in a bad way. Going from not having experienced anxiety or depression to feeling them both so intensely all the time was scary. After trying for weeks on end to get an appointment with my GP, I changed my practice. After seeing a new doctor I faced a lengthy waiting list for pressed NHS services and, not feeling well enough to wait up to six months, I was referred to a charity that ran counselling. When that fell through because of funding cuts I finally shelled out for a private therapist, with whom I didn’t make much headway and couldn’t afford to continue seeing once our sessions were up. It was awful. Finding help had taken me over a year and actually getting somewhere healthier seemed impossible.
So when I read about this "miracle" treatment, my interest was piqued – even if there were risks attached. Sure, the friend who’d recommended it also believed in the healing power of crystals, but I was desperate. I emailed the practitioner my friend had recommended and booked for a "kambo circle" the following week. Those tiny holes in her ankle seemed a small price to pay for a shot at mental clarity.
Illustrated by Ellie Blackwell.
Inside the flat, an array of giant earthy-coloured pouffes and blankets was set out in the front room. A tiny shrine in the fireplace, complete with a porcelain frog statue, housed the kambo resin on a piece of carved wood. Four buckets in bright colours were stacked ominously in the corner. Teresa led me over to one of the pouffes and introduced me to the other guy who would complete our circle. He was in his 40s and looked like he’d probably done a lot of drugs in his lifetime.
Teresa carefully explained each part of the ceremony, step by step. The highlight was learning that if you needed to "bottom purge" you had to crawl to the bathroom because of the drop in blood pressure you get. Great. I had mixed feelings; I didn’t really want these strangers to watch me expel bodily fluids. Sensing my apprehension, she turned to me. “Kambo is an intense experience, but it works fast,” she smiled.
We opened the space with a prayer to the spirit of kambo and I quickly realised a lot of my time would be spent holding hands and following sacred rituals. I reluctantly sung the kambo song. We then had to state our intentions, something that’s done with ayahuasca, too – you explain why you’re there and what you’re hoping to get out of it. In case you’re wondering, the haggard guy said he was there to “reset” so he could continue smoking DMT on the regular.
Since arriving, we’d been instructed to chug our water down. Mr. DMT had finished so Teresa turned to him and after burning a couple of test points into his skin to see how his body reacted to the "medicine", she sat close to him and asked him what he was feeling.
I have to say that the worst part of my whole kambo experience was this guy. Pretty soon after the first points were administered, he lost colour and closed his eyes. He started to dry heave. The end game is to be very, very sick, so you basically have to keep administering points until you spew. She gave him a couple more. Apparently when you work with kambo regularly, you’ll have a set number of points, kinda like a golf handicap – but working out that sweet spot was proving difficult.
Kambo users say that depending on what chakra you’re working with, you can throw up all colours of the rainbow. I later Googled what I threw up and I was pretty sure it was just bile, but it’s a nice idea.
I sat opposite, trying to meditate as I was told… but feeling more and more freaked out. What the fuck was I doing? I was in a random basement with total strangers, about to be given a substance with absolutely no proven medical value, which could kill in the wrong hands. Teresa gave him a few more points and turned to me: “Best get you going too, then.”
I was way too far down the rabbit hole so I closed my eyes and rolled up my trouser leg. The burns are always on "meridians" and "chakras" and which one you choose depends on your intentions; traditionally, women get their first kambo points on the inside of their right ankle. Teresa pressed what looked like a smoking matchstick into my skin, then rolled three tiny balls of the resin into the burns. I sat back and waited, trying to block out the man's groans.
I started to feel extremely hot. Rising from my ankle through my body, my blood felt like it was coursing through me at 10 times its normal speed. My cheeks burned and I felt a pressure build in my head like a balloon. I touched my face, to feel it puffed-up and swollen like a frog. The irony. The pressure mounted then dropped back through my body, leaving my heart throbbing in my ears. As it subsided, nausea crept into my belly and gripped my throat. I didn’t need any more points, thank god, I was going to be sick.
Heaving into the bucket, bitter black bile diluted the clear watery substance that I’d just thrown up. “That’s good, that’s all the toxins you’ve purged” the practitioner said, encouragingly. I attempted to look up at her but my eyes were watering and my face was puffy, and she looked pityingly back as I threw up more. Kambo users say that depending on what chakra you’re working with, you can throw up all colours of the rainbow. I later googled what I threw up and I was pretty sure it was just bile, but it’s a nice idea. Finally, I heard the other guy fill his bucket and his groaning stopped. 20 minutes later it was all over and I was huddled in the foetal position under a throw that smelt like hemp and Nag Champa.
My heart sank and I realised I’d been mugged for 60 quid. At least I hadn’t died, I thought.
Waking up the following day, I felt much the same as I had previous months. My heart sank and I realised I’d been mugged for 60 quid. At least I hadn’t died, I thought, and got on with my morning. As the day progressed, I started to feel increasingly energetic and focused, confident. For the next 48 hours I felt invincible. It was a marked difference in my daily mental state – I couldn’t believe it. It didn’t last forever, though; after a few days I slipped back into the same patterns of thoughts and feelings, but those who claim it’s really helped them continue to do kambo in rounds. Maybe I needed more?
The sceptic in me didn’t buy into the ceremonial side of kambo, but I doubt I would have had the same experience sticking it in my leg solo on the bathroom floor. Nor would I have felt safe. The ritual is an important part of it. I’m sure a degree of kambo is psychosomatic – but so what? Does that matter, if it genuinely helps people? Being in a space where someone is so focused on helping you on a level I’d not experienced before felt great. Teresa messaged the day after to check in on me. Dr. McKenna agreed that “placebo is important in the dynamics of healing” but added that whether it was important “in kambo or ayahuasca is not clear.”
30 years ago, the Brazilian pit viper’s venom revolutionised medicine. A synthetic strain of the poison was introduced to blood pressure tablets and continues to save millions of lives. The snake’s poison had been used in the Amazon as medicine for decades before pharmaceutical companies paid it any attention. Currently, there’s interest in kambo from the same type of companies; flash-forward another 30 years – might we see a chemical strain of kambo being used to treat addiction? Or chronic conditions? Mental illness? I have no idea. But I’m already booked in for my next session.
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For those who have been trying to fill a Wes Anderson-shaped hole since 2014's Grand Budapest Hotel, here's a little something to tide you over until his next movie, Isle of Dogs, which comes out next year.
Over the weekend, on Reddit, a relatively new and teeny tiny subreddit called Accidental Wes Anderson hit the big time when user Nekhera posted this picture of a North Korean conference room which seems to have jumped straight off the set of one of the director's iconic films.
Since then, the subreddit has grown to nearly 20,500 subscribers and over 100 other pictures reminiscent of films like Moonrise Kingdom, The Royal Tenenbaums and Rushmore have also been submitted.
This is not the first time North Korean interiors have been singled out for their similarity to Wes Anderson films – Dazed first noted the parallels back in 2015. Thanks to r/AccidentalWesAnderson, though, we're discovering style-alikes all over the world.
From a train on the Flåm Railway, a two-hour journey through some of Norway's most beautiful scenery, starting at Myrdal high mountain station and ending up in Flåm, in the midwest of Norway.
This ballet class in North Korea
Another one from the closely guarded country.
This café in Canada
Part of the Diefenbunke r in Ottawa, a 100,000-square-foot bunker built during the Cold War to house 535 Canadian government and military officials in the event of a nuclear war. It is now a museum.
This underground bunker in Las Vegas
Another relic from the Cold War, this house looks normal at street level but conceals much more below ground. It recently sold for $1.7 million.
These barracks in Puerto Rico
Ballajá Barracks, located in San Juan. They were restored in 1986.
This building in Canada
Located at 103 Princess Street in Winnipeg, near the American border with North Dakota.
This hotel in Jordan
Located right next to the gates of Petra, Hotel Petra Moon is a popular place for tourists visiting one of the new seven wonders of the world.
This lounge on board the Hindenburg
As the real Hindenburg met a sticky end when it burst into flames on one of its first voyages in 1937, this photo is of a recreation of what it would have looked like.
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Sandra is a 29-year-old London-based designer and has been to 12 weddings in the past two-and-a-half years. At every single one she’s been expected to pay for her own drinks.
This isn’t a quirk of her friendship group. According to a survey by wedding planning app Bridebook, only 21% of couples offer an open bar at their wedding, but for people outside of Sandra’s demographic, this is an odd phenomenon. Marisa is 39 and her job as a business consultant has meant she’s lived in Paris, Vancouver, Lithuania and southern Spain over the last eight years. “I’ve been to many weddings in many countries I’ve lived in and of course everything is paid for. In France, it would seem crazy to have to pay for your own drinks at a wedding. Very vulgar,” she said.
Geraldine, who got married at 22 in the early 1990s near Guilford, also felt that paying for her guests’ food and drink was non-negotiable. “When I got married it was either a church or a registry office, followed by a reception at a hotel. Weddings were very formulaic — there was little room for individuality. We were given a price by the venue and we didn’t consider making any changes, really. Every other wedding at the time was pretty similar.”
But now people getting married have endless choices when it comes to their wedding, and couples are increasingly using it as a way to express their creativity. The Bridebook survey also showed that 1 in 5 weddings in 2016 had a dedicated hashtag to use on social media when sharing photos and videos. Founder Hamish Shephard thinks this is an important factor in couples’ priorities, as they are a lot more image conscious than previous generations.
He said: “Couples can wait until the absolute last minute — even the night before the wedding — to decide whether to pay for drinks or not. So many couples overspend on their budget that when it comes to shelling out an extra three or four thousand pounds for drinks, it can make more sense to let guests buy their own. It won’t affect their enjoyment of the day and each individual will be spending a fairly small amount.”
Joe Blackman has been a wedding planner for ten years, and is the founder of events company Collection26. He agrees with this suggestion. “For most couples, it becomes a choice between paying for their guests’ drinks but maybe sacrificing on something else like flowers or the dream venue, and they’re already spending so much money on their guests that it’s hard to justify another huge expense like that.”
While weddings are becoming increasingly expensive and often unattainable to young couples, the cost of being a wedding guest has also skyrocketed. Sandra, the designer who’s attended twelve of them, explains: “For most weddings there’s a hen do which is either abroad or in another part of the country, so I pay for travel, accommodation and all the activities which have been chosen. Most weddings aren’t in London either, so you’re looking at train journeys and at least one night in a hotel. Then there’s the taxis to and from the venue, the outfits — you can’t really wear the same dress more than once, at least not within the same friendship group — and of course a wedding gift and drinks on the day.” Sandra said being a bridesmaid, which she has been twice, can increase the cost even further, and estimates she’s spent at least £5,000 on attending all these weddings, which — ironically — is money she could have put towards a free bar at her own wedding, which she’s currently planning. But she thinks paying for drinks is a perfectly reasonable way for her to contribute to the cost of the weddings she attends, regardless of how extravagant they are.
“I’d be shocked if I went to a wedding where I didn’t have to buy my own drinks. It would be nice of course, but also slightly uncomfortable for me. Sort of like when you go out for dinner and your friend pays while you’re not looking — why couldn’t we just split the bill?” she said. “Alcohol is expensive and my friends drink quite a lot. We don’t expect people to pay for that, even at weddings. They give us a couple of drinks and a nice meal, and I think that’s fair enough. Buying more drinks is my choice”
Abi got married in Wales last year aged 26. While she was certainly conscious of the expense to her guests, she and her now-husband made the choice to not offer a free bar all night. “We had a relatively small budget of around £6,000 and we wanted to make sure we could save wherever possible,” she said. “We actually found a Groupon deal for our venue. We didn’t have flowers, which can be so expensive, and instead filled vases up with pick’n’mix for table centrepieces. We provided a meal and a couple of drinks for each guest but anything more would have been impossible,” said Abi. They didn’t ask for gifts and made sure that accommodation in the area and transport to the wedding was affordable, so that their guests had a nice day without worrying about the cost.
Young people getting married in the UK are increasingly eschewing tradition in favour of more unique, original, and yes, Instagram-worthy weddings, but this comes at a cost. With everyone in the same boat, it seems letting people pay their way when it comes to drinks is not just socially acceptable, but even preferable to many guests, who would rather shell out for a few glasses of wine than have to come up with appropriate gifts and worry about repaying the favour when their turn comes around.
Photo: Brogues Cozens-Mcneelance/EyeEm.
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Nike’s iconic Cortez is celebrating its 45th anniversary this year, and yet the lifestyle trainer seems as fresh as ever. The brand has given the round-toed shoe a birthday update with perforated white leather and gold detailing, ushering the Cortez Classic Premium QS into 2017. The trainer has a long cultural history, starting with a ‘70s Farrah Fawcett skateboarding through teenage boys’ dreams in denim flares. While made to be a sport shoe – it was unveiled at the 1972 Munich Olympics and worn by Team USA athletes – its slick and simple design has been referenced everywhere from The Karate Kid to Forrest Gump, and worn by Whitney Houston, Eazy-E and Kendrick Lamar alike.
As part of Nike’s Beautiful X Powerful Collection, who better to wave in the shoe’s renewal than the face of the moment, Bella Hadid. The 20-year-old shot the campaign in LA, proving how versatile the shoe is, styling it with silk dresses and bomber jackets, joggers and running jackets. Then there’s the homage to Fawcett: Bella in a red wraparound sports bra and denim kick flares, riding on a longboard. “I love skating. When I was younger in Malibu my friends would teach me how to skate and we’d mess around with it, so it was fun being on set and be ok with falling,” Hadid explains.
Photo: Courtesy of Nike.com
Sitting down with the model after a Q&A she gave to hundreds of fans who had been waiting in anticipation at the Nike store in Paris, it’s easy to forget how young she is and, with 13.5 million Instagram followers, how many eyes are watching her. She’s strong and successful, but does the weight of being a role model feel heavy on her shoulders? “It’s crazy because even the people that look up to me are older than me. I’m still growing, and that’s the hardest part, because if you’re in the spotlight you’re immediately an adult. I’m still learning how to deal with that,” she explains. “It’s hard. The things I’d do is the same shit other 20-year-olds in college would do, but it’s different for me because people are watching. I work as hard as I can, and strive to be the best that I can be, so I can be the best role model for others.”
It must help to have a mother, sister and friends who know so well how the industry works. “That’s how I unwind. I’ll come home with all my luggage, and my girlfriends are usually already at my apartment waiting for me, and we sit and watch movies and order in. I just like being as normal as I can possibly be with my girlfriends, who tell me to shut the fuck up because they don’t care. It brings me back down, being with my people.” She’s sweet, humble and grounded, and actually, talking with her is like talking with a friend. She looks incredible, of course, in a Nike cropped roll neck and white tracksuit bottoms, making the athleisure lifestyle look appealing to even the most dedicated Dr. Martens wearer. How would she style the Cortez? “What’s so dope about these shoes is that they’re so versatile. You can style them with a T-shirt and Levi’s and you look like you’re fresh out of the ‘90s; I wore them with a beautiful little white silk dress; and of course, it completes a cool workout outfit. They elevate everything, it’s such an iconic shoe.”
Bella’s meteoric rise has been mirrored in the interest garnered by her personal style. Walking for fashion giants like Marc Jacobs, Balmain, Chanel and Alexander Wang must have an influence on your sartorial choices. “It’s funny, I just looked at a picture from when I was 15 and my style is so similar. Except I just used to wear vintage clothes, I wouldn’t buy designer stuff, and I wear more heels now. I’ve always worn a lot of leather and sneakers, though.” With a penchant for streetwear and a good pair of sunglasses, Bella’s fans are just as obsessive about what she wears on a Sunday as to the Met Gala. When she’s worked with so many esteemed brands, what drew her to the Nike campaign? “It’s crazy because I’ve always loved Nike, it just always seemed untouchable. But the shoot in LA was so much fun, and what’s so cool about working with the brand – it’s not about looking perfect and polished. It’s about activity, being yourself and being powerful.”
The shooting claimed the lives of 49 people and left 53 injured. About 90% of the victims killed were Latinx, with 23 of them being Puerto Rican. Starting in the early hours Monday, and continuing almost 24 hours later, survivors, victims' families, city officials, and central Florida residents will remember the victims with four services.
The first service was closed to the public, and was held at the nightclub for survivors, local officials, and club employees. It overlapped with the exact time that gunman Omar Mateen began firing shots — a little after 2 a.m. on June 12, 2016.
It will be followed by another midday service at the nightclub, and an evening gathering in the heart of downtown Orlando. A final, music-filled late-night service is being held at Pulse.
Mateen pledged allegiance to the Islamic State during the attack and was eventually killed by police during a shootout after a three-hour standoff. His wife, Noor Salman, is facing charges of aiding and abetting and obstruction in federal court, and she has pleaded not guilty to helping her husband.
On Monday, local churches throughout Orlando have arranged for church bells to ring simultaneously, 49 times at noon.
Local officials also have declared the one-year mark as a day of "love and kindness," and they are encouraging residents to volunteer or perform acts of compassion.
An exhibit of artwork collected from memorial sites set up around Orlando after the massacre will be shown at the Orange County History Centre, and a giant rainbow, gay-pride flag will be unveiled at the Orange County government building.
Not all the survivors planned to attend the events, saying it would be too difficult.
"There's going to be so many things going on that I feel it will be overwhelming for those affected," said Ricardo Negron, who managed to escape the club without physical harm after the shooting started.
Demetrice Naulings said he would likely go to some of the commemorative events but he wasn't looking forward to it. Naulings also escaped from the club but lost his best friend, who was fatally shot.
"Seeing all of the other people from the club, I'm pretty sure the hugs will be teary. I'm not looking forward to that," Naulings said. "I'm not looking for 'I'm sorry.' I feel like that doesn't help me. I feel like that is pity and I don't want pity."
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As someone more into pizza than probiotics, I've never given the Goop lifestyle much thought. Well, I have — but I've perused the site just long enough to deduce that it was not for me. In fact, if you told me just a month ago that I would be spending my Saturday at Gwyneth Paltrow's wellness retreat, aptly named In Goop Health, I may have laughed. (Or at least asked you where I got the extra $500 (£400) to spend on the day-long event.) Alas, my Saturday was spent blending in as best as possible with the healthy (and likely hella wealthy) Goop worshippers — and it was completely surreal.
I have lived in the capital of juice cleanses and $45 spin classes — a.k.a. Los Angeles — for about three years now, but I've somehow been able to avoid the major lifestyle overhaul that so many L.A. transplants so often dish about on Instagram. Paltrow herself was once one of those people. During one of the many panels the Iron Man actress moderated over the course of the day, she shared that she aligned herself with healthier living following her father's cancer diagnosis. It inspired her to put down the Camel Reds (which she admitted more than once she'll pick up at the occasional party because, hey, who's perfect?) and pick up the gluten-free, dairy-free zucchini bread. (Her father told her it was like "biting into the New York Times.")
Photo: Marc Patrick
Today, Paltrow's lifestyle blog Goop boasts articles like "Is Your Clothing Toxic?" and "12 (More) Reasons To Start A Jade Egg Practice." It's not hard to see why the actress has been criticised for promoting pseudo-science — some would even say misinformation — leading to online articles like "Don't Take Medical Advice From Gwyneth Paltrow" and "Is Gwyneth Paltrow Wrong About Everything?" Yet for all the jokes that the media has made at the star's expense (some earned, many not) she has legions of fans — ones so loyal they shelled out either $500, $1,000, or $1,500 to participate in Saturday's festivities.
Much of the crowd that gathered at 3Labs, a super-chic warehouse space in Culver City, California, looked a lot like Paltrow herself: trendy blondes with either amazing genetics and/or a fantastic skincare regimen. The latter you could score yourself, if you've got a few hundred dollars to drop: The event contained the "Goop Hall," a place to purchase many of the products featured on the blog, as well as the company's own Goop line of clean beauty products. I was afraid to touch the $110 bottles of moisturiser.
Along the edges of the space were food vendors from a variety of Los Angeles restaurants, which quickly became my favourite part of the day. I started the day with a cup of iced matcha before moving on to some overnight oats and ginger shots. By lunch, I was ready to feast. Why, yes, I would like a second KyeRito. Raspberry vegan ice cream with cinnamon roll chunks? Don't mind if I do. A Sweetgreen salad to hold me over until the next panel? Hand me that Goop-branded wooden fork, because I'm digging in.
Photo: Emma Feil
As a member of the Lapis clan — the cheapest ticket one could buy, or, in this case, acquire a press pass for — I had the opportunity to enjoy a plethora of activities. Technically, I could take part in so-Goopy-it-could-be-a-joke activities like a vitamin I.V. drip — which involved spending 15 minutes with a needle in your arm — a crystal reading, and even aura photography. Sadly, Paltrow had created the Disneyland of wellness summits: While the activities were enticing, the lines were too long to really want to wait for any of them. I really did want to see if I felt more energised with some extra pumps of vitamin whatever coursing through my veins — but I knew I would feel a lot worse if I missed an entire panel while waiting on my drip.
Okay, really, I didn't want to miss the 10-minute facelift, a small surgical procedure that was performed in front of hundreds of eager Goop fanatics. The facelift — done on a Goop employee whose face was pre-numbed before hopping up on stage — involved a doctor sticking a needle and thread through a woman's cheek in order to pull the sugar-molecule thread through her skin. The result? A tighter appearance, and at least a few nauseous members of the audience. It was, apparently, Paltrow's idea.
Fortunately, no other panel involved plastic surgery — no matter how non-invasive. The panels, which were spread out throughout the roughly nine-hour day, were, at least for me, hit or miss. Though Paltrow gushed about Dr. Habib Sadeghi, the first speaker of the day and the cofounder of Be Hive of Healing, he lost me pretty much immediately. I tried to keep up with his buzzwords and explanation for how our minds can manifest illness in our body, but eventually I settled for clapping politely. That's not to say that the man who coined the term "conscious uncoupling" — the explanation for which was the only part of his speech that I truly felt like I understood — didn't have a good chunk of the audience enthralled. Perhaps I needed to spend a little more time on Goop prior to the event. I felt like I had missed a homework assignment everyone else was clued into weeks ago.
The panel on sexuality included some authentic, hilarious commentary from panelists like Jenni Konner, executive producer of HBO's Girls. A second, about how our relationship with our mothers can affect us in our adult lives, was moving and not quite as lofty as the concept originally sounded. Eventually, I realised that I could get on board with panels that were more focused on mental and spiritual health than, say, ones about the physical body. I know for a fact that I am not going to remove the seeds from my tomatoes before eating them, or stop popping the occasional ibuprofen, as the doctors speaking at the "Gut Check" panel implored. But forgiving yourself for making mistakes, as the authors of The Tools suggested during their speech? That's advice I'll gladly take.
Photo: Marc Patrick
While I probably wouldn't have shelled out $500 for it, I did love watching Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Nicole Richie, Tory Burch, and Miranda Kerr talk about their career goals, relationships, and unapologetic feminism, even if the panel was awkwardly named "Balls In The Air." Fashion designer Burch got real about how she was afraid of the word "ambition" when she was launching her now-empire. Richie — who is Diaz's sister-in-law, just in case you forgot that their partners are the twins from Good Charlotte — discussed moving on from being a stay-at-home mom to launching her own uber-successful career.
Of course, it wouldn't be a Goop event without the celebrities revealing the Goopiest shit that they do. Kerr talked about how her husband, Snapchat founder Evan Spiegel, inspired her to launch her own skincare line — then admitted that she had just received a leech facial, which, yes, is exactly what it sounds like. Kerr, bless her heart, took the leeches home in order to save them from being murdered by her aesthetician.
"And I thought I was batshit crazy," Paltrow mused following Kerr's admission.
Photo: Marc Patrick
The event concluded at around 6:30 p.m., in which Team Lapis was sent home with a goodie bag worth over $200. It was a damn good goodie bag: I scored two books from speakers of the evening, plus condoms, lubricant, a hair towel, towelettes, two bracelets, an oil-pulling kit, probiotics, natural deodorant, lip balm, and awesome moisturiser. One thing I'm not a fan of? The gigantic can of powdered collagen, designed to make my skin prettier upon mixing in water. (As a vegetarian, and also not as a vegetarian, hard pass.)
So, while I may not consider myself a card-carrying Goopie, spending the day in Paltrow's zone wasn't nearly as outrageous as I expected. At the end of the day, I left with a stomach full of veggies, a swag bag of useful stuff, and images of Miranda Kerr with a face covered leeches. No one made me eat clay either, so all in all, I'm considering the event a raging success.
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For the study, published in the journal Communication Monographs, researchers recruited 49 college-aged women — all who said they wanted to be thinner — to participate. The researchers then showed them varying images of thin, average-sized, and plus-sized fashion models on a TV screen, and monitored their psychological responses.
After looking at each image, the women answered questions about how satisfied they were with their bodies, and how much they compared themselves to the models.
Perhaps unsurprisingly, when thinner models were on screen, the participants made more comparisons between themselves and the people they saw. But when average-sized or plus-sized models were on screen, the participants made fewer comparisons, felt better about their own bodies — and even remembered more about those models than they did the thinner ones.
“We found overwhelmingly that there is a clear psychological advantage when the media shows more realistic body types than the traditional thin model,” Jessica Ridgway, one of the researchers of the study, said in a statement.
Again, it's no surprise that seeing more realistic body types in media has a positive effect on women. In fact, while most American and British women are average or plus-sized, images of these body types makes up less than 2% of what we see.
While what we say and think about our bodies matter most of all, it can still be hard to avoid the impact that other people (including the media) have on our body image. This new research, however, may just be a step in the right direction for more body positivity and representation.
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Millennials have been linked with both self-importance and an undying love of avocado toast. But according to the Huffington Post, real-life millennials aren't actually so keen on one of those things.
The site teamed with research company YouGov to figure out, once and for all, whether or not millennials are obsessed with the green stuff. Last year, when avocado toast hit its peak, it was being blamed for everything, from millennials' struggles with home ownership and finances to restaurants adding it to menus with the hopes that it would bring in a new clientele. But the numbers don't lie: While avocado toast was front and centre in the minds of millennials, they weren't actually eating all that much of it. And — gasp! — 65% of under-30 diners say they've never even seen it offered on a menu.
HuffPo found that "people aged 18-29 (a group mostly comprising millennials) are in fact not more obsessed with avocados than anyone else." Well, there goes that theory: People of all ages pretty much love avocados in equal measure. The researchers also found that only 6% of millennials have actually ordered avocado toast at restaurants — that's only 1% above older adults' ordering habits. And here's where the news refutes claims that avocados are a hurdle to owning a home: YouGov's number crunchers found that 14% of millennials report making their own version of the dish at home, giving restaurant versions a big ol' DIY middle finger. Only 8% of adults over the age of 30 reported going homemade. Who's thrifty now?
We're not saying that chowing down on green toast at home leads to saving tons of actual green, but trends are pointing to a higher number of millennial homeowners. According to Zillow's new site, millennials make up 56% of first-time homebuyers and almost half of all homebuyers.
Millennials may love taking photos of avocado toast, but in real life, they're not actually ordering it up any more than their older counterparts.
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As festival season kicks off, so begins the annual conundrum of what to wear. While we want to look our best, we don't want to be battling with a playsuit in a Portaloo at 3am.
From Woodstock to Glastonbury, festivals have a long history of putting style centre stage: the '60s saw bohemia rule supreme with the Summer of Love, and Kate Moss donned waistcoats and denim cut-offs in the early noughties, while in recent years, Alexa Chung has made city dressing acceptable for muddy fields.
Now that our favourite music events take place not just in rural England but on South American beaches, in European city centres and American forests, we're free to be a little more experimental with our outfit choices.
Whether you've nabbed tickets to Latitude or Sziget, Afropunk or Lollapalooza, we've assembled outfits for every occasion, come rain or shine.
This Monki jacket has the biggest pockets, so you can store all your essentials while pushing your way to the front.
Nothing is more Glastonbury than a long floral dress, and this Ganni number comes in the most flattering shape, the wrap.
Ganni Geroux Silk Wrap Dress, £355, available at Ganni
A trusty bumbag is always key, and this burnt orange Eastpak one will match the khaki jacket nicely. Trust us, the bum bag is back.
Eastpak Springer Smooth Orange Bum Bag, £22, available at Urban Outfitters
Dr. Martens are our festival go-to. Wellies are needed when the weather gets too much, but when there's only a patch of mud, these heavyweight beauties will last the weekend.
Dr. Martens Zuma Hiker Ankle Boots, £130, available at ASOS
If you have to wear a mac, make sure you don't look like you're going on a water ride at a theme park. This longline Warehouse windbreaker comes in their print of the season.
Warehouse Peony Pop Windbreaker, £99, available at Warehouse
Hunter is the unofficial sponsor of English festivals, and for good reason: reliable and more stylish than most, team this patent ankle pair with fishnet socks.
Hunter Original Refinery Chelsea Black Gloss, £95, available at Office
This slick embroidered bomber would look great with step-hem jeans or worn over a floaty dress...
& Other Stories Embroidery Bomber Jacket, £110, available at & Other Stories
... Like this simple button-down.
Nobody's Child Cream Stripe Button Through Strappy Midi Dress, £25, available at Nobody's Child
This bag is a summer essential; it can be worn three ways: as a bumbag, across the body, or over the shoulder. It's big enough to hold everything you need, but not so big that you get annoyed remarks from people stood next to you in the crowd.
This tasseled backpack is ideal for sunnies, towel, water and suncream.
Mango Lapel Leather Backpack, £49.99, available at Mango
We've had our eye on these Marni sandals since spring. Embellished, chunky, crossover and ultra-comfy.
Marni Embellished Neoprene Sandals, £580, available at Net-A-Porter
We loved Weekday's recent foray into sunglasses. Here, a classic shape gets a rose-tinted update.
Weekday No Smirking Sunglasses, £57, available at Weekday
This pastel-faded towel is super-cute.
Oysho Pineapple Beach Towel, £35.99, available at ASOS
Réalisation has brought us the most flattering shapes with their wrap tea dresses – their blouses are just as French-girl-cool, and we want them in every print.
Réalisation The Bianca Star Struck, £108, available at Réalisation
These cut-offs from J.Brand avoid hot pants territory with an elongated length and high waist. Tuck the blouse into them, and add a Western belt.
J.Brand Distressed Shorts, £211, available at Farfetch
This bag just looks like a holiday, doesn't it?
Dodo Bar Or Kashi Jacquard Bucket Bag, £165, available at Matches Fashion
Big shades from Céline to hide your hangover eyes in style.
Céline Cat-Eye Sunglasses, £229, available at Selfridges
These sandals are both on-trend (croc effect, patent, strappy) and sturdy for dancing through the night.
Whistles Kingly Croc Studded Sandal, £165, available at Whistles
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I’m sitting with Otegha Uwagba and she is breaking a taboo. It’s not sex, not drugs but cold, hard cash that we’re talking about. “People find money really awkward but I try to encourage women to talk about salaries,” she says. “I think you’d be surprised at how many people are relieved when you do.”
The idea of swapping salaries might make you squirm but Otegha’s brand, Women Who, is all about addressing issues head-on. Founded in 2016, the platform was born when Otegha, who held posts in advertising at Vice and AMV BBDO, found that she lacked creative fulfilment while she was working in male-dominated environments. She explains: “I think I took for granted the fact that most of my most rewarding and productive working relationships had been with other women.” Otegha decided to establish a network for women like her – “women who were still figuring things out” – and today, Women Who connects people through a weekly newsletter and events that include design masterclasses and group visits to the V&A. There are no barriers to entry; the aim is to make solid business acumen readily available worldwide.
Last year, Otegha self-published Little Black Book, “a toolkit for working women” that covered practical tips on everything from sending the perfect email and nailing a presentation to getting comfortable with self-promotion. In essence, it answered the kind of questions that, if the workplace were a classroom, you’d be too scared to put your hand up and ask. The original handbook sold out in two days and was swiftly picked up by a literary agent. The re-release, which is out on 15th June, is a slicker version of the original but stays true to its core value of a no-bullshit approach to business.
One of the most refreshing aspects of the book, and indeed of Otegha herself, is the dedication to exposing the difficulties of starting out on your own; the side that involves chasing invoices and irregular cash flow. “I think there is a real tendency to glamorise this #hustle and #girlboss culture without showing the really nitty-gritty side,” she says. “I think the fact that people feel empowered enough to pursue their own things if they want to is great but, like any business, there has to be a good idea behind it. I definitely don’t think freelancing or being self-employed is for everyone. I don’t try and pretend that it is.”
Otegha is quick to bolster her own advice with words of wisdom from other women who are experts in their field. Little Black Book includes a closing chapter with quotations from icons including the editor of The Gentlewoman Penny Martin, Refinery29’s cofounder Piera Gelardi and the author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. Why? “Because you deserve better than made-up Marilyn Monroe quotes,” writes Otegha at the opening of the section. With that in mind, here are just a few of the founder’s top tips for women at work.
1. Be aware of when you’re being treated differently because you’re a woman and don’t be afraid to call it out We think of sexism as the big things – being slapped on the bum or instances of sexual assault – but sexism in the workplace can often be much subtler and insidious. It’s things like being asked to take notes for your male colleagues because you’re a woman and your default position is the secretary. So question whether you’re being treated differently because of gender. If you are, then call people out. I’ve done it once or twice and it’s very liberating.
2. Make an effort to introduce yourself Whether at work or in social situations, don’t just stand in the corner not talking to anyone. Go out, make yourself known, tell people what you’re about or what you’re working on – telling people what you’re passionate about is how important professional connections come about. Your network is never going to grow otherwise.
3. Ask for what you want Don’t assume people are going to read your mind. All too often women are conditioned to think that if they put their head down and work hard then the fruits of their labour will come. This especially applies when it comes to asking for more money. You can be surprised at how simple things can be when you just ask.
4. Educate yourself about finances Especially if you’re freelance or self-employed, it’s tempting to bury your head in the sand and hide from finances. But there’s a real sense of freedom that comes with having a handle on money. It never gets less boring, but I feel so much lighter having done it. Working with an accountant or having an accounting app like Xero will help make you more efficient.
5. Other women are not your competition Making a real, genuine, heartfelt effort to support other women is a really great feeling and also just good karma. It’s a cliché, but I do feel that a rising tide lifts all boats. It’s ingrained as a sort of patriarchal standard that women all have to be sharp-elbowed and compete with each other for one seat at the table, but we are better together than divided. This is key.
From snail cream to bee venom, the beauty industry certainly has an obsession with obscure ingredients. However, sometimes it’s the simple things that pack the mightiest punch. Take the humble seaweed, for example. This marine algae is currently making waves in the beauty world thanks to a flurry of new skincare launches singing its praises.
While slimy seaweed may get a bad rep at the beach, this nutrient-rich plant gives kale a run for its money in the superfood stakes. One of the hardiest crops on our planet, seaweed is packed full of magnesium, manganese, calcium, copper, iodine, iron, potassium, phosphorus and zinc. Not to mention that it's bursting with natural vitamins – in particular A, B, C, D and E – proven to boost immunity, improve heart health, and regulate hormones. And, of course, it will help your skin.
If you don’t fancy piling your plate with seaweed for breakfast, lunch and dinner, you can still reap its skin benefits via the products in your bathroom cabinet. Thanks to the alginates (acids that lock in moisture) in seaweed, it is excellent at soothing, hydrating and detoxifying the skin.
"The alginates work in the same way when it comes to skin and help to prevent it from drying out. They nourish, hydrate, and soften skin and soothe dryness, acne, psoriasis and eczema flare-ups, as well as removing toxins and cleansing pores, encouraging firmer skin tone and improving overall skin elasticity," explained Mark Sullivan of Living Sea Therapy, a Cornish brand pioneering skincare created with hand-harvested seaweed.
Whether you opt for a seaweed-infused soak, exfoliating scrub or detoxifying mask, getting your fix of this underwater algae couldn’t be easier. Click through to see our picks.
The closest thing to a dip in the Cornish sea without leaving your house, these bath salts are enriched with Living Sea Therapy’s unique Living Sea Complex® – a trio of sustainably hand-harvested seaweed varieties and a mineral-rich elixir sourced from the shores of the Lizard Peninsula. Not only will they hydrate and heal the skin, the mix of sage, chamomile and lavender essential oils will instantly calm a frazzled mind.
Inspired by the ancient Greek tradition of thalassotherapy (using marine-based treatments to revitalise the body and mind), Margate-based brand Haeckels decided to make the most of the abundance of seaweed just offshore. Incorporating it sustainably throughout its cult range, our standout choice is the cleanser. Combining seaweed with parsley seed, this gentle gel formula cleanses without stripping the skin.
Haeckels Seaweed Cleanser, £25, available at Haeckels
For an exfoliator that buffs and hydrates in equal measure, look no further than Sea In A Scrub from Plant Apothecary, a Brooklyn-based social enterprise creating chemical-free, environmentally friendly bath and body products. Combining mineral-rich sea kelp and healing sea buckthorn with a gently exfoliating sea salt, this luxurious scrub leaves limbs significantly smoother.
Harnessing the power of Atlantic kelp extract (otherwise known as large seaweed), this hydrating shower gel is a shortcut to soft skin. Blended with a cocktail of energising and awakening essential oils, including sage, rosemary, geranium and cypress, this is the ultimate Monday-morning shower option.
Ren Atlantic Kelp And Magnesium Anti-Fatigue Body Wash, £20, available at Ren
Enriched with Atlantic seaweed extract, this body gel-cream will hydrate skin and lock in moisture. Super-lightweight in consistency, it sinks in speedily, making it an ideal option for rushed mornings.
The Body Shop Spa Of The World Atlantic Seaweed Cream, £25, available at The Body Shop
Not just a great hydrator, seaweed can also work a treat on spot-prone skin. This 100% natural clarifying mask uses seaweed, green clay and rosehip to help balance oil levels and reduce spot-causing congestion. Use all over as a mask if you suffer from oily skin and congestion, or on specific areas as a spot-busting treatment.
I’m at home trying to watch Master of None when my thoughts start to tangle.
“I keep sneezing today. I also haven’t hoovered for a while – what if there are dust mites in my lungs? Can dust mites lay eggs? What if there’s a parasitic egg in my nasal passage and it grows into a tapeworm that relocates to my brain? Oh, what if my dog has that lungworm thing? He might be dying or already dead and no one’s told me yet. I need to text my dad and check if he’s dead.”
In that moment there are many things I could do to feel better: slow breathing, yoga, a bath or a game of Sims – but instead I grab a beer. Not because I think it’s the best option but because it’s easy, and I feel like I can rely on it to slow my mind and relieve the stomach-churning dread of anxiety.
Having suffered from anxiety most of my life, with particular emphasis on social anxiety, alcohol initially became an easy way for me to medicate the sweaty-palmed panic I’d feel when out in the pub with new people. As I’ve gotten older – and less sociable – my anxiety has become more generalised, meaning alcohol makes more sense in front of the TV before bed.
I’m not the only one using booze to manage my mental health. 29-year-old blogger, Sophie, suffers from depression and anxiety, and has previously been diagnosed with an eating disorder, psychosis and OCD. She’s had a love/hate relationship with alcohol since the age of 16: “My eating disorder despised it due to calorie content but my anxiety craved it to calm my nerves.”
Binge drinking fuelled much of Sophie’s teenage years and early 20s before she realised that the short-term relief made her long-term conditions worse.
“I am on lots of medication, which alcohol doesn't mix well with and I know overall I am much better avoiding alcohol completely as I drink myself into oblivion to try to get over the pain my anxiety causes.”
26-year-old Jade* started drinking to deal with her generalised anxiety and agoraphobia, caused in part by a chronic illness that had left her housebound. “A couple of shots of Cherry Sours for lunch and the anxiety quietened down. It worked. I started to feel numb (part of my illness includes alcohol intolerance),” she tells me.
This curing effect was a welcome surprise. “It started to become a regular occurrence and I'd be having some every weekday or when I had to face something that started to induce panic.”
Many of us drink to ease social anxiety but for 24-year-old Amy*, the anxiety was more extreme, meaning she couldn’t even make a phone call to the hairdressers or attend her classes without having a panic attack. “Around this time I went out with a few friends and got drunk. I think here I noticed the newfound confidence that comes with the right amount of alcohol.”
Beginning work full-time after graduating then opened her up to a completely different crowd of people; people whose daily routine was the pub at lunch and after work, too. So she joined in.
“I was at ease with myself and cracked jokes and was able to hold a genuine conversation without being so self-conscious. This eventually turned into a couple of drinks every day at lunch, and quite a few more after work every single day.”
Amy’s religion doesn’t allow intoxication of any kind, so when her family found out about her lifestyle, she was forced to reconsider how it was affecting her.
“I stopped drinking and found it easier to chat with people but never as easy as it was when I was a bit tipsy. I now drink socially rather than every day but I do miss that feeling and kind of feel like I'm missing out on something.”
I drink a beer or two every other evening. To my mind this isn’t such a bad way of managing my anxiety; it’s better than binge drinking and helps me to fall asleep after years of anxiety-induced insomnia. Chloe Brotheridge, an anxiety expert, hypnotherapist and author, disagrees.
“Alcohol unfortunately just masks the real issue and can hold women back from addressing their anxiety and making lasting progress,” she says.
It’s easy to view alcohol as a kind of costume, as though downing a glass of prosecco will transform you into somebody cool and calm. As Chloe reminds me, this is a facade that quickly wears off.
Photo: Alexandra Gavillet
“Alcohol might alleviate anxiety in the short term, it doesn’t address the core issue; your anxieties will still be there in the morning. Add to that the fact that for many people one glass of wine turns into one bottle and the 'hangxiety' the next day can be horrendous.”
Hilda Burke, a psychotherapist, couples counsellor and life coach, agrees, but also says that medicating anxiety with alcohol really depends on the person. “If you actually need that alcohol to feel you can relax then that indicates a level of dependency. On the other hand, if you sometimes just enjoy a glass of alcohol to relax and unwind that’s quite different.”
She tells me a better way to respond to anxiety is through befriending it. “Rather than running away from it or, even more damaging, worrying about the stress before it actually appears, gently get to know it. Sometimes this will involve some chair work where you try and engage in dialogue with the stress. Often it's a question of building up confidence – a reminder that you have dealt with and come through stressful situations in the past. It's important to hold in mind that the anxiety will not annihilate you.”
Of the women I spoke to, most had stopped drinking or at least learnt to moderate it.
“I started to focus on helping myself. The booze helped me get to a point where I wasn’t being as affected by my agoraphobia and I stopped feeling the need for alcohol as much," Jade tells me.
“Medication, and teaching myself coping mechanisms etc. have made a huge difference. I do sometimes end up using Diazepam, which sedates me in a similar way to the alcohol, but it's not something I depend on in the same way as I once did with alcohol.”
The first part of a quote by Leo Buscaglia goes “Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow” and sadly, the same is true of a bottle of wine. I’m still going to drink the occasional beer at home, but as a treat rather than a reliable way to feel better. For that, maybe a cup of tea and game of Sims isn’t such a bad idea.
*Name has been changed
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Porn is great, both to watch with partners and on your own for inspiration, but sex on TV can teach us as much – if not more – about sex than porn.
As well as the nitty-gritty – the how to, where to and why to – sex on TV also serves as a method of normalising those things women might be too scared to speak up about. How do we know that masturbation is something we're all doing when some of your friends are still too scared to talk about it openly? Because everyone on TV is at it. Which means that, like the characters their shows portray, so most likely are the show's creators, their friends, their partners. And hey, if it's happening on TV, it's a lot easier to talk about IRL, too. Case in point: Fleabag episode 1.
So, from the simple tips to more complex lessons about relationships, here's what I learned about sex from TV...
The importance of angles, positioning and style
While I would love to be body positive at all times, I'd be lying if I said I've never worried about what I look like in certain sex positions. From the width of my bum in doggy to the exact wobble of my boobs when I go on top, these things vexed me in the same way they vex any woman who's grown up in a society that tells her she should be neat and perfect and un-wobbly at all times.
The first lesson I learned from TV sex was the importance of angles and positioning. Worried about wobbling when you're on top? Place both hands on your head and play with your hair. Think you look weird in doggy? There's a reason TV shows have lighting directors – you can choose your lighting carefully to make sure you feel as sexy as you absolutely look. Feel sexier clothed than naked? There's no shame in that – check out the eye-wateringly hot lingerie on Mad Men and invest in some killer camisoles.
The actual 'how-to' of it all
There's something far more helpful and practical about watching actors on TV get into unusual positions – reverse cowgirl, against-a-wall, etc. – than seeing the simple illustrations in magazines. For example, it's easy for an advice columnist to suggest sex in the bath – far more difficult to actually do it, until you've seen the Game of Thrones scene with Viserys and Doreah, and realised that 'on top and very slowly' is the way to go. And you'll probably need a bigger bath.
But these lessons are simple, and ultimately cheap ones. Where TV box sets really add depth is when you consider the way sex drives the overall plot...
The importance of partnership
At the end of a hard day's machinations, Frank and Claire Underwood share a cigarette. There is so much sexual tension and relationship power wrapped up in this simple exchange. It symbolises taboos – the fact that when they're with each other behind closed doors they can break rules they'd never break in public. It demonstrates the give-and-take nature of their early relationship: one person taking their share, then passing the baton to the next. And above all it's personal in a way porn often isn't. So thanks to House of Cards for teaching me about intimacy.
Sex doesn't have to be about love
When I was very young, sex on TV was the climax of a series of dates. An expression of love between two (usually straight) people. Now, TV shows build much richer worlds and as a result, relationships are far more interesting. From the passionate hatefucks of Nancy Botwin in Weeds to the intense and almost indescribable friendship between Jimmy McGill and Kim Wexler in Better Call Saul, TV taught me that sex doesn't have to be all about romantic love. Hell, it doesn't even have to be about two people: just look at the incredible Westworld orgy for some hedonistic pleasure portrayal. That's a much more interesting lesson than the 'two people who love each other very much' storyline I was fed during sex ed.
Masturbation isn't taboo
Seeing people have sex out of boredom, horniness, nostalgia and myriad other reasons teaches us that we can do that, too. Solo sex is not only allowed, it happens all the time! On Girls, we were even treated to a scene where Marnie ran into the toilet to quickly masturbate because she was simply too horny to resist. TV taught me it was OK to enjoy my body without feeling like there had to be a deeper purpose to it.
When I was young, the TV show that would give me the funny flutters in my stomach was Moll Flanders. For those born a little after me, The Fortunes and Misfortunes of Moll Flanders starred the exceptional Alex Kingston as Moll (and also a very early Daniel Craig in britches). We followed her as she stole, cajoled, persuaded and fucked her way through 18th-century life. It was a far cry from love stories that positioned women as passive objects: Moll was the first TV character to show me that women could be the agents of their own destiny. Women could have hopes, dreams and ambitions as well as powerful sexuality.
Today, shows like Harlots take this message to the next level. Based on real stories, Harlots centres on the experiences of sex workers in the 18th century. Like the Moll Flanders I fell in love with as a youngster, the women in the show aren't just passive recipients of male attention. The women in Harlots sell sex and have power. They don't just giggle and flirt: they scheme and plot.
And yes, it's a show about sex work, so it includes plenty of hot scenes – the kind where you can pick up ideas and inspiration to take back to the bedroom later. But TV shows like these two have lessons for outside the bedroom as well as in it. Women don't just sit on the sofa, passively watching a world that men have created. We have power: we drive the plot.
Harlots: Series 1 is out on DVD and Digital Download now
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After launching less than a year ago in September 2016, Condé Nast's e-commerce site, Style.com has closed. Style.com has ceased business immediately and the website already redirects to Farfetch.com, as Condé Nast forges a new strategic partnership with the global luxury fashion online platform.
“As an early investor in Farfetch, this partnership is the next step in our evolving business relationship. It further unites two leaders in their respective sectors, combining best-in-class content with the world’s leading online luxury shopping destination,” chairman and chief executive of Condé Nast International, Jonathan Newhouse, who is joining the board of Farfetch, explained to Business of Fashion. “I would like to take this opportunity to thank the entire Style.com team for their dedication, energy and commitment.”
With a $100 million planned investment by Condé Nast in Style.com over the first four years, the e-tailer was supposed to rival Net-A-Porter and the world's other leading retail platforms, revolutionising the way readers of titles such as Vogue and GQ shopped. However, it was evident from the outset that things weren't going to plan – its launch was pushed back by a year in the UK, and a US launch never happened. Once the primary source for show reviews, catwalk images, breaking fashion news and insightful industry comment, Style.com was reincarnated as a luxury e-commerce site, with fashion aficionado and street style star Yasmin Sewell at the helm as fashion director.
It has not yet been disclosed what will happen to Sewell and the 75 members of staff employed by Style.com, though reportedly some will be able to interview for vacancies at Farfetch. According to a press release: "Condé Nast and Farfetch will partner to create a best-in-class content-to-commerce shopping experience, which will include a seamless technology connection to easily enable Farfetch product integration into Condé Nast's content; shopping guides created by Condé Nast publications, highlighting products from Farfetch; and distribution of shoppable content across Condé Nast digital and social platforms."
Natalie Massenet, co-chairman of Farfetch (who joined the company in February after leaving Net-a-Porter, which she founded in 2000), stated: "We are thrilled to be partnering with Condé Nast. Since 1999 I have believed in the importance of combining content and commerce in order to elevate the digital shopping experience... It will be thrilling to develop the next evolution of content and commerce with Anna Wintour and all the brilliant talented minds at Condé Nast."
Anna Wintour, artistic director at Condé Nast, added: "I've always believed that what sets Condé Nast apart is our voice and our vision. Partnering with Farfetch only enhances that, and brings a new dimension to all that we offer the world." All eyes on Farfetch to see how the fashion giant evolves for its next step.
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Roaming charges have long been a necessary evil for most mobile users when travelling abroad. Usually, avoiding them is a matter of turning off your data roaming and sticking to (potentially dodgy) public WiFi hotspots. But thankfully, this is all about to change.
Roaming charges will be abolished from 15th June (this Thursday) within the EU, meaning UK travellers won’t be charged extra for calls, texts and using data. Instead, they’ll come out of your regular allowance, the BBC reported.
No more near-death experiences upon opening your phone bill after a lovely break, and just in time for summer. Hallelujah!
More than nine million UK mobile users experienced “bill shock” after holidaying in the EU last year, according to research by uSwitch, so the new “Roam Like Home” legislation is bound to be widely welcomed.
The aim of the EU ban is to prevent travellers from receiving huge bills after downloading films or using large amounts of data in other ways while travelling.
However, mobile users are still likely to be charged for exceeding their allowance, and the amount will vary by provider, according to consumer watchdog Which?.
Different providers also include different countries in their roaming territories, so roaming charges may still apply in countries such as Switzerland and Andorra, and areas like the Channel Islands and the Isle of Man, which aren’t members of the EU or European Economic Area (EEA). Vodafone is reportedly the only network to include non-EU Turkey in its roaming bundle.
The countries included may also vary with the same provider, depending on whether you’re a pay-monthly or pay-as-you-go customer. The regulations don't apply to calls made from the UK to the EU, either.
Alex Neill, Which? managing director of home products and services, recommended "[taking] a close look at what is or isn't included in your current mobile deal".
Unfortunately, it’s unclear whether British travellers will still be eligible for this perk post-Brexit, although it's thought the ban will remain in place for at least two years. A leaked analysis earlier this year suggested we wouldn’t continue to be eligible, but mobile phone companies have suggested that we might.
Vittorio Colao, chief executive of Vodafone, said in February that Brits most likely wouldn't be lumbered with steep charges after Brexit. “We treat Switzerland, which is not part of the EU, as part of it so why would we not treat the UK that way?” he said.
Meanwhile, Ernest Doku, mobiles spokesman at uSwitch.com, said the re-introduction of roaming charges to UK travellers would be "a bitter pill for consumers to swallow". Too right. "For those providers looking to step up and stand out, they'd do well to look at how free EU roaming could be maintained," he added. Hear, hear!
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Update: The formerly homeless man who helped victims during the May terrorist attack in Manchester, Stephen Jones, will soon have a place to live. UK businessman David Sullivan and his son, David Sullivan Jr., vowed to find Jones a home by the end of the week. David Jr. tweeted that they're paying for Jones to stay in a hotel in the meantime.
The man — only identified by ITV News as "Steve" — was sleeping near Manchester Arena on Monday night when the blast occurred at an Ariana Grande concert. As chaos descended on the venue and victims tried to run away from the arena, Steve began helping those who were hurt — from pulling nails out of the victims' bodies to holding them while waiting for emergency responders to reach the scene. At least 22 people died and 59 were injured during Monday's bombing, making it the most fatal terrorist attack in the UK since 2005.
'We had to pull nails out of children's faces': Steve, a homeless man who was sleeping near #Manchester Arena, rushed to help young victims pic.twitter.com/dyxzZpal0Q
"Just because I'm homeless, it doesn't mean I haven't got a heart and I'm not human still," Steve told ITV News in an interview published on Tuesday morning that has since gone viral. "It's just instinct to go and help if someone needed your help, and it was children, it was a lot of children with a lot of blood on them screaming and crying. We were having to pull nails out of their arms and a couple out of this little girl's face."
He added, "It had to be done, you had to help. If I didn't help, I wouldn't be able to live with myself for walking away and leaving kids like that."
The interview spread like wildfire online, with many people calling Steve a hero and praising him for his selflessness and kindness in the panicked moments following the attack.
@itvnews it's often the people with the least that tend to offer the most. I hope this man receives the help and support that he deserves.
Some social media users offered to help Steve with things like a place to sleep, food, and clothing. Others went as far as setting up crowdfunding efforts to help him financially.
@itvnews@ohsomint (2) find this man to offer him a bed to sleep, food and clothes? I will personally pay for the stuff to help him out @itvnews??
Zürich may be the largest city in Switzerland, but it's still small enough to get to know in a weekend — and that’s just one reason you should bump it to the top of your must-visit list. There, you’ll find enough to do, see, taste, and explore to fill your days, and most sites are easily accessible via short walks or tourist-friendly public transport.
Awe-inspiring art? Try one of Zürich's many well-curated museums, modern galleries, or halls filled with centuries-old paintings. Daytime activities? If paddleboarding or paddleboating on a picturesque lake filled with wild swans doesn't do it for you, we don't know what will. Nightlife? An outdoor bar nestled in a freshwater bath is not to be missed. And food? Well, Zürich's only got the best. The best cheese. The best meat. The best chocolate. And loads of it.
Tour the city in one minute in the video above, and peep our must-hit spots below. If you end up hankering to become not just a visitor but a resident of this cozy mountain-and-lake-flanked town, you certainly won’t be the first.
To Eat & Drink:
Café Schober Two floors of ornate decor may make you think this restaurant is nothing more than an Instagram haven, but the decadent food and desserts are as tasty as they are beautiful. We recommend coming hungry for breakfast.
Kronenhalle There’s no better place to eat Switzerland's signature rösti, a potato-pancake-y dish that’s often served with veal. This classy and classic old-world restaurant boasts a legendary history among artists and philosophers.
Münsterhof Thanks to Switzerland's high standards for produce and food in general, you'd be hard-pressed to find a bad meal in Zürich. But for one that’s particularly satisfying, fresh, light, and delicious, we recommend the modern Münsterhof, situated in a rustic building in the centre of the city.
Café Sprüngli Chocolate is the name of the game in Switzerland, and Café Sprüngli is in it to win it. Try the signature macaroons, truffles, or fruit-topped treats for an after-lunch pick-me-up.
John Baker Baker. It's right there in the name. Here, you'll find some of the best bread and other baked goods in town. Come early for the ultimate freshness.
George Bar & Grill This swanky, well-designed room with a view nods to the late '60s and '70s — you can imagine businessmen coming to George for a cigar and a stiff drink. Try the indulgent surf-and-turf and the apple-pie-flavoured cocktail.
Modissa Rooftop We've always dreamed of a place where we could shop all day, then pop up to a bumpin' rooftop for out-of-this-world drinks and light bites. Well, it exists in Zürich, right on the bustling Bahnhofstrasse. Come for the sunset, stay for cotton-candy-clad cocktails.
Widder Garage Attached to a fancy and thoughtfully designed hotel, Widder Garage is home to an impressive collection of records that you can bet a great DJ will have on rotation every night of the week. Even cooler? The bar is filled with old pianos, making it an all-the-more memorable after-work or date-night spot.
Gonzo Club At the super-popular, part-punk, part-speakeasy Gonzo Club, you'll find Swiss coeds ready to dance it out any night of the week. Heads up: Wednesday is hip-hop night.
Fat Tony A new late-night pizza spot and garden by the owners of Gonzo Club (located downstairs), Fat Tony promises a tasty end to any night out.
Seebad Enge Any sort of lakeside hangout gets our vote of approval. Start with some R & R, and proceed to the welcoming dock bar.
Frau Gerolds Garten If we lived in Zürich, we'd come to this relaxed BBQ spot and bar all the damn time. Constructed out of shipping containers and filled with plants and kitschy furniture galore, it seems straight out of Harriet the Spy …except with a wide selection of local beers.
Clouds With its panoramic city views, small pizzas, and local beers, Clouds is a beautiful place to come for a drink with a date or family alike.
Les Halles Located in the back of a gourmet market with order-at-the-bar service and rustic interiors, Les Halles is a locally beloved restaurant that specialises in mussels. It's truly not to be missed.
Dante At Dante, polished interiors are matched by pastel-purple and bright-pink drinks. Impress anyone by choosing to meet at this upscale cocktail bar; it’s an indulgence you won't soon forget.
Rimini A daytime swimming hole becomes a nighttime watering hole with picnic tables to gather 'round into the wee hours.
To See & Do:
Kunsthaus Art- and history-lovers should pass a lovely afternoon at Kunsthaus, which houses one of the most important collections in Switzerland.
Landesmuseum Take an interactive walk through Swiss history, and marvel at the technology used at this historical museum with futuristic flair.
FIFA Museum Say what you will about FIFA, but this museum's appeal is undeniable. Not only can you glance at the actual golden trophy, but you can also hone your skills on the soccer version of a mini-golf course located on the top floor.
Migros Museum Get your culture on with cutting-edge, rotating installations at this modern-art museum across from a viaduct-cum-shopping centre.
Viadukt Shopping Lose an afternoon, gain some delicious foods and local wares. Under the Viadukt, you'll find tourist-friendly but locally beloved eateries and stores chock full of threads and trinkets.
Uetliberg A scenic overlook with the option for adventure, Uetliberg is well-known for its mountain-biking course and active-workout circuit situated right alongside the Swiss hills.
Zürich Zoologischer Garten "Let's go to the zoo!" is always a fun suggestion, especially when it comes to Zürich's top-of-the-line facility. Don't leave without seeing the elephants, whom, if you’re lucky, you can catch swimming.
Freitag Flagship Store & Tower The cult-favourite Freitag bag has become synonymous with recycled fashion, but in Zürich, it’s the local flagship that has us swooning. The store is built out of shipping containers, culminating in an observation deck up top.
Hauptbahnhof The largest train station in Zürich is also home to some of the easiest shopping. Stop by to run errands or pick up a snack underground.
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