This is it, folks. Summer is on the horizon. The skies are blue, the bank holiday is here, we've got a gin & tonic in hand, and we've booked our flights. After-work drinks are more frequent, we're walking to the office and we've pinned our festival tickets to the fridge. We'd say we have summer well and truly tied up this year.
You'll have noticed some key trends come out of SS17: gingham, statement sleeves, fuchsia and red, blazers, maximalist shoes... and yet when the weather changes so abruptly, we're often unsure how to style our key pieces. When in doubt? Instagram. A quick scroll through our feeds for sartorial inspiration and we're ready to hit the park – best mule first – with friends, a bottle of prosecco and some speakers.
Click through to see how your favourite turned-out women are tackling spring dressing, from light layering to rainbow brights.
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Many people assume their twenties is when they should be having the most mindblowing, adventurous sex of their lives. With fewer responsibilities and often no kids to look after, they’re some of our most carefree years. But if the reality of your sex life doesn’t quite match up to this ideal, don’t fret – the most fulfilling, sexiest sex of your life could still be to come, a new study suggests. Thank god for that.
Women actually have the best sex of their lives at age 36 and above, according to a survey of more than 2,600 women, commissioned by natural contraception app Natural Cycles.
Women were quizzed about their experience of orgasms, how attractive they felt and their enjoyment of sex. Their responses were then broken down into three age groups – under 23s, those aged 23-35 and those ages 36 and over.
Women over 36 reported having the best sex – 86% said they’d had enjoyable sex in the last four weeks, compared with 76% of the middle group and 56% of the youngest group. (Another recent survey of women aged 30 to 80 suggested it could get even better once women hit middle age, as it was the youngest group, 30 to 44-year-olds, that reported having the least satisfying sex.)
The older group was generally a lot happier with themselves, likely making it easier for them to enjoy sex. They were the most confident in their own skin, with 80% saying they felt sexy. By contrast, just 40% of the middle group felt attractive and 70% of the under 23s said the same.
Orgasms were also better and more frequent for those over 36, with nearly 60% saying they had the most enjoyable and greatest number of orgasms, compared with half of the women in the other age groups.
When asked how often they had sex, just under a third did the deed twice a week, just over a fifth did it three times a week and under a fifth had sex once a week.
The women were also asked how long they thought sex should last. A third wanted it to last longer, while a tenth felt it should be over quicker. (A recent survey suggested the average British couple's sex session lasts just 19 minutes.)
Hey, even if we never end up owning our homes, holding down stable employment or having any savings, at least we've got some decent sex to look forward to.
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Millennials are rewriting the rulebook when it comes to engagement rings. These days, they don’t feel the need to blow three months’ salary on them (thank god), and it’s not unusual to opt for coloured stones such as rubies, emeralds and sapphires rather than traditional diamonds.
So, it's perhaps not surprising that the most-saved engagement ring on Pinterest – where many brides-to-be (and bored singletons, ahem) go for wedding #inspo – has a trendy, modern twist.
The visual bookmarking site's most popular ring has been saved 103,900 times on the site, making it the most popular, MailOnline reported. The stunning piece of jewellery, which was custom-made for its owner, Sylvia Billone, is rose gold and Art Deco in style.
With its classic solitaire and thin rose gold band, it's both elegant in a traditional sense and stylish. See for yourselves.
"The solitaire ring is 1.22 karats with a two-millimeter-width rose gold band," said Billone, who, understandably, didn't reveal how much it had cost.
She had it custom-made after being inspired by other images she saw on Pinterest (as dedicated pinners will know, rose gold is rife on the site).
The most popular engagement ring on the site last year was the 'Verragio Venetian' ring, designed by American jewellers Raymond Lee and pinned more than 63,000 times. It featured a main princess-cut diamond, an 18-karat white gold band and an elaborate, lacy design.
Will a more affordable alternative, perhaps with a coloured stone, come up trumps next year? Here's hoping.
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Katie Hopkins, the former Apprentice candidate who has offended just about every section of the British population at some point or other, got fired this morning. A comment she made in light of the Manchester attack proved too much for radio station LBC, where she had a show, and they decided to get rid of her immediately. Hoorah!
In a now-deleted tweet, she wrote: "22 dead - number rising. Schofield. Don't you even dare. Do not be a part of the problem. We need a final solution #Machester." Not only did she spell Manchester incorrectly, but the use of "final solution" seemed to be a call for genocide and was presumed to be a reference to the Nazi genocide of millions of Jews in the Second World War.
LBC and Katie Hopkins have agreed that Katie will leave LBC effective immediately.
So, as you can imagine, many people – us included – are overjoyed that the nasty hatemonger has finally got her comeuppance. Even her colleagues at LBC apparently erupted into applause.
#KatieHopkins has been one of the UK's top trending topics on Twitter since the news was announced – #SuggestNewJobsForHopkins also just started trending – and the tweets are golden. Here are some of the best we've seen.
Over a month after initial reports about concentration camp-like conditions in Chechnya, a new report from Human Rights Watch released on Friday indicates that top Chechen government officials have had a hand in the mass anti-LGBTQ purge that has reportedly seen hundreds of gay and bisexual men detained, tortured, and even killed.
The report, based on interviews with dozens of torture victims, journalists, and activists, implicates Chechen leader Ramzan Kadyrov for the "unprecedented" crackdown, and claims that the purge began as early as February. According to HRW, the purge follows Kadyrov's playbook for dealing with "undesirable" groups, such as drunk drivers, drug users, and political dissidents.
The Chechen law enforcement and security officials allegedly began rounding up gay and bisexual men or even those thought to be gay in February, starting with a man who police picked up for being "under the influence of a euphoria-inducing controlled substance." After going through his phone, police determined he was gay, and identified other gay men based on what they found as well as information that the man gave while under torture.
This information then reportedly traveled up to Magomed Daudov, speaker of the Chechen parliament, widely considered Kadyrov's second-in-command.
"Most of the former detainees interviewed by Human Rights Watch reported hearing the police who held and abused them refer to Daudov and to orders he allegedly issued about violence against gay men," the report says. Three of the interviewees also said they saw Daudov at detention sites, watching as police carried out beatings.
While homophobia has run rampant in Chechnya for years, HRW said in the report, it cannot explain the government's involvement in the anti-LGBTQ purge.
"People still carry out, or threaten to carry out, 'honour killings' to 'cleanse' perceived stains to their family’s honour, including against young women suspected of promiscuity and family members who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender," the report says. "However, longstanding societal homophobia does not explain the 2017 anti-gay purge. Rather it was ordered and conducted by officials in Chechnya."
Meanwhile, the Russian LGBT Network has been advocating for an end to the camps, and earlier this month helped to evacuate 40 men from Chechnya. According to a report from BuzzFeed, at least nine men who escaped detainment have managed to obtain visas and find new homes, though the situation remains dire for those who are still in the country.
Like a latent illness, The Handmaid’s Tale was introduced to the general public in 1986, but has been waiting until 2017 to blossom to its full potency. As with all effective science fiction, the novel's imagined future provides a lens through which we can reconsider our present. And through the distorted, misogynistic looking glass of The Handmaid’s Tale, our present isn’t looking too pretty.
The dystopian novel, written by the incomparable, prolific Margaret Atwood, envisions an America utterly altered by a religious coup. Offred, once a woman with a husband and child, now works as a handmaid: someone who bears the children of high-ranking officials. As Offred navigates the new social order in the Republic of Gilead, which pits women against women and executes any dissidents, she desperately fights to hold on to the woman she was before.
There are no hard feelings between exes Diane Kruger and Joshua Jackson. Today the 38-year-old actor placed his support for his ex on public display in a sweet Instagram post.
“Yes she Cannes,” Jackson wrote. “Having witnessed the integrity and dedication that you bring to every job, I’m over the moon to see you getting the recognition you deserve. Only question is what took ‘em so long! CONGRATULATIONS, Josh #dianekruger”
The fact that Jackson even included his exes' name as a hashtag in the caption proves the support is real, at least when it comes to expressing feels on social media. Ex-bae wants any and everyone searching Kruger’s name on Instagram to know about his old love’s victory at Cannes; yes his ex Cannes and yes she did. Kruger was recognized for her work for InThe Fade, a performance which has received numerous favorable reviews since its release this month. As Variety noted, the 40-year-old actress gave a “powerhouse” portrayal of a “woman seeking justice following the neo-Nazi murder of her husband.”
After dating for a decade, Jackson and Kruger called it quits in the summer of last year. Despite the relationship fizzling out the two haven’t publicly shied away from acknowledging one another at events or from discussing the challenges of their post-relationship lives. “Things have changed a little bit since last time I was single," Jackson admitted on The Ellen DeGeneres Show in December.
"There's no more talking to people anymore. You talk to somebody, and they're like, 'Ugh! No, no, no, no, no! We don't do that anymore,'" he explained to the host. "So, yeah, it's been quite a big change."
While he may not be acclimated to the text-only, conversation-lite culture of modern courtship, dating is still like riding a bike. Jackson was spotted a month later, making out with a mystery woman in January. Meanwhile, Kruger has been linked to The Walking Deadstar Norman Reedus.
Whatever the relationship status between the two exes, one thing is for sure, having a supportive ex is a Hollywood trend we can get behind.
Today, a movie about a lounge singer who is forced to take on the identity of a nun under witness protection sounds too ridiculous to be any good. But 25 years ago, it was the stuff that blockbuster hits were made of. On the 29th of May, 1992, Sister Act was released in cinemas and became one of that year’s highest grossing films, and cult classic for ‘80s babies and their parents.
A 36-year-old Whoopi Goldberg led the cast as Sister Mary Clarence, a fake nun whose real name is Deloris Wilson and who performs under the name Van Cartier. Deloris witnesses a murder committed by her boyfriend, and must go into hiding until she can testify against him in court. She joins a convent in San Francisco, where she isn’t allowed to indulge the habits that a woman who spends her time in lounges with mobsters might enjoy. To keep her out of trouble, the church leaders insist she join the dull choir, and she promptly turns their drab gospel hymns to pop-rock odes to Jesus, until the bad guys inevitably show up.
If this sounds laughable, you’re onto something. Sister Act is a hilarious musical comedy. And you can believe that my friends and I knew every word to every song in the movie. It worked as a family-friendly film because it is sing-songy enough for kids but just raunchy enough for adults to enjoy it as well. This probably explains the $231 million (£180 million) it grossed worldwide. It was also remade into a musical that eventually made its way to Broadway.
With Goldberg, a Black woman, at the helm of the film, it was an important moment of representation and diversity. With a mostly white cast, she shone brightly as the film’s protagonist. Sister Act no doubt helped define Whoopi Goldberg’s golden years. Following the success of classics like The Color Purple(1985) and Ghost(1990), Goldberg continued to prove that she can do it all with Sister Act. The reverence many of us had for the actress has certainly waned since she became one of the hosts of U.S. daytime show The View. She has used the platform to defend rapist Roman Polanski, come to the defence of Mel Gibson after his racist rants, and reassure Tiffany Trump that she would sit next to her when no one else at Fashion Week would. I wouldn’t even call her a problematic fave, just problematic.
However, that doesn’t take away from the musical glory that is Sister Act. And even though everyone knows that the sequel — Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, with Lauryn Hill and way more Black people — is better, I am still thankful to my mother for buying this film on VHS.
Piers Morgan has reminded us all, once again, that he is the absolute worst. The Good Morning Britain post went on a vile Twitter tirade against Ariana Grande following the terrorist attack that killed 22 people at her concert in Manchester on the 22nd of May.
It began when Katy Perry shared an article about the Queen visiting victims of the attack in the hospital, tweeting, "God bless The Queen and her kind heart." Morgan responded, "Agreed. Might have been nice if @ArianaGrande had stayed to do the same."
Immediately, people rushed to the defence of Grande, who flew home to Florida to be with boyfriend Mac Miller and her family after the bombing, for which ISIS has claimed responsibility. "She's probably traumatised herself you fucking idiot!" someone responded. "Probably not as much as those killed & wounded. She should have stayed to visit her injured fans," Morgan shot back. When asked how he would've handled it, he tweeted, "I can 100% guarantee you I would stay & visit those who had been killed or wounded watching me perform." Seeing as how Morgan has never been in the position of seeing dozens of fans killed and injured while attending your show, he can't have any idea how he'd react in this horrible situation. To judge and shame Grande for her response to the tragedy is almost incomprehensible.
Morgan continued to slam the 23-year-old, who has suspended the rest of her tour, and reportedly offered to pay for the the funerals of the fans that lost their lives. "I expected her to stay, visit & comfort her wounded fans & relatives of those who died," he tweeted. "Because it struck me as odd that the Queen would visit the wounded fans & not the star who they had paid to watch," Morgan continued. "If the Queen can visit the victims in hospital, so can the star they paid to see." He added, "It was her show & they are her fans." Which doesn't make her obligated in any way to handle the situation the way Morgan would like her to. She will process the grief and trauma in her own way.
Grande's defenders pointed out that Grande too has been traumatised by the experience, and is likely in part blaming herself for the tragedy. "She's distraught over the death of 22 of her fans, and now she might see that tweet from Piers and feel like her guilt is validated," someone wrote. Another reasoned, "Like all the other innocent people who were caught up in this sick act of terror I would imagine she wanted to go home to her family." Yet another critic of Morgan tweeted, "Take a step back and ask yourself 'Does this traumatised girl need me to harass her?', if your answer is yes, your moral compass is warped."
Just like every single soul at that concert, Grande deserves the opportunity to process the grief and trauma in her own way and her own time. For Piers Morgan to be using such a terrible event as a means of slamming a young pop star is sickening. He could use a lot less judgement and a lot more empathy right now.
@piersmorgan@ArianaGrande Take a step back and ask yourself 'Does this traumatised girl need me to harass her?', if your answer is yes, your moral compass is warped.
Take That had been due to play three homecoming shows at Manchester Arena this week, but these were obviously cancelled in the wake of Monday night's terrorist attack at the venue. The pop trio resumed their tour in Liverpool last night, and took the opportunity to pay tribute to the people of Manchester, the BBC reports.
"As you know, I was born and raised in Manchester, so at this moment in time, I’ve never been so proud to be a Mancunian," band member Howard Donald told the crowd, praising the city's defiant and unified response to the atrocity.
Donald's bandmate Mark Owen dedicated the Liverpool concert to "everyone who has been affected by the events that happened in Manchester," before announcing that the band would be donating all profits from the gig to the We Love Manchester emergency fund. Heartwarmingly, the British Red Cross said yesterday that people have now donated a staggering £5 million to the fund.
The group's third member, Gary Barlow, said the Liverpool show was about people coming together, "stronger than ever."
Meanwhile, Take That have announced a new Manchester concert at the Etihad Stadium on the 18th of June to make up for this week's cancelled arena shows.
Yesterday, Ariana Grande issued a statement in response to the horrific attack after her Manchester Arena show on Monday night. Pledging to return to the city to give a benefit concert, the singer said of the 22 people killed in the atrocity: "They will be on my mind and in my heart everyday and I will think of them with everything I do for the rest of my life."
The Jonas Brothers have been spending more time at home, and it's for a very good reason. After their dad, Kevin Jonas, Sr. was diagnosed with colon cancer in March, his sons reportedly dropped everything to be with him.
In an interview with NBC Charlotte, Kevin, Sr. — his first since being diagnosed — said that his youngest son "Frankie came home from school, Nick came from L.A., Joe flew directly from Japan." The oldest JoBro Kevin, who no longer performs but is working in real estate development, lives in New Jersey with his wife Danielle and their two daughters, Valentina and Alena. "They canceled their schedules," Kevin, Sr. said, "moved important things."
They did so they could be with their dad while he underwent surgery at Sloane Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in New York City. “They stayed with us, last meal before surgery,” Kevin, Sr. said. “They walked me into Sloan Kettering, which created a little bit of a stir.”
No surprise some of the staff was a little shook to see the JoBros all together. The Jonas' mom, Denise told NBC Charlotte she's become used to fans freaking out over seeing her with her famous sons. “People are like, ‘are you related to the Jonas brothers?’” Denise Jonas said with a laugh. “They’re related to me and they’re my children. The first reaction is they don’t believe me.”
What didn't cause a bit of a stir, was the 52-year-old dad's diagnosis which the family decided to keep secret until now. Impressive, knowing how famous the brothers are. As of now, none of the brothers have publicly commented on their dad's health. Kevin, Sr. told NBC Charlotte that he still has to undergo chemotherapy, but his prognosis is good.
Raise your hand if you've ever clicked into a makeup tutorial only to think, "Well, that's insane." We feel you. Because as much as we love makeup, not all of us want to wear a neon cut crease or a rainbow smoky eye. As for the more-natural how-to's out there, even if they're soft and flattering, they often come with approximately 167 steps and require dozens of products, leaving many of us clicking out with one hand, and scratching our head with the other.
That's why we created a collection of everyday makeup looks that you'll want to actually wear —without spending an hour dutifully crafting a complicated contour. But, as always, these makeup tutorials are merely inspiration — if you want to top these off with a little glitter or coloured liner, you do you. Think of them as your foolproof, everyday base.
Ahead, check out a few of our favourite ways to master a new go-to makeup look.
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Netflix's true crime docu-series, The Keepers, gets a lot of things right. Unlike many others in the genre, the series puts the focus on the victims rather than their perpetrators. Often, in the allure of a compelling storyline, the victims can be overshadowed. The riveting docu-series is being praised for choosing to focus on the victims and those in the community relentlessly pursuing justice not only for themselves but for everyone involved whether they came forward or not.
The tragic reality is that reporting a sex crime is more difficult than it needs to be. The trauma and subsequent coping are unimaginably difficult for anyone that hasn't experienced it themselves. Throughout the series, there is a prevalent theme of needing more victims to come forward in order to believe a single one.
Another theme that is common not only in The Keepers but many true crime series is the overbearingly bureaucratic system in place that can make real change take decades. The question of how many victims could have been spared had better systems for reporting been in place calls attention to the pervading nature of this problem.
The Baltimore Police Department also had a response to the show. This one, however, is a lot more helpful. They created an online form for sexual-assault survivors to report abuse related to the documentary.
In a statement to the Baltimore Sun, a police spokesman said, "People have since come forward [after] watching this documentary. They were victims of sex offences that went unreported back then." Though hee declined to share how many people called, the spokesman explained that the new online form is for the purpose of informing detectives in the hopes of making it easier for survivors to report sex crimes and share their stories.
For those who have not yet seen The Keepers(spoilers ahead), the seven-part series begins by investigating the disappearance and murder of Sister Cathy Cesnik, a 26-year-old nun and high school teacher who went missing in Baltimore in 1969. Without further leads, her case soon goes cold. That is until new information becomes public in the early '90s. What comes to light in the process is nothing short of shocking — appalling and heartbreaking accusations of systematic sexual abuse at Archbishop Keough High School in Baltimore, Maryland through the 1960s and '70s. The same school where Sister Cathy Cesnik was a teacher.
Not everyone mentioned in the series has responded positively. In a Reddit AMA, shorthand for Ask Me Anything, with the series director Ryan White, an official group set in place to oversee the Catholic church in the Baltimore area, known as the Archdiocese, made an appearance. As most of the questions were related to their involvement, the group had this to say:
"Archdiocesan records related to Maskell are confidential, and Archdiocesan policy and state law would preclude us from disclosing much of the information in them as they include confidential personal information (e.g. names of alleged sexual abuse victims), personnel records, health records, attorney-client communications, personally identifying information (such as social security numbers), etc."
Their portrayal in the Netflix series is not a positive one. They declined to have anyone make an appearance on their behalf for the series. Victims relayed their disbelief at the actions of the Archdiocese repeatedly. Accusations were made of cover-ups and bribery to protect the perpetrators over the course of decades.
If you have experienced sexual violence of any kind, please visitRape Crisisor call 0808 802 9999.
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Season 2 of 13 Reasons Why hasn't even begun filming, but we can't resist reading every scrap of news about the series. Luckily, executive producer Selena Gomez chatted with Seattle's Movin' 92.5 radio station, and she gave us some more insights into what she knows about the next season.
First up, she's been hanging out in the writer's room — which is where all the good stuff goes down. The way she makes it sound, it seems that the story is already loaded with drama. "I was in the writers' room the other day and they're working so hard and it's going to come together," Gomez said. "I was sitting there at the table, like, 'Wait, what happened?!' Almost like freaking out." If Selena's freaking out, then we cannot wait to hear why.
While, for obvious reasons, we don't know any plot spoilers, there's a lot of information about the structure of Season 2. We already know that it will contain multiple perspectives and that Hannah won't be the primary narrator. We also know that there will be new characters based on the show's casting call.
The biggest clue that Selena dropped is a subtle one: she described Season 2 as a resolution, explaining that "... I think for season 2, we elaborate more on some of those questions and the stories and the resolution if you will of what some of these kids have gone through so—and are going through." Resolution implies that storylines may come together at a final point, especially when we consider the showrunner's hint that "Bryce (Justin Prentice) will get hopefully get what's coming to him." Obviously, it's too early to speculate of Season 2 will be the swan song of 13 Reasons Why, but given that we can expect to see lots of things resolved, it just may be the last season of the popular Netflix show.
When my son was a baby, a friend with a kid of similar age casually dropped into conversation, "Grandparents don’t actually have automatic legal rights to see their grandchildren, you know". When I asked her how she knew, she replied, "It came up on Google". Err, when you googled it, then? Another pal offered to lend me one of her self-help books about dealing with mothers-in-law, to which I replied, "There’s more than one?" Meanwhile another mum friend doesn’t even ask how I am before asking, "What’s Julie [not my MIL’s real name] saying now?" eagerly anticipating a good LOL. Another who’s about five months pregnant with her first baby reported her MIL dropping off several boxes of baby clothes that she’d been keeping in the cupboard, although the intervening 30 years had not been kind in terms of smell or aesthetics. There’s a pretty clear pattern here.
In some ways, the hardest part of having a baby is not giving birth or looking after it; it’s redrawing all of your relationship boundaries, like the Yalta Conference after the Second World War. With your partner, your boss, your own parents and siblings and, if they’re around, your partner’s parents. Before you have a kid, you think about your in-laws maybe a couple of times a year (while panic-buying generic Christmas presents) then, as soon as you reproduce, or even announce that you're pregnant, BOOM – there they are. And you can never get rid of them.
The rift with mine started when they arrived at the hospital so soon after the birth that staff hadn’t yet cleaned the bloodstains from the floor, weighed down with huge bags of gifts for the baby and not so much as a biscuit for me. Who visits hospital without food? I fumed, so angry I couldn’t actually look at my mother-in-law – a loud character who proceeded to squeal with excitement over my hours-old infant before passing him back, covered in lipstick and reeking of perfume. The memory of that invasion is still vivid enough to make me bristle. But it was forgivable compared to what happened next. My partner had informed both sets of parents that our son had been born safely and when both sides asked to visit, we asked them to wait a day so I could rest after an all-night labour. While my own parents respected this, MIL pushily insisted they come anyway, so I asked my partner to ask them to be discreet and not tell my parents they had beaten them to it. My husband either forgot or didn’t feel comfortable passing this on and no sooner were they in the car home, than MIL rang my mum to boast. Understandably, my mum was hurt, although she tried to pretend she wasn’t. I was livid.
Even if you enjoy a good relationship with your in-laws (or have a saintly disposition), for some reason adding a baby into the mix can bring out tensions. If there’s already a personality clash, birth can really light the fuse for an explosion. There’s something about the word ‘grandparent’ that feels possessive and competitive where 'auntie' and 'uncle' don’t. Talk of "MY grandchild" can be enough to rile you and, even though you thought you wouldn’t, suddenly you’re patrolling your territory with bared teeth, like an irritable lioness. Now, my own mother can be overbearing when it comes to my son, yet a) you know your own parents’ approach to childrearing, and b) it’s somehow easier to tell them to piss off if necessary.
According to my focus group, the main MIL crimes are demanding to see you all the time – especially on weekends when you just want to spend time with your partner and not get properly dressed – and bringing round mountains of baby stuff, either covered in questionable stains from decades ago or new but not to your taste. Then there’s the charming habit of totally ignoring you or picking up the baby without asking. I remember Julie telling me that one of her neighbours (who I’d never met) had got a present for the baby so she had promised her a cuddle with him next time we came round. "You can’t pimp out my baby like taking turns on the school hamster!" I spluttered, genuinely horrified. And don't forget the comments, ranging from helpful unsolicited suggestions for how to get the baby to take the breast (or why they are or aren’t having a bottle, or dummy, etc.) to what they did back in the day to get them to sleep and other handy hints, none of which you want to hear. You have to bear in mind they’re trying to help and are desperate to pass on their wisdom, but no one likes a lecture and anyway, baby-care advice has changed over the years.
But let’s face it, none of the above is really THAT bad and as the factors making me so oversensitive – sleep deprivation and mad breastfeeding hormones – receded, things improved. There are always new battlegrounds, though. A neighbour’s MIL gave her toddler’s afro a drastic trim without asking. "She said it was because his hair was matted but I know it’s because she thought it was starting to look too girly" she explained. Multiple friends complain of grandparents hyping up their kids at bedtime, ignoring nap routines or feeding them chocolate and other junk, leaving the parents to cope with a crazed child or appearing uptight if they ask them not to.
Weaning and stopping breastfeeding were milestones for me, at which point my husband could take the baby to his parents without me needing to be around. And I hardly need point out that full-on babysitting comes in very handy. In hindsight, another tip is to always involve your partner, even (or particularly) if they're reluctant. Certain guys are happy to pretend it’s nothing to do with them but, really, they should be the conduit for all discussions.
"Bite your tongue" advised my neighbour with the shorn-haired toddler. "Most of the time arguing doesn’t work – it’s upsetting and they don’t listen anyway." I would add that it’s okay to pick a few battles that are going to be ongoing. My cousin and I both tackled the issue of our respective MILs buying our kids clothes – just telling them which brands and styles we prefer while still allowing them the freedom to choose which items. I was surprised to find it worked and Julie swapped Debenhams for more unisex, online labels. If you can find a few areas of common ground then I’ve found it goes a long way to helping you relax when they start saying and doing things that would otherwise really wind you up.
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Every year, thousands of women in the UK find themselves in need of donor sperm. Many are in heterosexual relationships with men and are having fertility issues but a rising number are lesbian couples or women who, not having found the right partner, decide to go it alone.
Take Mika Bishop, for example. She was 43 and single when she conceived her twin boys via artificial insemination with donor sperm. “I’d always assumed I’d have children and when I was much much younger, I imagined having four kids and a busy, lively household,” she says. “As I approached 40, I began to doubt ever having one, let alone four children. So I began to look into ways of having a child by myself. Being able to do so with donor sperm insemination meant the world and more to me.”
For women like Mika, it’s getting harder and harder to obtain the donor sperm they need. The UK is facing a serious shortage of sperm. And to make matters worse, as we reported last year, the country’s National Sperm Bank – the organisation set up to deal with the shortage – closed after just two years, with only seven donors to its name. So where are we getting it from instead? According to the most recent data from the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), donations in licensed UK clinics using sperm imported from abroad are on the up, with most coming from the US and Denmark.
For prospective parents looking for donor sperm, this is an issue. Not because there’s anything intrinsically special about UK sperm but because of how rigorous the law is here. The law which is aimed at protecting the health and rights of donors, parents and children born by donation. 32-year-old Kristin's baby daughter was conceived through IVF by implanting her egg and donor sperm in her wife Gabby’s womb; Kristin also donated some of her eggs to a clinic for another couple to use. As she explains: “In the UK they’re much stricter with the medical testing than in some countries.”
What’s more, sperm from one donor can only be used by up to 10 families, Kristin explains. “We wanted to be able to tell my daughter she doesn’t have millions of brothers and sisters. You’d worry about them meeting up at some point without realising. I watched a documentary about half siblings who met at uni and had an attraction to each other because they shared the same genetic bond. It was so difficult for them, they couldn’t get past that.”
Mika had different reasons for choosing a UK donor: “I started searching for sperm in banks in America and Europe but with so much choice I began to think I could be searching for months and months or that I’d never make a decision. It was also partly because I wanted the logistics of the boys meeting the donor – if they choose to when they’re 18 – to be as easy as possible.”
Since 2005, the law says that sperm donors in the UK must agree that any children born from their donations can contact them when they turn 18 – although they don’t provide a photograph. This was another plus for Kristin, who felt this might impact how she and Gabby felt as parents. “If you see a photo, that face implants in your brain and instead of seeing yourself, you’d notice how they looked like the donor. You can’t help it, it’s such an automatic response.”
Sperm in this country doesn’t come cheap, meaning that some women choose to look for alternative ways of obtaining it. Private clinics generally charge between £500 and £1,000 and even the NHS-run National Sperm Bank – before it closed – planned to charge £300 for sperm.
However, other women choose to ask a friend, buy sperm on Facebook, Gumtree or elsewhere online, or use an app such as Just A Baby, which matches people who want to have kids with potential donors, Tinder-style.
The HFEA strongly recommends only using sperm that has come through a licensed UK clinic, partly because, as Kristin mentioned, you’re guaranteed that it’s met certain standards in terms of health checks and quality, but also because going through the approved routes gives you the assurance that the donor isn’t legally the father of your child and can’t claim any paternity rights.
For this reason, licensed donation is particularly important to people starting a family. It also protects donors because it means that they don’t have any responsibility – financial or legal – to children born using their sperm.
So what makes a man decide to become a donor? Recently, I was scrolling through the baby snaps and political rants that populate my Facebook feed and one post caught my eye. “I’m officially a sperm donor now and just wrote a goodwill letter to my future 18-year-old child whom I wouldn’t know #weird” wrote my friend Zak. I asked him why he did it. “I was doing Dry January and I was bored at work so I just applied – it seemed like something interesting to do,” he tells me. “I’d been thinking about it for a while actually – it’s a way to help people.”
Zak certainly wasn’t doing it for the money. In the UK, there’s a limit on how much donors can be paid – £35 per session. Of this, Zak receives half after the session and the rest once he’s completed the full programme of 20-25 sessions and his sperm donations have been cleared for use. That can take up to a year so it’s a big commitment. Kristin believes that the low compensation could be why there are so few donors in this country. “These big companies could afford to pay more for the donation,” she says. “It’s expensive [to buy] – £750 and that’s just for one shot of sperm.”
In the US there are basically no regulations about sperm donation, only guidelines, and no cap on how much money donors can receive. At California Cryobank, for example, donors earn up to $1,500 a month. But as the National Sperm Bank’s then-chief executive Laura Witjens explained in a 2015 interview with The Guardian, treating donation like a job opportunity is risky: “We might get more donors if we paid £50 or £100 per donation. But money corrupts. If you feel you can make £200 a week for four months, you might hide things about your health.”
“Clever advertising and press coverage could also work to encourage more donors,” Mika says. Zak agrees, noting that he’s never seen an advert on public transport for sperm donation, whereas there are tons aimed at women looking to conceive. “Maybe you could market it by appealing to men’s egos?” says Kristin. “When I was chosen as a donor I felt like a superhuman.” This has worked in Denmark, which, despite being a small country boasts a booming sperm industry, which is marketed as a source of pride – an invasion of “Viking babies ”.
Zak, now one session in, says, “It appealed to me that you get tested. You go through so many tests – urine, blood, sperm count – and it’s good to monitor all that.” He hasn’t finished his letter yet – he has until he completes the programme – but it’s something he’s thought about a lot. “It’s strange giving advice to someone who hasn’t even been born yet. It will probably end up being a bit like a self-help book, do what you want with your life, that kind of thing.” And what would he say to other men thinking about donating? “Most guys are doing it anyway so you might as well do it for a good cause!”
One thing is clear: we need more Zaks. Like Mika, Kristin always dreamed of being a mum. Going through the process from both sides – as both a parent and a donor – has given her a special perspective: “I think everyone has the right to have a child – that’s why donation is so important. IVF is an emotional rollercoaster – and it’s expensive. I do wonder sometimes about the children who could now be born from my eggs but if the parents are going to these lengths to conceive that child, I know that child is going to a good home, they’re going to be loved.”
Some names have been changed.
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There’s a lot of pressure to choose the right holiday these days. Whether you’ve got limited time off from work or are trying to stretch a tight budget, it can be difficult to zero in on the “perfect place” to visit — a location that has exactly what you’re craving, whether it’s an epic adventure, a smorgasbord of culinary experiences, or just some good ol' R & R.
So, how to choose? The key just may lie in your zodiac sun sign. We spoke with several seasoned astrologers, who gave us travel recommendations that reflect the unique preferences and personalities of each sign, from adventure-seeking Leo to luxe-loving Scorpio. Click ahead for major last-minute summer travel inspo — and when it comes time to plan your next trip, just look to the stars.
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Being a woman means that you don't have to do much during a night out for some men to feel like it's okay to act inappropriately towards you. And if you're a female bartender, that behaviour is only exacerbated by alcohol and the fact that part of your job description is being nice to customers.
But a bar in Exeter got fed up with how some of its male customers were sexually harassing its female bartender, so they created a sign to remind them that being courteous doesn't think what some men think it does. The sign starts, "Why the female cashier is being nice to you."
Option A: "She is uncontrollably sexually attracted to you. Option B: "Because that's literally her fucking job you cretin." Ding, ding, ding. As you might have guessed, option B is the correct one. No, dear drunk patron, she's not into you. She's just working. Now, please, pay for your beer and walk away.
The Beer Cellar shared a picture of the sign on Twitter, saying, "This is definitely our favourite sign in the bar. Also if dudes could stop trying to kiss our female bartender's hands that would be great."
This is definitely our favourite sign in the bar. Also if dudes could stop trying to kiss our female bartender's hands that would be great. pic.twitter.com/C1Lf8KNe1Q
— Beer Cellar Exeter (@BeerCellarExe) May 25, 2017
According to Mashable, Charlotte Mullin, an illustrator, created the sign. She told the outlet the inspiration behind it was her experience working in retail for about six years.
"You're obviously pressured to give A+ customer service, and loads of people would interpret common hospitality as romantic interest," she said.
"I wanted to make it clear that female staff are nice to you because they have to be!" added Mullin. "And, of course, most of us are decent human beings and would be nice to you anyway, but in no way does this mean we're dying for your dick."
As any woman that has worked in the service industry can tell you, truer words have never been spoken.
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Furniture shopping becomes much more complicated when you live in a space-challenged apartment. Product dimensions are obviously a major concern for any living space, but you're also forced to be a bit pickier about versatility in a small space: The more hidden functions or storage potential an item can bring, the better.
Ikea has this type of design down to a science. The Swedish home conglomerate has a massive inventory of convertible organisers, racks, and cabinets that will fit into even the teensiest shoebox apartment. Besides pulling double duty, it's cool-looking enough to pull off whatever interior statements your home is going for. Click through for our favourite all-stars that are capable of doing a lot with very little.
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Don't forget your helmet! This Monday, daredevil Mars faces off with play-it-safe Saturn, a rare and confusing dust-up that will pull us all in opposite directions. Energetic Mars is in Gemini, which can get us swept up in groupthink and make us prone to peer pressure. But, uh, maybe getting a fifth refill on the bottomless piña coladas (and letting friends Snapchat the whole thing) or blowing off a family barbecue to drive out of town with someone you just met is a little, er, much? Saturn's finger-wag cautions against extremes, especially if they could damage your reputation or relationships. Indulge responsibly. Anything destructive could come back to haunt you.
On Sunday, Mars bids Gemini farewell and flows into cosy, family-friendly Cancer until July 20. After a frenetic seven weeks, we can all settle down a little and even put down roots. But Mars can be a pot-stirrer, so look out for domestic discord. It might be time to send that toxic roommate off in a U-Haul or at least create new house rules. Cancer is the sign that rules women and with courageous Mars here, we'll see some powerful women stepping forward. Find female leaders and peers you want to support — or step up into a more prominent role yourself. The divine feminine is rising!
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