Jamie Denbo, who plays Ginsberg on the Netflix hit show Orange is the New Black, recently took to social media to blast a casting call that she deemed both sexist and ageist. In a rant that started on Twitter and then migrated to Facebook where there are no character limits, Denbo blasted a Hollywood that not only continually casts much-younger actresses to play the love interests of older men, but that actively discriminates against older actresses to do so.
"I was just informed that at the age of 43, I am TOO OLD to play the wife of a 57 year old," the OITNB actress tweeted on Wednesday. "Oh, the characters also have an 18-year-old daughter. I am TOO OLD to be the mother of an 18 year-old," she continued. "...this fucker wants to be TV married to a 38-year-old -- TOPS."
I was just informed that at the age of 43, I am TOO OLD to play the wife of a 57 year old.
After Denbo had been taken aback by the attention her tweets received, she posted a longer message on Facebook, according to a screenshot acquired by Entertainment Tonight. In it, she said, "I deliberately chose to not publish a personal blog post or a longer piece about it (there IS one sitting on my desktop) because I didn't want to completely blackball myself as an actor."
She also said that "there are WAY more important things to rage about in the world right now besides obvious and regular accounts of sexism (and ageism) in Hollywood." However, she says that the interaction with the casting agent "gob smacked" her, and was a blow to her ego.
Denbo is not the first actress to call out sexism and ageism in Hollywood's casting practices. Liv Tyler once said that, at age 38, she was a "second-class citizen" in Hollywood. In 2006, actress Geena Davis founded the Geena Davis Institute on Gender in Media to fight Hollywood sexism. Crazy Ex-Girlfriend star Rachel Bloom recently took to Instagram to share particularly egregious calls she'd come across, including one seeking a woman “to play a variety of attractive girls” and another looking for simply "pretty faces."
A post shared by Rachel Bloom (@racheldoesstuff) on
Rose McGowan has also been outspoken in calling out the sexism in casting and says she quit acting as a result of it. She even went so far as to tell The Hollywood Reporter that she "could care less" whether speaking out jeopardised her career. On an appearance on Chelsea Handler's self-titled talk show earlier this year, McGowan said, “Cause no waves. Don’t upset anybody. Don’t upset the status quo….If you’re in Hollywood and you’re an actress, don’t step out of line, little girl, because there’s another one right behind you.”
McGowan speaks from first-hand experience; in 2015, she was fired by her agent after taking to Twitter to call out a sexist casting call she received for an Adam Sandler project.
casting note that came w/script I got today. For real. name of male star rhymes with Madam Panhandler hahahaha I die pic.twitter.com/lCWGTV537t
Denbo ended her Facebook rant with "one little word of advice to the 'creators'" who might be reading: "Just make sure that whichever 30-something you cast is a SPECTACULAR actress, because don’t kid yourselves, she is gonna have to really work hard to make it look like she’s attracted to a 57-year-old."
Alexa Chung may have provided plenty of fashion inspiration for us with her own #OOTDs over the years, whether that involves dungarees, frilly tops, or Mary Janes. She’s also paired up with plenty of fashion brands over the years, from creating collections with AG to consulting for the likes of Superga and Marks & Spencer. But soon, her very own collection, called Alexachung, also might charm its way into your wardrobe.
We first heard about Chung’s line in July, though details about the official drop date or aesthetic were still sparse at that point. Now, we've got a bit more insight on what to expect from her forthcoming "see now, buy now" collection; it'll be revealed in London on May 30. Don't worry: If you're not in the UK, you can get in on the action via a livestream of the launch spectacle on the brand's site, Alexachung.com, which just launched today, as did the brand's social media.
So, yes, you'll still have a wait a few weeks to check out the threads, but for now, there's a short film teasing the collection. Dubbed Alexachung Dressage and directed by Lorin Askill with creative direction by Daniel Askill, it stars Chung in full riding regalia, riding a white horse. Yes, really. Why, exactly? The video is apparently a #TBT to Chung's own experience as she revisits "her carefree adolescence in an almost dreamlike equestrian fantasy," according to the press release. In Chung's own words, it's "a tongue-in-cheek celebration of the dedication, precision, skill and determination needed to develop and create something aesthetically pleasing, coupled with the feeling that you could spend endless amounts of time trying to create something that means a lot to you, hoping that some might appreciate it," she said in a statement. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I guess it’s supposed to be funny."
And while the horse, and Chung's prowess riding it, steal the show, if you look really closely, check out her blazer and shirt, which are both from her forthcoming line. (Consider watching in slow-mo or pausing a couple times for your best shot of catching 'em.) After the brand's inaugural drop later this month, forthcoming release dates of future drops will be announced on its social media and site. In the meantime, check out the below video to get a glimpse of the new logo for Chung's namesake brand (watch until the end or you'll miss it) and, of course, to watch the style star's equestrian skills in action.
Alexa Chung NFA (Shorter)
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For some people, sleep may be as elusive as a pair of brand-new Yeezys. But like anyone looking for those coveted kicks, sleep-deprived folk just need to know how to game the system. According to Elle Décor, getting some of that sweet slumber only takes a little bit of elbow grease.
Being that it's Elle Decor, however, the advice isn't related to shutting off your smartphone or adjusting your caffeine intake. Instead, the magazine enlisted feng shui expert Laura Cerrano for some spatial suggestions and found that one major — and very unexpected — thing could affect sleep quality. Cerrano's biggest bedroom suggestion? Making sure that there's the same amount of space on either side of the bed. That means not pushing the bed against a wall or having it closer to one wall than the other. Naturally, it's all about balance.
"This is symbolic of creating equal space for you and your partner," Cerrano told The Independent. She notes that it's not possible in every instance, especially when small spaces get involved, but even an inch of space can create an energy imbalance. Cerrano didn't mention whether or not this applies to single sleepers, but that's a different story.
Another major point of contention? Cerrano notes that it's important to be able to see the bedroom door from the bed, but to make sure that they're not completely aligned. It's another case of energy flow: "This allows the occupant to literally, energetically, and metaphorically see and feel who and what opportunities are approaching their life," she explains. The same goes for bathroom doors. Anyone lucky enough to have a bedroom with an attached bathroom should keep energy lines in mind. Keep those doors in the eye line, but don't line it all up.
If that sleepy time tea isn't cutting it and those ZZZs are getting scarce, Cerrano's suggestions can't hurt.
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With the growing number of award shows held each year, red carpet fashion can start to feel turnkey: Floor-length, sugary-sweet gowns, embellished bodycon with mid-waist cut-outs, and an array of dresses that look pretty, or sexy even, but aren't exactly the most boundary-pushing when it comes to trends, colours, or cuts.
But, similar to its sister event the MTV Video Music Awards, the MTV Movie & TV Awards' red carpet tends to deliver more eccentric looks. As a production that nominates the most popular blockbusters of the year, the celebrity roster is always packed with style experts — and while it doesn't have the same opulent black-tie dress code of The Oscars, that's kind of a good thing. This is where stars can really show off their own personal aesthetic.
In case you've been absent from the pop culture universe, the best dressed attendees ahead are mostly powerhouse teens, asserting themselves as smarter, more creative and, inarguably, more stylish than ever before. So, we're turning over this year's red carpet to 2017's Gen-Z. The future is in very good (and good-looking) hands.
Is that denim on the red carpet? Mary Eizabeth Winstead, we don't know where you've been hiding lately, but we're so here for this comeback look by Jonathan Simkahi.
Everyone knows a dress is made instantly better with pockets. This Fendi number has four. Basically, Amandla picked the best dress, ever. We're not worthy.
Debby Ryan is giving us a master class on how to make a casual outfit luxe, which is something that comes in-hand when you need to look good, but it's also pouring rain outside. Well played.
Hailee Steinfeld may want to be like most girls, but dressed in this lavender Fausto Puglisi mini, she's a step-above.
If 2017 has taught us anything, it's that Noah Cyrus isn't just Miley's lil' sis. Music success aside, the 17-year-old is quickly paving her way into Best Dressed territory. This silky Baja East suit is only made better by that custom Laura Basci bra top. Bonus points for walkable Stuart Weitzman heels.
Zendaya, Zendaya, Zendaya. We'd call out how stunning you look in this Zuhair Murad gown, but Rihanna may beat us to it.
There's a right way and a wrong way to do mermaid sequins. Yara Shahidi in head-to-toe Gucci is very, very right.
We're hoping Millie Bobby Brown is alluding to a guest appearance on next season's Westworld with the too-chic way she's pulling off these patent cowboy boots. (Oh, and who can ignore that Calvin Klein dress).
Tracee Ellis Ross honestly always looks like she's having the greatest time at any press event, ever. 10/10 for finding a patchwork Rosie Assoulin dress that goes perfectly with her sunny personality.
While we love Allison Williams' sequinned dress by Galia Lahav Haute Couture, we really can't stop thinking about how good blonde looks on her.
Bow. Down. This turtlenecked Emilio Pucci piece is better gilded than the MTV Movie & TV Award itself. Cookie is 100% applauding this one.
A leather jacket on the red carpet? Eh. A leather jacket and red leather joggers on the red carpet? So much yes. Thank you, Asia Kate Dillon.
Cara Delevingne's Saint Laurent mini dress reminds us that the newly-minted actress is a model (and, let's be honest, fashion icon) first, because those thigh-highs are the definition of off-duty style.
Inspiration alert! Jourdan Dunn's one-shouldered, high-waisted trouser pairing is the most wearable, trend-driven look on the carpet. We're planning on recreating this, ASAP.
There's something so simple about Emma Watson's one-sleeved, asymmetrical dress, which is probably why we love it so much. Plus, she's the reigning queen of choosing pieces that have just the right amount of edge. All we're wondering is: When can we borrow this one?
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MTV red carpets have historically been where stars go to bring their A-game. They can get weirder, bolder, and more political then they would at somewhere more demure like the Oscars. Which makes watching so much more fun for all of us.
2017 is no exception. Despite LA's out-of-character May weather, the celebrities did their thing at this year's MTV Movie & TV Awards. Even better, the looks are bold, but not questionable, meaning we have a whole arsenal of Pinterest inspiration on blue eyeshadow, our next haircut, and braided up dos. Click through the slides ahead for the styles we can't stop staring at.
Jourdan Dunn
The supermodel's voluminous curls (and those jumbo gold hoops) are giving us serious Studio 54 vibes.
Photo: Jason LaVeris/FilmMagic.
Cara Delevingne
A buzz cut is a free pass to go big in the makeup department, and Cara did just that with oxblood lips and futuristic winged eyes.
Photo: David Crotty/Patrick McMullan/Getty Images.
Up until now, it's been unclear if a Big Little Lies season 2 is happening. But it looks like we might have a clue. On Sunday, Reese Witherspoon posted a photo to Instagram of herself with her co-stars Laura Dern and Nicole Kidman. "Spending #SundayFunday with these ladies," she wrote.
That might not sound too promising in of itself, but then she added, "working on some new lies" with three monkey emoji that mean "see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil." Kidman's giving a thumbs up, and Witherspoon and Dern both have mischievous grins on their faces.
Nothing official's been announced yet, but Witherspoon has hinted at a second season multiple times. "One of the main questions everyone keeps asking us is is there going to be a season two," she said via Facebook Live in March. "We've been talking with the writer, and you guys should Facebook Liane Moriarty and tell her how much you want to see Big Little Lies 2. That would be good. She's thinking about ideas, and so we would love to hear ideas."
Moriarty, the author of the book the show's based on, told Sydney Morning Herald that HBO wanted to continue the story. Though she isn't planning to write another book, she did say she was helping the producers figure out what a second season would look like.
A few weeks later, Witherspoon told E! News she was also thinking about this. "Nicole [Kidman] and I just spoke [about doing a season 2] three days ago," she said. "We're talking to Liane Moriarty, who wrote the book, about how could these characters go on, what would happen? We definitely left it open-ended so there's a possibility there." From the looks of this photo, they're still hard at work brainstorming what's in store for Madeline, Renata, and Celeste.
Once you've picked out your class and go-to mat, your challenge is somehow to choose a pair of pants to wear for yoga.
Of course, you want them to be comfortable. But do you want bold colours or an edgy black-and-mesh combo? Are you looking for all the wicking, fancy seams, and key pockets you can get? Or are you after something more polished and brunch-worthy?
Seriously, these are some tough choices. But whether you're ready to master a headstand, take a few deep breaths in child's pose, or are just looking for something versatile, we've got you — and your legs — covered. Click through to find your next favourite pair. And check back as we continue to update this post with new faves!
The Solid Investment Ones
You know Lululemon is queen of the yoga world and these basic, second-skin leggings tick every box. They're high-waisted, the waistband doesn't dig in, they've got storage in the waistband for your card and, well, they look cool.
Leggings that look as good as these Oysho ones deserve more outings than your once-a-week yoga class. They'll become your weekend staple in and out of the gym, thanks mainly to that oh-so-high waist that is going to leave you feeling hugged around the middle. Perfect for yoga or a hangover.
Pama London are the new kids on the fast-growing green sportswear market. Their yoga clothes are made from recycled charcoal bamboo fabric. Bamboo is one of the most sustainable resources in the world; it’s also the fastest-growing grass in the world. Plus it’s antibacterial so that’s good after a sweaty rocket yoga class.
Are capri pants really that much cooler than long leggings? These Reebok ones are – they've got mesh panels to allow a little extra ventilation, "speedwick" technology to help dry sweat and keep you cool, and (this is the really sexy part) an "antimicrobial gusset" to "help prevent odours". Bikram yoga, anyone?
During the summer weather especially, maintaining that downward dog on a sweaty yoga mat can be a tough ask. These H&M leggings come with a slip-on, slip-off non-slip foot piece (shall we say "slip" one more time?) to help you hold that pose.
If you're not ready to go full yoga (and hey, being comfortable should be your number-one priority when it comes to choosing workout gear), these adidas by Stella McCartney sweatpants make a good alternative. They've got a reassuringly thick waistband and are super-lightweight, making them ideal for yoga.
adidas by Stella McCartney, Yoga Lightweight Sweat Pants, £54.95
The "I Haven't Got Time For Laundry" Leggings
One thing recent converts to regular exercise will discover is the un-flipping-believable amount of laundry you've got to do now. Luckily, yoga can be a low-sweat sport so if you've got class two days in a row, no one's going to know you're recycling your leggings with these Sweaty Betty reversible numbers. Maybe don't stretch them to three classes, though.
Everyone's got that favourite pair of leggings. Usually, it's because they fit well, have a high enough waist that you're not constantly pulling them up (SO ANNOYING), they won't feel too stretched across the bum (thus adequately concealing your rubbish pants), and have a little pocket for things like gym cards, keys or cash. These basic-but-functional leggings are those faithful friends.
Nike Power Legendary Mid-Rise Training Tights, £50
The Fun Ones
If you're bored of functional black workout clothes, yoga pants are pretty much the only area of fitness wear that's currently willing to go totally "out there" when it comes to fun patterns, colours and cuts. These Noli leggings are a good example but check out the other brands on Yoga Rebel, too, to find more fun designs.
These UniQlo yoga pants are, at £14.90, a total steal. Plus you can almost certainly wear them outside the studio, too. Perfect if you're not sure yoga is the sport for you but want to give it a try anyway.
Don't let the flowers on these leggings from The Upside fool you. The material is snug, robust and feels very, very good next to your skin. Because they're silky, they're dead easy to put on and take off, too, meaning you don't have to do that undignified hopping-around-on-one-foot-while-your-other-foot's-still-stuck dance in the changing rooms afterwards.
The Upside Power Cropped Stretch Jersey Leggings, Net-A-Porter, £75
The Easy-To-Move Ones
These organic cotton leggings from Domyos are so soft and flexible they even work for pregnant women thanks to the turn-down waistband, which can snugly hold your belly if needed and stops the need for elastic, which could cause discomfort.
If you’re still finding it hard to associate gingham with anything but Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, it’s time to rethink your position.
The print may once have been paired with images of Oklahoma! Southern Belles and wholesome girls-next-door but Brigitte Bardot gave the checkered pattern an edge when she wore a pink gingham dress down the aisle at her wedding to actor Jacques Charrier in 1959.
The following decade saw gingham shirts made by brands like Fred Perry, Lambretta and Ben Sherman and worn with pride by mods, while Barbara Hulanicki launched her swinging '60s brand Biba off the back of an early gingham A-line design in 1963. Since then, often as a nod to nostalgia, gingham has made its way in and out of fashion.
This season, however, it landed firmly on the catwalks of fashion month: at Pringle of Scotland we saw form-fitting sundresses and football-inspired long-sleeved shirts, while at Dolce & Gabbana cute cropped jackets with Matador-style ruffles were paired with embellished skirts. Erika Cavallini gave us proportion play with frilled gingham, and Paul Smith super-sized the print in pinks and oranges. House of Holland made pastel work of the pattern, clashing varying sizes across jackets, shoes and skirts, and flashes of check were glimpsed in Rahul Mishra's gingham coat linings.
While the fabric looks very much at home on a beach, with a straw basket and some cat eye sunglasses, in the slides ahead you’ll find workwear- and festival-appropriate gingham as worn by our favourite ladies on Instagram. Click through to see how to style the print of spring 2017.
Paloma Elsesser mixes '60s Bardot vibes with '00s sports casual; those extreme shaped sunnies will be your go-to pair this summer, too.
Man Repeller's Leandra Medine makes transitional dressing much more fun with her Dorothee Schumacher duster coat.
Camille Charrière's gingham blazer tackles two trends nicely, and we're digging her matching Mango earrings and T-shirt font.
Loulou de Saison's Zara ruffled skirt is a spring staple; she clashes her prints well with a striped tee.
Fanny Ekstrand taps into three SS17 trends here: pink, statement shirts, and gingham. Top it off with simple loafers and a pair of sunnies.
Débora Rosa's H&M baby blue blouse again featured ruffled sleeves. Pair with pale denim or a pencil skirt for a casual workwear look.
This is every inch the perfect picnic outfit from Hanna Stefansson. Gold star for matching neckerchief.
Lizzy Hadfield's cute off-the-shoulder blouse is high-waisted mum jeans' best friend.
Trine Kjaer proves gingham doesn't have to be girly. Add your favourite oversized hoodie and trusty kicks for streetwear cool.
This is Sunday strollin' perfection: slogan T-shirt, picnic basket, gingham trousers.
Gia Seo's take on gingham is all wrapped up in corsetry – just look at that tie top and belt-effect skirt.
Take your picnic to the beach like Tamu McPherson in her pretty Lisa Marie Fernandez two-piece.
ASOS Insider Hannah makes her gingham pop with a sunset orange frilled hem top. Matching fire engines not necessary.
Megan Ellaby proves gingham needn't be overly feminine. With that Alexa for M&S patent coat and killer boots, it'd look equally at home on stage as in the park.
Sukeban co-founder Erika Bowes works an NSFW gingham two-piece – layer over a white tee for a daytime-appropriate look.
Reese Blutstein wears her Pale Swimwear gingham bikini top over a folklore-inspired shirt. The statement sleeves, halfway buttoned-up and collarless aspects of the shirt elevate the outfit. Top marks.
Just look at Bettina Looney's draped Jacquemus jacket – she's got gingham all wrapped up.
This is everything you want in a deconstructed shirt: extra-long sleeves, pulled off-the-shoulder, tied at the waist. Pair with washed jeans and some Cobain-style sunnies for '90s know-how.
Weather permitting, Marie Jedig's ASOS gingham two-piece is your festival essential. Just add heavy duty sandals.
Monica wears the Urban Outfitter's dress of the season with some classic Ray-Bans at Coachella - the perfect festival attire.
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As anyone who’s ever done it will tell you, house-sharing isn’t always one big extended episode of Friends. Living with someone whose tidiness threshold or partying stamina is way mismatched with yours is annoying enough, but mild irritations can be amplified to devastating proportions when mental health issues are added into the mix.
One in four people will suffer mental health problems at some point in their life, and studies have shown that young people are particularly susceptible. ONS data on the lifestyles of young people in the UK show that one in five 16-24-year-olds reported mental ill health in 2014, and that 90% of 20-24-year-olds were in rented accommodation. Looking at those statistics side by side, the likelihood of having to battle through a mental health issue in close proximity to roommates seems pretty high. Plenty of advice is available on how to support a family member or partner with mental health issues, but what if the person in the next room is neither?
“I have depression and anxiety, and I’m currently living in a student house with people I didn’t know before,” says Jess, a 22-year-old master's student living in Birmingham. “It’s a mixed blessing that I didn’t know them because there’s less pressure than being around friends. Sometimes with friends, you don’t want to let them down by not being social, but when you don’t really know them it’s easier to fade into the background and stay in your room all the time.”
Jess lived with close friends in her old house but found their attempts to be supportive could be stifling. “I’d feel resentful because I knew that they were going to try and get me out of bed and get me to talk and go places with them,” she says. “It depends what mood I’m in; sometimes it can be really helpful if someone says, ‘Why don’t we go and get some food’ because they know I haven’t eaten since yesterday, but at other times that’s the worst thing they can do because I don’t want to talk to anyone and I’ll be awful if you try and spend time with me.”
Choosing how much or how little to divulge about a mental health issue is a personal decision; while Jess felt able to discuss her depression with one of her housemates, who’d also experienced mental health issues, Francesca, who didn’t want to reveal her age or location, felt the opposite. “I lived with others at university and throughout my 20s, and suffered from anorexia,” she says. “I’ve never confided [in my housemates] but it turns out they’ve always known. I’m incredibly self-conscious about eating in front of others, as I often feel judged, particularly when really trying to follow recovery meal plans.”
One thing Jess and Francesca do agree on is that living with strangers or acquaintances was preferable to close friends. “I've never lived with close friends for fear of food issues becoming a barrier,” says Francesca, while Jess says she prefers the idea of living with “people I don’t really know, but are a similar age and life situation” to living alone or with family: “I’d be terrible if I lived alone, I don’t think I’d ever leave the house!”
She’d say, ‘you’re crazy, you’ve got issues’. She’d bring parties back a lot to avoid talking and avoid the situation.
“Revealing a mental health issue can feel risky because people fear the reaction, so they feel pressure to hide it or pretend everything’s fine,” says counsellor Katy Georgiou. “Even if they do speak up, there’s the question of when and how. If they mention it too soon they might scupper accommodation opportunities that could have become friendships, but say it too late and they might risk the housemates feeling somehow duped. You might feel like you don’t want to burden your housemates, but equally feel like not talking about it makes the issue worse. Or you might resent having to reveal your private business but feel like you have no choice in the matter.”
Rebecca, 26, an office worker from High Wycombe, found that explaining her condition – depression and borderline personality disorder – did improve her living situation to begin with. “My mental health wasn’t that bad [when I first moved in with my ex-housemate] but it deteriorated and I did open up to her about it,” she says. “At first she was very open which was useful and it made the living situation easier. Once you’ve explained the medical facts behind it, it becomes a bit less scary, so I did tell her about the condition and she was a lot more relaxed after that. She knew what to do, even if it was just to call an emergency contact like my mum, or the social worker I had at the time.”
Unfortunately, Rebecca’s roommate struggled to support her when her mental health worsened. “I couldn’t really hide it,” she remembers. “It leaked through into daily life. That’s when I’d say, stigma-wise, I got the judgement. She’d say, ‘You’re crazy, you’ve got issues’. It would be awkward, it was a small place and her boyfriend was round all the time. She’d cut off conversations or bring parties back a lot to avoid talking and avoid the situation.”
“There’s still a lot of misinformation, prejudice and fear about mental health,” says Georgiou. But rather than being simply insensitive, those seemingly inappropriate reactions might be a product of distress. “It can be really upsetting for roommates to witness another person suffering,” she continues. “It’s good for housemates to have at least a basic understanding of different mental health issues, not just so they can offer the right kind of support, but also so they’re emotionally protected and don’t get shocked if they see something they don’t understand, like self-harming or binge-purging.”
It was becoming a bottle of wine every night, then two, then two bottles of wine and some cocaine, some valium, and I soon realised that this wasn’t typical student party behaviour, it was taking over him.
Eddie*, 25, who lives in Surrey and works in the music industry, knows this all too well. “Both my housemates were students, so it was difficult to tell at first if they were just having fun at events or if my friend was becoming reliant on alcohol,” he says. “After a few weeks [of living together], it wasn’t just a few beers every night – it was becoming a bottle of wine every night, then two, then two bottles of wine and some cocaine, some valium, and I soon realised that this wasn’t typical student party behaviour, it was taking over him.”
Eddie tried to help, but struggled with his housemate’s fluctuating moods. “Every time I tried to offer advice or intervene there’d be a whole layer of bravado and confidence, like, ‘Mate, it’s very sweet that you’re looking out for me, but I’m fine. I can handle myself’. Then a few bottles of wine down the line, there would be tears: ‘I’ve let my parents down, my sister down, my friends down, what am I doing?’ And repeat the next day. It’s difficult to deal with someone who for half the day is in denial and the other half is wrapped in self-loathing.”
Eddie’s own mental health suffered as a result, and he admits that he felt “selfish” acknowledging the impact the situation was having on him. “You can see the torment sufferers from mental health issues are going through, but at the same time it’s easy to forget that your own issues can have a big impact on someone who initially was doing well,” he says. “I went back on antidepressants and was in tears and sleeping less. The most heartbreaking part of all is, he was my best friend, and I didn’t see that in him anymore. I actually got upset with him for acting selfishly towards us, not thinking of us and the pressure it was putting on us.”
You’re not the cause or the fix for somebody’s mental health problem so don’t take on that responsibility, but do acknowledge what they're experiencing and encourage them to seek support.
There’s no blanket solution to dealing with these difficult situations, but the mental health charity Mind is aware of the issues and their Student Minds study is specifically designed to help accommodation providers deal with mental health issues in students. That support structure isn’t available in privately rented accommodation but Stephen Buckley, Head of Information at Mind, encourages seeking external help if support isn’t available within your house. “Speak to a friend or family member or go to your GP, who can talk you through the support that’s available. It can be daunting, but Mind has produced a guide on how to speak to your GP about mental health. If you think a fellow student or flatmate might be experiencing a mental health problem, the most important thing that you can do is to encourage them to seek appropriate treatment. You can reassure them that it is possible to do something to improve their situation.”
Francesca believes communication would have improved her housing situation, but also says that worrying less about what her housemates thought would have helped. “I think focusing on my own meal plan and needs, rather than looking to my housemates and what they were doing,” she says, when I ask what would have made it better.” Similarly, Georgiou urges anyone witnessing their housemate suffering not to neglect their own needs. “You’re not the cause or the fix for somebody’s mental health problem so don’t take on that responsibility, but do acknowledge what they're experiencing and encourage them to seek support,” she says. “It’s important to acknowledge that living with someone with a mental health issue can be hard, but those issues are more common than we think. They don’t have to be scary.”
It’s easy to criticise Lena Dunham. The actress, writer, producer and director has had her fair share of foot-in-mouth moments, with Twitter calling her out on everything from saying she wished she’d had an abortion, to the lack of diversity in Girls, to accusing a sports star of not wanting to hit on her. She does, however, use her platform to talk about ongoing and prevalent issues facing women, from reproductive rights to mental health. Her podcast, Women of the Hour, is a well-rounded exploration of the complexity of women’s lives, and she’s always vocal on social media about the issues that are important to her.
Dunham has been very open about her recent uptake of exercise and healthy eating – something her Girls character, Hannah, was known for hating – and while there was always going to be chatter about her changing figure and speculation surrounding her motives, today she took to Instagram to shut down the trashy, sexist and invasive world of the media and paparazzi.
Her post shows the cover of a magazine with the headline "20 Slimdown DIET TIPS STARS ARE USING" next to a shot of Lena, photographed while out and about in New York. The photo is captioned, "LENA: HOW SHE GETS MOTIVATED". We’re used to seeing these crass and crap headlines on newsagents' shelves every day – it’s something we’ve come to accept, with an eye roll and wave of hand. But Dunham has clearly had enough. She proceeded to list the "20 tips" in a witty and telling rundown of the factors that can and do pressure women into being self-conscious about their weight.
In it, she takes a shot at the current state of US politics: "worrying ceaselessly about the health and safety of women you know and women you don’t"; "an election that reveals the true depths of American misogyny". Dunham also lists the physical symptoms of the endometriosis from which she suffers – "abdominal adhesions pinning ovary below uterus"; "bladder spasms, urinary frequency and urgency" – before, finally, taking a swipe at the media’s ravenous takedown of women everywhere: "having your phone number leaked and violent images texted to your phone by randos under names like VERYFATCHUCKYBOY@creepz.com"; "realizing that even the liberal media wants dem clicks no matter whut".
She ends with, "I have no tips I give no tips I don't want to be on this cover cuz it's diametrically opposed to everything I've fought my whole career for and it's not a compliment to me because it's not an achievement thanx". Can we get an amen? Women’s bodies aren’t here for the hungry media to consume, and everyone should just let her get on with running, or weightlifting or, you know, whatever the hell she wants.
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At just 21 years old, US singer-songwriter Alexandra Savior is fast becoming one of the most talked-about new voices in the industry. Her debut album, Belladonna of Sadness (named after a 1973 Japanese anime film), was released last month to rave reviews and inspired one YouTube commentator to describe her music (not entirely inaccurately) as "if Lana Del Rey and Alex Turner had a child". But despite co-writing a number of songs with the Arctic Monkeys frontman (more on that later), Alexandra is very much her own artist.
Her hypnotic vocals, dreamy lyrics and desert rock sound makes for a cinematic, beguiling, and, at times, vaguely threatening listen.
We emailed with Alexandra to find out the inspiration behind her debut album, what she likes to wear on stage and the best thing about living in Portland.
Hi Alexandra! Can you tell us five things that inspired or contributed to the creation of Belladonna of Sadness? Portishead Thai Green Curry Desert flowers Faye Dunaway in Bonnie and Clyde On the Road by Jack Kerouac
So that listeners can prepare themselves, can you name a film which is equally as sad as this album? It's probably as sad as Fast and the Furious 19 or Shrek 4.
Can you tell us one of your favourite lyrics you've written so far and why? "The horizon drank me down." (From "M.T.M.E")
How did you meet Alex Turner and what is he like to work with? Met him on the old email. He was very hard working, organised, stoic, clever.
Do you have a favourite mood to write in? Manic!
You direct your own music videos [see "Shades" above]; what do you particularly enjoy about that process? I love being able to create a world within a screen, work with people who generally do not perform, and see how slowly throughout the day they can become a character they were afraid to explore.
How much do you think about how you dress on stage? And what do you generally like to wear? I wish I had more guts when it comes to stage get-ups; in my fantasy I am Shirley Bassey or Mina Mazzini, draped in a dress of gold coins and shaking my rump around. But I wear long black dresses because they make me feel comfortable, hidden, and respectable. It isn't about me shaking some well fitted piece of aluminium, it is about the words and the story I have to tell.
Have you ever tried to be coerced into doing something you didn't want to by the music industry and, if so, how did you handle it? Oh yes, I have been in the offices of many a man and their half-hearted promises. Unfortunately I believed the first few.
You live in Portland, Oregon. What are the city's pros and cons? Pros: the people, the moss, the food, the views, the ocean, the mountain, grandma's house, and beer. Cons: THE RAIN and the potholes.
What is the best thing you've seen or done in London so far? I saw an Egon Schiele exhibit in London that blew my mind.
Your song "Risk" soundtracked True Detective Season 2; would you rather go to the pub with Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson or Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn? Probably just Woody, we can leave Matt out of it. He just seems like a real go-to guy.
Alexandra Savior's debut albumBelladonna Of Sadnessis out now on Columbia Records. She plays London's Scala on 30th May. Ticketsavailable here.
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There are a few things in this life we can count on: death, sex, taxes, and Harry Styles memes. The former One Direction darling recently struck out solo, and he's doing quite well in case you hadn't noticed. These days he doesn't have to do much to inspire a meme — for example, in the trailer for the movie Dunkirk, the musician appears only twice. That's plenty, though, and his few seconds of screen time were quickly repurposed for internet humour. Monday morning, Styles dropped a new music video for his song "Sign of the Times." The video is 5 minutes and 41 seconds of pure Harry Styles. As the laws of life stipulate, the video has already inspired plenty of memes.
The video itself is actually very simple. It involves sir Styles hanging out on what looks like the bluffs of Scotland. He's looking moody and gloomy, singing about "the sign of the times." It's all fairly typical music video stuff — until Styles begins to levitate. And thus, a meme was born. Levitating Harry Styles? Bring on the wingardium leviosa references! Give us GIFs of flying cats! Roll out the Jesus references! Despite its simplicity, the video is truly a treasure trove — Harry Styles, thank you for giving us content like this.
Before you see the memes, though, take a peek at the full video. (Assuming you haven't already watched it several times, as I have.)
Then, just to remind you of what's important in this life, a GIF of the good stuff.
In the meme matrix, things tend to spin out of hand until the content no longer makes much logical sense. But that doesn't mean it's not funny. In fact, the top of the meme pyramid is the best it gets.
Today, however, new figures from Halifax offer some much-needed hope that one day we might be able to afford our own homes. UK house prices are "stagnating" and have fallen by 0.2% in the last three months, marking the first quarterly decline since November 2012, the BBC reported. Prices fell by 0.1% in the past month alone, Halifax said.
Prices rose by 3.8% in the year leading up to April, however, leaving the average price of a flat or house at £219,649. (A similar amount can buy you wildly different levels of luxury throughout the UK.)
One reason for the stagnation and decline is that prices have simply become unaffordable for too many of us. (You don't say!) "Housing demand appears to have been curbed in recent months due to the deterioration in housing affordability caused by a sustained period of rapid house price growth during 2014-16," said Martin Ellis, a housing economist at Halifax.
It's unclear whether this decline marks the start of a longer-term period of falls, or is just a minor blip en route to even higher property prices. Jonathan Samuels, chief executive of specialist property lender, Octane Capital, said the property market is going through "an affordability hangover from the price growth of recent years", with Brexit negotiations and "cross-Channel spats" also creating uncertainty, the Mirror reported.
"Combine the rising cost of living with muted wage growth, add in political and economic uncertainty, and a period of prolonged house price stagnation is a real possibility.”
But Ellis said prices are likely to rise further. “A continued low mortgage rate environment, combined with an ongoing acute shortage of properties for sale, should... help continue to underpin house prices over the coming months.” Great.
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I’m pretty sure that the upper echelon of television and film critics find the MTV Movie & TV Awards’ Best Kiss category to be immature fodder. And noting the fact that Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson won for the Twilight franchise four times in a row, I don’t blame them. The kisses nominated are usually the most passionate part of an otherwise dull or weird on-screen relationship. Last night’s show brought about a welcome change, though, when Ashton Sanders and Jharrel Jerome took home the evening's signature prize for locking lips in Moonlight. I’ve never cheered so hard for any nominee in this category, and I think the win is a pretty big deal.
The most obvious reason is that Moonlight needs to win everything it’s nominated for because it’s just that good of a movie. There, I said it. There is also the fact that MTV Movie & TV Awards isn’t known for honouring same-sex moments in this category. I get it. Many films and television shows for teens are just now deciding which side of the fence they want to be on when it comes to LGTBTQ representation. Thanks to lineups on networks like The CW and Freeform, television programming marketed for younger audiences has typically taken same-sex relationships — and kisses — a lot more seriously. However, MTV has never looked in that direction until now, as this is the first year the network included TV in the nominations. With only one or two exceptions, the ceremony has thus far been the awards show version of barsexuals, shining a light on a singular moment of physical contact between two people of the same gender for shits and giggles.
Anyone who has seen Moonlight, however, knows that the tender scene between teenage Chiron and his friend Kevin is anything but frill. It is a moment of sexual revelation for Chiron, who has been struggling with the ramifications of being queer ever since his childhood. Not only is this an important moment of visibility for queer people of colour on the big screen, it is a true example of diversity and inclusivity. All young people in love/lust are not straight. All queer young people are not white. All queer people of colour are not wealthy. I could keep going.
So much of the progress we see in Hollywood seems to be happening in baby steps, even especially when the content is relevant to younger audiences. Following accusations that the industry lacks diversity, we see more people of colour, but they’re mysteriously assimilated with all of the white people around them. We get a few LGBTQ characters, but we never get a glimpse in the vibrant subcultures that they call home. I appreciate that young viewers have spoken back with this category to say: We appreciate complex stories and identities. We don’t need dumbed down versions of diversity, or uncomplicated representations of love. It’s a response I hope to see repeated in years to come.
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On December 15, 2016, Brooklyn-based filmmaker Elyse Fox posted a trailer for her latest work, Convos with Friends, to Instagram. The piece, which Fox called her most personal yet, addressed her struggles with depression, which, up to that point, she had dealt with on her own.
“Sometimes I look in the mirror, and I’m just staring at myself hard as fuck, wondering why I can’t see what everyone else sees,” Fox says in the trailer. “Perception is always key, but I do feel like I’m fooling all of my friends and family. How can I trick people for this long, and how can they not notice?”
Immediately after posting the trailer, Fox received a DM from a girl in Paris, then another from a woman in London. Since December, women have contacted her on a daily basis, seeking mentorship and words of support. What Fox saw as her "coming out party for depression," struck a chord with others, who saw the emotions they were feeling inside staring back at them from their screens.
Fox is not alone. She’s one of many people who have taken to Instagram to share the stories surrounding their mental illness. Today, Instagram announced a new campaign, #HereForYou, that unites these stories and aims to create a supportive community for anyone who is affected by mental illness.
“When I was struggling, I didn’t feel like I had anyone who was there for me,” Fox told Refinery29. “Showing someone that you are there for them can help move them in the right direction.”
Pretty Little Liars' Troian Bellisaro posted with the hashtag, and Instagram is encouraging anyone to share their story and tag it #HereForYou.
The campaign follows in the footsteps of other mental health-minded resources that Instagram has introduced over the past 12 months. These include new anonymous reporting tools and a way to turn off commenting for a post. But there's still a ways to go. Fox said that in the future, she hopes to see tools that make it easier to connect with someone nearby who is facing similar challenges.
In a world full of pastel macarons, rainbow-swirled unicorn lattes, and perfect nights out with friends, seeing and reading honest posts about mental health struggles is an important reality check. Fox's posts and others tagged #HereForYou are powerful reminders that Instagram should be a place for challenging stigmas and engaging in more open, truthful conversations — alongside trendy, colourful concoctions, sure.
If you are thinking about suicide, please contactSamaritanson 116 123. All calls are free and will be answered in confidence.
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An IUD is deceptively simple: Once you get one all up in your uterus, you can forget about getting pregnant, taking a pill every day, and, if your IUD is hormonal, having a regular period. Yet, despite the fact that many women love their IUDs, they can come with a surprising amount of hassle for others. That means IUDs are definitely not an ideal birth control option for everyone with a uterus — including me.
In truth, I was totally fine with the Yasmin birth control pills that I took pre-IUD; my period came like clockwork, and taking the pills made my hair crazy-thick. But all my cousins were getting IUDs, so I wanted one, too. I ended up getting the Mirena two years ago because it seemed like a lazy miracle for someone who's perpetually confused about health insurance and can't be bothered to refill a pill pack every month.
But having an IUD sucked.
Although I can't say with 100% certainty that my IUD is to blame, after the insertion, I started to lose my hair, began getting crippling migraines every month (reported by 16% of people who have adverse reactions to Mirena in the US), and got gorgeous cystic acne all over my face. For me, it was clear that my IUD had to GTFO after a year of hoping the symptoms would go away.
Other people might choose to have their IUDs removed because they don't like not getting a regular period, they want to get pregnant, or the monthly cramping is too annoying. But getting your IUD out is almost as big of a decision as it is to get one in. So you should give it some serious thought before pulling the trigger — or string.
The good news: Getting your IUD out doesn't hurt nearly as badly as it does going in. In my experience, it didn't hurt at all. That's because, when you get an IUD inserted, sometimes doctors have to dilate your cervix to get it in there. But when it gets removed, "we very rarely have to do anything more than just gently pull on the strings," says Shree Chanchani, MD, a gynaecologist and clinical assistant professor in the Department of Obstetrics and Gynaecology at NYU Langone Medical Centre.
Once the freaky piece of plastic comes out, things may get interesting. Just like getting an IUD in, having yours taken out can come with side effects — whether you're on the copper IUD or one with hormones, such as the Mirena. Many women experience spotting or cramping after their IUD comes out, but that's usually normal and can be caused by the device physically brushing against the inside of your vagina, Dr. Chanchani says.
But spotting and cramping are pretty mild compared to some of the other reported side effects. If you Google "Mirena crash," you'll find endless message boards with stories from people who claim that, about two weeks after having their IUDs out, they started getting a ton of terrible side effects — from mood swings to nausea and breast swelling. Of course, any time you stop taking hormonal birth control you could experience symptoms like those associated with the "crash" thanks to a sudden change in the amount of extra hormones in your system. (The Mirena releases a small amount of synthetic progesterone, which thickens your cervical mucus to prevent sperm from meeting up with one of your eggs. Sometimes it also suppresses your periods along with any associated symptoms.)
However, despite the internet's insistence, it's still unclear whether or not these symptoms can truly be blamed on getting an IUD out. "The overall amount of absorbable progesterone is quite low with a Mirena IUD," says Dr. Chanchani, meaning that taking one out likely wouldn't have a huge impact on your body. According to her, the worst thing that could happen post-removal is that, thanks to the progesterone withdrawal, you get a period. Plus, the recent research about hormonal IUDs doesn't suggest the crash is really all that widespread.
The next thing to consider once you're IUD-free is whether or not you want to go on another form of birth control. Without birth control, there's a very real likelihood that you could get pregnant, Dr. Chanchani says, "so it is very important to have an alternative plan." If you're not planning on getting pregnant, you should start a new kind of birth control immediately after you have your IUD removed. And it's a good idea to talk to your gyno about what you want to try next before your IUD comes out so you can get started on a new method right away.
Luckily, I didn't go through "Mirena crash" or notice any side effects once I got my IUD out. And getting back on the pill was a surprisingly simple process: I was worried that my gynaecologist would make me wait before starting a new birth control pill, but the office sent me home with a script for new pills that I filled that day.
I'm still occasionally getting migraines, and I'm still reckoning with having a thinner ponytail, but it's a relief to not have an IUD. The moral of the story is that, while IUDs are highly effective and work well for many people, an IUD might not be the best form of birth control for you to be on — even if it seems like the most convenient method and everyone else is doing it. Talk to your gynaecologist about what your choices are, and really consider the possible side effects of each option. There simply isn't a one-size-fits-all birth control method. Your body is unique, and you have a right to access the kind of birth control that's just perfect for you — even if it takes some trial-and-error to find it.
Ed. note: This is a first-person account from a writer in the US – the healthcare system there is very different from the healthcare system we have in the UK. Here, an IUD refers to an intrauterine device (commonly known as a coil), which is non-hormonal. Mirena, which Cory talks about above, is a form of IUS, or intrauterine system, and works by releasing a hormone.
If you're considering birth control and are unsure which is the best method for you, consult your GP or visit your local sexual health clinic. There's also lots of handy informationhere.
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If we were to ever accuse anyone of listening to John Legend's "All Of Me" too much, it's the folks over at Dove. To prove its undying affection for all your curves and all your edges, the brand released a line of new, limited-edition body washes designed to match six different silhouettes of a woman's body, AdWeek reports. Dr. Seuss would have had a field day with this collection — there's a tall bottle, a really tall bottle, a round bottle, a short bottle, and... well, you get the picture.
The intention with its "Real Body Bottles," as the company is calling them, is to spread a message of body positivity — a huge part of Dove's Real Beauty ethos. "Each bottle evokes the shapes, sizes, curves and edges that combine to make every woman their very own limited edition," the brand said in a statement. "They're one of a kind — just like you." Naturally, Twitter had some feelings with the news.
The general consensus — aside from many who thought it was an overdue April Fool's joke or an Onion article — is that this ad campaign, while probably well-intended, didn't quite hit the mark. It's absolutely true that women need to see more body-positive messages in the media, but maybe not in their shower basket.
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Melissa Ryan is the author ofCtrl Alt Right Delete, a weekly newsletter devoted to understanding how Trump and his army of right wing supporters organise online. All opinions are her own.
Here’s what you need to know about last week’s presidential elections in France: Centrist Emmanuel Macron won, defeating right wing nationalist Marine Le Pen. Macron’s victory was seen as a defeat for a growing fascist movement. Far right activists in America and Kremlin operatives took an active interest in Le Pen’s campaign, just as they had with Donald Trump in 2016. Political observers around the world worried that a Le Pen victory would destabilise Europe. However French voters rejected Le Pen’s candidacy and by extension her extremist views.
The recent runoff election in France made front page news in America which is unusual, but we live in unusual times. Last summer the United Kingdom voted to exit the European Union via referendum (aka Brexit), and voters in the United States elected a president who promised to put “America First.” Far right parties are gaining momentum across the globe, and despite their nativist promises to voters, they’re working together to organise a global movement against globalism. The elections in France provided this far right movement with their next opportunity for victory.
Marine Le Pen, head of the French National Front, a far right nationalist political party, hoped to win an upset victory and become the Donald Trump of France, but those hopes were dashed when her opponent centrist Emmanuel Macron won in a landslide. The so-called alt-right in America, a force for Trump’s campaign online in 2016, did everything they could to boost Le Pen’s campaign, hoping that she could stun the world with a victory in the same vein as Trump. They failed.
The alt-right in America (I like to call them the Frog Squad, named for their unofficial mascot, Pepe) have been organising in support of Le Pen’s candidacy for months. In January, Buzzfeed detailed how and where the Frog Squad were gathering online to make culturally appropriate memes and spread fake news in support of Le Pen’s candidacy. They’ve worked openly on 4chan, The_Donald subreddit, messaging platforms such as Dischord, even Google Docs. Reporters and activists observed this activity, and it caused so much concern that French media outlets collaborated with Google News Lab and an organisation called First Draft News to create Cross Check: a massive effort to verify news stories and give voters in France the tools to verify the news they saw in their social media feeds.
The Frog Squad’s digital efforts culminated late Friday night when Emmanuel Macron’s campaign was hacked. Much like the hacks in our own presidential election last year, the #MacronLeaks was timed to do as much damage as possible to his candidacy. His campaign hardly had any time to respond because in France there is mandated 44 hour pre-election coverage blackout. Working under a tight deadline, they managed to get a statement out saying that some of the leaked documents were forgeries mixed with actual documents, but there was no discussion of the hack by the candidates or in the press beyond that. Meanwhile, here in the U.S. the Frog Squad did everything they could to amplify the #MacronLeaks hack.
If you want to see how the alt-right (and their Kremlin operative friends) organize their political attacks online, this thread from Buzzfeed’s Ryan Broderick shows how they disseminate their attacks from 4chan to Reddit, social networks, search, and French media, all in anticipation of the final drop from Wikileaks. It’s a textbook example of how they operate. There’s also already some early analysis about who was actually using the #MacronLeaks hashtag in real time and counter-measures being taken to limit the hack’s effects in the final hours. The analytics of the hashtag showed that Macron supporters and Americans on the left were able to overpower the right’s campaign at least by volume on Twitter. Potentially this burst of tweets neutralised the far right’s effort to swing the election to Le Pen in the final hours.
For many in America and other parts of Europe, France felt like a bellwether for whether small-d democracy (supporting democracy as a foundation of society and a system of government) could be saved. Macron, in fact, framed his candidacy as the only way to save the concept of democracy in France and much of the world agreed — including former President Barack Obama, who made clear how high the stakes were by endorsing Macron’s candidacy. I’m greatly relieved by his victory, and I’m not alone. Twitter in Europe and America erupted after the race was called for Macron.
Victory for Macron, for France, the EU, & the world.
Defeat to those interfering w/democracy. (But the media says I can't talk about that)
What happened online during the French election mirrored what happened in America’s own presidential election last year. The good news is that while the alt-right clearly has a playbook, activists are learning to counter it, reporters are covering it, and voters are aware of what’s happening. Between France and the recent Dutch elections it looks like Europe as a whole isn’t buying into the hyper-nationalist, white supremacist movement that fuelled both Brexit and Donald Trump. And here in the U.S. — thanks to so muchcomprehensivenews — we’re more fully aware that the fight against Trump, and the alt-right coalition that boosted his own campaign, is a global movement.
Shining a spotlight on the Frog Squad’s activities, as well as their alliance with Kremlin operatives who support their efforts, might not have been the deciding factor in Macron’s victory, but French voters knew a lot more about how the far right operates online than American voters did when we went to the polls last fall. That knowledge likely had an impact on their media consumption — and ultimately their vote.
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Maternity clothes say: "I’m not a cool person anymore, I’m a mum." Some pregnant women veer towards the Kate Middleton look – a floral wrap dress and a pair of comfy flats – while others strive to be in clothing as close to pyjamas as possible at all times. If that's not for you, and you don't fancy a bodycon dress either, then maternity wear can be a pain. Most expectant mums, like me, want to be able to dress as close to normal as possible, just with more comfort and without having to shell out too much on temporary items.
When it's expensive to buy clothes that will fit you for literally two months, should expectant mums ditch maternity wear altogether? Fashion blogger and new mum Susie Lau, aka Susie Bubble, says yes. “I didn’t buy any specific maternity wear, apart from a pair of Topshop jeans because they have a soft waistband for that last trimester bulge," she tells me. "I just adapted what I would normally wear to my new size. I was never one for the bodycon dresses and super-tight clothes anyway so the loose trapeze shapes and empire lines were fine by me,” she says. “I had to stick to elasticated waistband trousers and skirts for the entire pregnancy but you could easily find them in non-maternity clothes.”
One of the main reasons for steering clear of maternity wear is that high street ranges tend to be limited, expensive or only available online, and many fashion designers just don't bother with maternity dressing. For instance, if you type 'maternity' into the search box on Net-A-Porter you get a few items from the label Hatch and the odd beauty product. In addition to a perceived lack of glamour, many brands are reluctant to invest in maternity ranges, knowing full well that most women won’t spend much on clothes they will only wear for a short period of time. Instead, brands like Seraphine and JoJo Maman Bébé tend to dominate the market.
Susie suggests buying a good pair of trousers with a comfortable elasticated waistband. “I loved my J Brand leather trousers that had a really forgiving elasticated waistband. I also recommend fun and OTT dresses that slip on and off easily over the bump and remind you of the times when you went out partying and were allowed to drink. I wore a lot of Molly Goddard dresses because they were bump-friendly and weren't necessarily typical maternity wear.”
Although some resort to wearing their favourite trousers half-unzipped just to avoid buying maternity wear, industry experts say you can embrace your body's changes without completely altering your look or ignoring fashion trends altogether. Tara Allison, Head of Design at ASOS recommends buying bigger-sized and baggy items that will last beyond the pregnancy. She suggests investing in a tea dress that can be worn over jeans or with your favourite trainers. "It's all about oversized and voluminous proportions looking sexy and feminine. The oversized trapeze dress or T is great when worn over the bump. Key asymmetrical details, cut-outs and ruffle placements all make this look new."
Topshop’s Head of Design, Holly Wright, has a similar approach but thinks key maternity items are a good investment. “Being pregnant myself, I’ve avoided trying to adapt my wardrobe to fit with current trends,” she says. “Instead I’ve invested in pieces that are a more pregnancy-friendly version of my usual style, choosing classic and comfortable shapes to fit with my changing body shape. I always wear a skinny jean, so Topshop’s Maternity Jamie jeans are my current go-to shape, paired with a chic oversized white shirt, or a maternity Breton jersey top.”
Jennie Wright, a dance teacher and mother of one, agrees with this approach. She didn't want to change her look too much so tried to stick with what she already had. “I bought a few bits but because most of my clothes are stretchy they went with me. Some maternity stuff is alright but I didn't want to waste money on clothes I would never wear again, so I put it off for as long as possible.”
Although you may be shut out from certain current trends such as high-waisted jeans, one good thing about maternity dressing is that you appreciate your old clothes again. For Susie, this was her normal trousers and skirts with zippers and buttons. “It took me longer than I thought to get back into my old clothes. The bump didn't magically shrink immediately after giving birth. I also missed heels – my feet expanded a bit in the last trimester and it was too precarious once I couldn't see my feet.”
Emily James, a mother of two, agrees, but points out that nursing clothes should be avoided too, and most normal clothes can be worn instead. “Breastfeeding clothes are even worse, really nannyish, like Mrs Doubtfire! Many of the brands are overpriced, Kate Middleton-style clothes,” she says. “Wrap dresses, cardigans that cross over and button up down one side, funny old T-shirts that have a panel underneath; things like that. On the front you’re wearing two or three layers of material.”
Ultimately, being pregnant is such a positive thing and women should try and enjoy the changes. Plus it’s often the one time you will be happy to accept you're getting wider and your stomach is getting bigger. Quite rightly, Susie says we should embrace this. “I have nothing against stripes per se but I do wonder why the majority of maternity wear revolves around stretchy striped tops and dresses. It's very unimaginative," she says. "I just think women don't necessarily need to blandify their dress sense when they're pregnant.”
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“89% of the women we work with report an increase in their self-confidence,” Executive Director of Women for Women International UK, Brita Fernandez Schmidt tells Refinery29. The charity – whose global events are attended by the likes of Hillary Clinton, Bianca Jagger and Salma Hayek and whose British ambassadors include Dame Helen Mirren and GoT actress Sophie Turner – provides life-changing support to girls and women in war-torn countries. Since 1993, they have served close to half a million women in Rwanda, Nigeria, South Sudan, the Congo “– countries where women were mass-raped as part of war,” Brita explains. “In Afghanistan and northern Iraq we work with Syrian refugees and Yezidi girls who have been held as sex slaves by ISIS from the age of 12, 13, 14 – the age of my daughter – and they’ve lived through this for a year and a half. It is unspeakable.”
Dalal is a 22 year old Yezidi woman. She lives in Khanke camp with her 3 brothers and 6 sisters. 12 of them live in 6 tents, 3 living rooms and 3 bedrooms. This is their home. They have been there 2 years. She says she left Sinjar because of Daesh, they heard that Daesh were coming and they were scared of being killed. 18 family members packed into 2 cars. They fled to Sinjar Mountain, where the family got separated. She says, “I want people to know how much our people have suffered, how tired we are and how much danger we were in. But we are still alive.” Dalal was introduced to Women for Women International and the Warvin Centre through her friend Nasrin. She is learning about gender based violence – previously she knew only of physical violence, “Now I know that there are many types of GBV: economic, deprivation of food and money, emotional violence – if someone hurts you or hates you.”Photo: Alison Baskerville/Women for Women International.
The women the charity help are also among the poorest populations in these countries, “some of whom can only feed their children once a day,” Brita explains, “that is seriously stressful.” Stress management is a module in the year-long programme the charity offers; it starts with the base-level stress of feeding children and fetching water, and moves throughout the course of the year to coping with the post-traumatic stress of war, the loss of loved ones, and sexual violence. “We don’t necessarily talk about ‘depression’ or ‘mental health’, but we do talk about ‘trauma’ and the effects of ‘violence and conflict’,” Brita says. “Just addressing mental health issues isn’t the solution, we also need to look at their confidence, at how isolated they are; we need to help them build social networks, give them access to knowledge about their rights and provide them with practical skills so they can earn and sustain an income. And more than that – to be productive. I know for myself and for the women that I meet, whether in the UK or in the countries that we operate, if you don’t have access to knowledge, if you don’t have the ability to be productive – whatever that may mean for you – it will make you feel depressed.”
Refinery29 is partnering with Women for Women International in a series of live-streamed discussions about mental health as a global women’s issue. The first features Brita, the journalist and TV personality June Sarpong, and founder of Blurt Alerts, Jayne Hardy. Tune in on Tuesday at 1pm at www.facebook.com/refinery29uk
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How does Women for Women International work in the mental health arena? The most important thing to acknowledge is that Women for Women International works with the whole woman. So the way we approach mental health is through the various outcomes that we focus on. We understand (and the World Health Organisation shows this very clearly) that if you have less agency in your life – if you are poor, and you don’t have access to resources and you don’t have opportunities – it’s more likely that you will feel depressed. If you feel there is nothing you can do about your life, it’s very hard. And if on top of that, you have directly experienced trauma, whether losing those close to you, or experiencing sexual violence – often multiple times – if these things aren’t addressed, they will lead to depression. In northern Iraq we work with about 600 women, some of whom are Yezidi girls who were taken by ISIS and kept as sex slaves and managed to escape. In August 2014, ISIS went into Sinjar and captured 2,000 or 3,000 Yezidi girls. Under the ISIS ideology, if you rape a Yezidi virgin, you are honoured in the afterlife. So these girls are raped every day. Sometimes by several men.
How do these girls hear about you? We work with local organisations who are working in refugee camps, so the organisation is present in the camp and there is a centre where women and girls can come. We are very careful not to advertise in the camp, ‘Traumatised women come here!’ – that would lead to stigmatisation in the camp, so it’s much more about offering a safe space, which goes back to our holistic approach: we take the whole woman, we get to know her, and then we understand her needs, and it becomes very clear to our trainers immediately which women need trauma counselling. Some just need to be brought together in a circle of trust. We put women in classes of 25, to build trust, so that there’s the opportunity to disclose to another woman in the class. What we often find is that just by providing women the opportunities to access new knowledge, and treating them with respect, often after a few months, they will disclose to a trainer.
The women hear about us through word of mouth; maybe one woman has been through the programme and she now has a chicken, and another woman sees and asks, ‘How do you have this chicken?’ and then she’s told about Women for Women International. Or the village elders or community leaders tell women about our programme – we always start by talking to community leaders first, so they come and we tell them about our programme and we also ask them questions to assess which women need help the most. Then we explain the format of the programme and then we put them in classes of 25.
Katana, Democratic Republic of the Congo. Women listening to Dady Mukenge, who has been a life skills trainer with WFW for 9 years. Most of these women have suffered effects of the war: loss of family, looting, and rape. Today they are learning ways to make money, how to save: inheritance, small business, raising animals.Photo: Alison Wright/Women For Women International.
What happens in these classes? I’ve attended classes under a tree in the village square, and others in community schools after school is finished. I was in Nigeria a month ago and attended a class in a half-finished building. We sit on mud floors, maybe some wooden benches. The majority of the women we work with are illiterate so training materials are always pictorial. In these classes, I see how women support each other in learning. We have one trainer per class and different trainers for the subjects we teach so we have modules around sexual health, and nutrition, and rights, and how to cope with the double burden of trying to earn an income and look after the family and fetch water and so on. The trainers are amazing – trainers have such a key role – encouraging women to believe in themselves.
Are trainers local people? Yes, all local. Sometimes they are women who’ve been through the programme themselves, so of course they are amazing role models. They are incredibly committed and passionate women who feel really strongly about helping women to empower themselves.
How do you start speaking to these girls, who have been held as sex slaves by ISIS, about what they’ve been through? We give them a safe space. We don’t start talking about the trauma until they are ready. We do art and music, we allow them to be human beings again, which is the most important thing that we can do. At the beginning, they don’t talk, they don’t say a word, they just sit there. Then, as time goes by, they start to reconnect. From what I understand from women who have experienced sexual violence, you have to shut yourself down in order to survive. So you have to start to reconnect with yourself, with the desire to learn.
Can you share any specific stories? There are so many. There was one Yezidi girl, aged 19, and she was held captive for a year and a half and she was so worried that she was going to die that she carved her name into her forearm so that her parents at least would know, if she died, that it was her. She also stitched her parents’ phone number into her hairband, because ISIS wouldn’t find it there, because she was so worried that she would lose her mind and forget the number and then if she escaped, she wouldn’t be able to contact her parents. This girl did manage to escape, and she contacted her parents, and she came to the Free Yezidi Foundation that we work with in northern Iraq. She was traumatised. Through the programme she was able to connect again with her own sense of value and desire to live. She became really involved with helping to run the centre and the woman who ran the centre asked her to become an assistant. She couldn’t believe that someone believed in her. You can survive even the most horrendous traumas with the right support.
How many women are there in the programme? Last year we had 20,000 women in the programme. 89% of the women report an increase in their self-confidence. We collect a lot of statistics but that is the most important one, because if you believe in yourself, if you believe you are worth it, you can do it.
Do you work with the government? We work really closely with the Department for International Development and the Foreign & Commonwealth Office (the FCO), and a little bit with the Ministry of Defence. Those three are responsible for looking after the UK’s position on women, peace and security. I have a small team that works on policy and advises the government about what we are learning from working with women in the most dangerous situations, and they are very receptive to that. We are also part of a network called Gender Action For Peace & Security [Brita is the chair of this organisation] and the government consults with us. We are just finishing a consultation with women on the ground in Syria and Afghanistan for those voices to feed into British policymaking around women, peace and security, because next year they are going to launch a new action plan, i.e., what is the UK going to do to promote women, peace and security. We are directly linking the voices of the women – the voices no one hears – with policymakers. The solutions need to be based on their needs.
Can you tell us about the Sisterhood programme – how people can get involved here? The Sisterhood programme is my favourite thing we do at Women for Women International. I was telling you about the women who enrol in our classes – 25 women – those women are all matched with a sister in another country around the world. I have a sister, she’s called Brigitte, she’s in Rwanda, I’m hoping to meet her in July. Sponsoring a sister is £22 a month, you sign up online, and then you will be matched with a sister, sometimes it takes about a month. Then you get a letter telling you who your sister is, with a photo of her, and a bit about her life like… she has two children, she’s between 30 and 35 (sometimes women don’t know their age), and you hear about what she’s learning in the programme. Then you are encouraged to write her letters, and you can do this online and upload photos of yourself and your family if you like. You can’t imagine what this means to the women. When I travel (because I’m white and they think I’ll know other white women), they come to me and show me photos of their sisters in the UK, tucked into their bra, and say, ‘This is my sister, do you know her?’ It’s this sense of knowing there’s someone on the other side of the world who cares enough to support them and write letters to them. It’s beautiful. I’ve had wonderful relationships with sisters; you think you are giving, but you get so much back.
