Oh, what a year it’s been. So fresh, so radical… so new. Things have never felt more "now" have they? But before you go leaping off into the sunset with your almond milk smoothie and your head full of trending hashtags, it’s time to spare a moment of mindfulness for the forgotten trailblazers of our generation: the TV stars of the 1990s. These were the true pioneers of our future.
Here are the handful that were so ahead of the zeitgeist they ended up pissing directly into the wind.
Eat Clean
This year we found out that Satan is tap dancing around an empty can of full fat coke; everyone’s worried about an early death by chocolate pudding and even the nation’s sweetheart, Jamie Oliver, is snatching candy from babies. We’ve entered an era of deliciously smug juices and "cakes" made with organic legumes. In 2015, we are legitimately asking whether nuts have been "activated " before we eat them.
Photo: @naturalnomad
Who did it first? Gillian Mckeith
Poor Gillian paddled in rivers of hatred for her pursuit of the fairly reasonable goal of helping people eat cleaner. Sure, her curiously compelling hobby of rooting around in the turds of the nation was a bit kooky, but it was her healthy eating crusade that really riled people up. Of course, the very same critics who threw their heads back in mirth at the mere mention of mung beans are now throwing fistfuls of raw curly kale into a juicer every morning and aggressively patronising anyone who dares to suggest it’s not delish. Gillian called it, guys.
Kylie Jenner Lips
It sometimes feels a bit like you fell asleep for five minutues, woke up and everyone was Crayola-ing round their mouths in an attempt to recreate the smackers of the 18-year-old Kardashian. The Kylie Jenner lip kit sold out in less than a minute and somebody has made it an Instagram account. Oh life.
Photo: @kyliejenner
Who did it first? Leslie Ash
The unfortunate victim of some dodgy lip injections, Debs from Men Behaving Badly was lambasted by the British press for being unlucky enough to have an allergic reaction when some collagen cowboy went rogue on her lips. Most of the outpouring of vitriol came from the brass nerve that she’d had them done in the first place. The whole thing killed her acting career, meaning Leslie spent the subsequent years touring tabloid covers apologising for her "trout pout shame"...
Photo: Rex
#freethenipple
2014 was the big year for #freethenipple: Rihanna got banned from Insta for posting pics of her splendiferous nips, and Scout Willis rode shotgun in the bandwagon after she went shopping with her chebs out – as you do – in order to hammer home that society has a very complicated relationship with women’s areolas. However, in the months since, celebs, topless protesters and... well... girls everywhere have continued to fight back against censorship by posting pictures of their nips online with the hashtag #freethenipple.
Who did it first? Charlie Dimmock
Vilified for the simple pleasure of unleashing the girls from their bra aka tit prison, Dimmock was the pioneering feminist of '90s British suburbia. Her errant nipples were enough to scandalise a thousand coffee mornings and prompt a thousand more horny Ask Jeeves questions. Charlie Dimmock didn't care about following the rules long before there were Instagram guidelines to breach. To be honest, all she cared about was where to place her next Japanese ornamental water feature.
Photo: Rex
Gender Fluidity
It’s been a glorious year for the era of gender fluidity: a year of pronoun rebellion where people might, at long last, be placing a little less political significance on what’s going on in everyone’s undercrackers. Ruby Rose does not care for your labels and even former country and western singer star Miley Cyrus has admitted she doesn’t "relate to being boy or girl".
Who did it first? Tinky Winky
Let’s put to one side for a second the bone-chilling creepiness of the Teletetubbies and spare a thought for Tinky’s Winky. Because before the term "gender fluid" was widely used, poor old gender ambiguous Tinky was battling the most vituperative of critics for just being a giant purple dude with a big heart and a taste for red patent leather.
The Female Boss
It feels like this year has been a big one for needy boys with quivering top lips while the girls have been pounding around the world being powerful. Nicki Minaj doesn’t think you should call her bossy and Rihanna is sincerely hoping you’ve got her money.
Who did it first? Hyacinth Bucket
This badass beat the $truggle to the top and never let haters get her down. Long before Nicki Minaj insisted men should get down and kiss her on the botty, Hyacinth was pussywhipping her daft husband Richard. Just you try telling this iron-willed sasspot the patriarchy rules and you’ll regret it until the day you die.
Photo: Rex
Power Blogging
As I myself bodyboard in on a wave of "galz tell it how it is" journalism, it is hard to deny that we’re having a good time of it. Lena voice-of-a-generation Dunham made an award-winning TV show about being a girl, which this year saw its fourth season air. Overlord of the teen internet Tavi Gevinson does TED talks and it’s now totally legit to write a thousand straight talkin’ words about getting your period in the supermarket. Tanya Burr's makeup blog earned her a Glamour cover and an army of followers, and Zoella made a zillion inexplicable pounds from the contents of her handbag. 2015 was sincerely was the year of the vlogger.
Who did it first? Clarissa Explains It All
This Karl Marx-quoting history nerd was sharper than her dum dum parents. Jovially expounding her inane #girlprobs in extremely powerful leggings, she was a total trailblazer for wannabe writers everywhere.
The Squad
In a sort of feminist version of Football Manager, Taylor Swift’s been subbing team members in and out and giving her chums more awards than she’s had gravy dinners. Hanging out with your friends isn’t hanging out with your friends anymore. No, it’s bigger, more photogenic and more aspirational; hence the hashtag #squadgoals.
Photo: @taylorswift
Who did it first? Birds of a Feather
The whole show kicked off with a collage of their childhood selfies, but beyond that, this straight talking #squad didn’t need the hashtag. They rolled deep, they rolled tight and they took no nonsense from each other. Nobody wanted to put Dorian in their music video, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t their bestie forever.
Photo: Rex
Strong Not Skinny
It’s the mantra of the moment. Women of the world are finally listening to their rumbling tummies and getting their skinny butts to pump it louder on the weight machines. It’s a protein fuelled revolution that marks the end of the bony looks of yesteryear in favour of nut-cracker thighs and core stability. Everybody’s doing the plank; nobody wants to look like one.
Photo: @camillamackintosh
Who did it first? Jet from Gladiators
Our Jet was a stone cold megababe who your uncle Dave reckoned could definitely beat him in an arm wrestle. Her chesnut tresses flowing in the wind machine, Jet could both rock a crop top and would happily knock seven shades of shit out of Scorpio with a giant cotton wool bud. All with smile on her face.
Photo: RexLike what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
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