Though it's the biggest night of the year for the UK music industry, the Brit Awards don't always make the headlines for the right reasons. Egos, booze, and live television is a potent combo not necessarily ripe for a sophisticated spectacle, and a standard Brit Awards ceremony can be filled with more awkward moments than an episode of First Dates.
It's unclear why the Brits elicit such squirm-inducing events. Perhaps it's because in comparison to say, the Grammys, it appears a little bit budget, a little less polished. Plus, the Grammys never had to deal with the boorishness of Britpop. Then there's the free bar. Whereas American stars will keep their cool and show a little restrain, British celebs are likely to drink everything in sight before propositioning someone for a fight. God bless 'em.
As tomorrow night's award show approaches, featuring performances from Adele, Justin Bieber and Rihanna, here's a reminder of some of the most memorable moments from ceremonies past. We'll warn you now: many of them walk a very thin line between hilarious and totally cringeworthy. We can't wait to see who will stumble onto the stage uninvited tomorrow night.
Samantha Fox and Mick Fleetwood's epic fail (1989)
Hosting the Brits should be a pretty sick job, but it's actually a poisoned chalice. There's always the potential for something to go horribly wrong and somehow this year's choice, Ant and Dec, never seem cool, young and funny enough. But even if the Geordie duo are a bit boring again on Wednesday, they'll shine in comparison to 1989's inexperienced pair of compères, drummer Mick Fleetwood and former Page 3 girl Samantha Fox. They repeatedly fluffed their lines, introduced guests on stage at the wrong time and even forgot to show a pre-recorded message from Michael Jackson. "I wanted the stage just to swallow me up," Fox has since admitted.
Jarvis Cocker invades the stage during Michael Jackson's performance (1996)
Contrary to popular belief, Pulp's singer didn't actually "moon" MJ; he merely pointed his fully-clothed posterior in the King of Pop's direction. "My actions were a form of protest at the way Michael Jackson sees himself as some kind of Christ-like figure with the power of healing," Cocker explained later. At the time, he was hailed as a popular hero and Noel Gallagher even suggested he should receive an MBE, but 20 years on his "protest" looks a bit churlish. Sure, Jacko was singing Earth Song surrounded by a squad of children and a rabbi, but aren't awards show performances supposed to be ridiculously overblown?
John Prescott gets drenched (1998)
Presumably hoping to appear "down with the kids", Britain's then Deputy Prime Minister rocked up to the 1998 Brits with his wife Pauline. He's never said whether he enjoyed live performances from the Spice Girls, All Saints and Shola Ama, presumably because all anyone asked him about afterwards was having a bucket of ice-cold water chucked over his head by Chumbawumba. The "Tubthumping" band never did apologise, saying in a statement: "If John Prescott has the nerve to turn up at events like the Brit Awards in a vain attempt to make Labour seem cool and trendy, then he deserves all we can throw at him." Ouch.
Robbie Williams challenges Liam Gallagher to a fight (2000)
Though it was actually Noel who branded Robbie "that fat dancer from Take That", Robbie's beef with Liam is even meatier. In 2000, as he collected yet another Brit trophy, a confidence-filled Robbie puffed out his chest and issued an ultimatum. "Anybody like to see me fight Liam?" he asked the crowd. "Liam, a hundred grand of your money and a hundred grand of my money. We'll get in a ring and we'll have a fight and you can all watch it on TV, what d'you think about that?" The audience roared at the time, but looking back now it represents the Brits at their boorish worst. Forward the video to 3m20secs for Robbie's proposition.
Brandon Block scraps with Ronnie Wood on stage (2000)
Actually, this booze-fuelled incident could represent the Brits at their boorish worst. Block, a briefly popular club DJ, was apparently so drunk that his friends managed to convince him he'd won something, so he stumbled on stage while Wood was trying to hand out the Best Soundtrack Album prize. Though host Davina McCall tried to dismiss him with a brutally casual "bye, mate", Block had no intention of vacating the spotlight and Wood ended up throwing a drink in his face. Block was then ejected from the event and later apologised to Wood. He was last seen on an episode of Come Dine with Me in 2012.
Joss Stone isn't quite how we remember her (2007)
When she broke through in 2003, Joss Stone was portrayed a little patronisingly as "that nice girl from Devon with a big voice". Four years later, she resurfaced at the Brits with a new look and accent: less west country, more west coast. "I just want to say, big, big, big love to Robbie Williams for what he's going through right now," Stone drawled, referring to the singer's rehab stint. She then sang a few bars of Amy Winehouse's "Rehab", allowing us to forget her speaking voice for a second and really take in her new purple hair and psychedelic mini dress. Here's the whole squirm-inducing video if you’re feeling brave.
Peter Kay takes down Liam Gallagher (2010)
In 2010, Oasis's landmark LP (What's the Story) Morning Glory? won a special award for best British album of the past 30 years. Collecting the prize on behalf of his former bandmates, Liam thanked all of them except for brother (and songwriter) Noel, then handed the trophy to a random fan and chucked his microphone into the audience. When host Peter Kay returned to the stage, he said what many viewers at home were already thinking: "What a knobhead."
Adele gives the Brits the finger (2012)
Adele's spine-tingling rendition of "Someone Like You" at the 2011 Brits made her a superstar. A year later, with her 21 album now a global phenomenon, she returned to the event as the UK music industry's leading light. But when Adele took to the stage to collect her second award, she barely had time to splutter out a "thank you" before James Corden cut her short. Adele's reaction was brilliant: she flipped the bird at "the suits" who were worrying about the show's running time, then returned to her table's bottomless supply of champagne and adoration.
Arctic Monkeys drop the mic (2014)
With his band winning British Album of the Year for the third time, Alex Turner took the opportunity to speak out in support of rock 'n' roll. "It seems like it's faded away sometimes, but it will never die. And there's nothing you can do about it," he said at the end of his speech, before adding: "Invoice me for the microphone if you need to." Turner then somewhat ostentatiously dropped the mic to the floor. On the night, Twitter couldn't decide whether he was being subversive and rebellious and just #soedgy, or maybe a bit of a tool.
Madonna gets floored (2015)
The Queen of Pop was supposed to close last year's Brits with a triumphant performance of new single "Living for Love". But when her sumptuous Armani cape failed to untie at the neck, her backing dancers inadvertently yanked her down a flight of stairs so hard that she suffered whiplash. "I actually created a horror show for everyone," an embarrassed Madge recalled afterwards. Still, it's hard not to admire her for having the old-school showbiz pluck to get up and complete the performance. What a trouper.
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