We may still be picking bits of confetti out of our hair, but that hasn't stopped the rest of the world from moving quickly into peak diet and detox season. Of course, you know that any diet that severely restricts your calories isn't a good move for your body (that's called starvation). But the potentially more damaging underlying issue with so-called detoxes — even short-term ones — is the way they mess with the way you think about food.
Like all diets, restrictive detoxes and juice cleanses force you to think of everything you put into your body as "good" or "bad." There are no shades of grey or any value given to, you know, the pure pleasure of nourishing your body by eating a thing you enjoy. Plus, there's no science-backed reason to believe that you're ridding your body of toxins anyway — your liver and kidneys do a great job of that already.
So, rather than taking you through an endless list of things not to eat (and a shorter, barely-pronounceable list of things you're allowed to eat) we decided to go a little deeper and try to "cleanse" our lives of things we actually would be better off without: toxic thoughts and toxic people.
Ahead, we go through techniques for addressing five persistent negative thought patterns and endless black holes of stress and anxiety. These are things that continue to mess with your mental health, making it harder to actually find a form of fitness you really enjoy or a way of eating that fuels your body and your soul.
You don't have to do every technique and you don't have to do them forever. Pick the ones that sound the most relevant to you, tweak them as needed, and give 'em a try. And then get ready to start 2017 with only the best vibes.
You’re cutting out:
Self-esteem vampires.
How you’re cutting it out:
You've heard it a million times before, but now is the time to try actually limiting your social media time. Study after study confirms the link between low self-esteem and the use of Facebook, Instagram, and pretty much everything else.
Most recently, a report published by the German IZA Institute of Labor Economics found that just one hour of social media per day was associated with lower ratings of happiness in teenagers — and girls saw the largest effect. "It takes seconds to feel bad about yourself while scrolling through Instagram," says Samantha Boardman, MD, a psychiatrist who specialises in positive psychology.
If you're finding that you're feeling worse after checking in on your high school friends, it might be time to cut back. According to a study published in Cyberpsychology, Behaviour, and Social Networking, going cold turkey may have the most benefits.
But if that sounds too extreme, Dr. Boardman suggests trying to put up some boundaries instead, such as not checking social media during the day (and definitely not as soon as you wake up).
Also: don't be precious with that de-friend, hide, or unfollow button. If seeing someone's posts consistently makes you feel bad, make it so you don't see their posts anymore. "Only follow people who elevate you," Dr. Boardman says.
Photographed by Rockie Nolan.
You’re cutting out:
Self-imposed fit limits.
How you’re cutting it out:
Maybe you've wanted to take a weird class or join an intimidating gym, but worry you're not strong/athletic/flexible enough for it. Of course, it's a good idea to check in with your doctor before trying a new rigorous fitness routine if you're concerned. But more often than not, these preconceived notions about how we'll be judged simply serve to hold us back safely in our comfort zone.
And, those kind of concerns may be especially common among those with social anxiety disorder. "People who suffer from social anxiety might be worried [about] appearing awkward or receiving funny looks from others, whether it’s at the gym or even running on the street,” Cheri Levinson, PhD, explained to Daily Burn.
So, aside from therapy, one antidote may be to try something new in small steps. Try a larger group class where you can hide a little bit if you want and don't underestimate the power of a good pair of leggings to make you feel more in the zone. Even if it scares you or you keep yourself to the back row, you'll survive, and that alone will feel great. And, hey, look at that — your comfort zone just got a little bit wider.
If that's still too intimidating, Dr. Boardman suggests enlisting a partner in crime. "Then you can laugh about it later," she says. "You will have survived a shared experienced."
Photographed by Jens Ingvarsson.
You’re cutting out:
Anxiety black holes.
How you’re cutting it out:
Perhaps you're constantly re-reading texts from your ex or maybe it's just the pressure of keeping up that #inboxzero lifestyle. These are the things that keep you tossing and turning. And, when during the day, they're the things that you spend a giant chunk of your day worrying about but that never really seem to change.
"There’s a thing such as productive worry — worrying about things that you’ll be able to plan ahead for," says Dr. Boardman. "But there are some things you can’t."
The key, then, is to distinguish between the two: Is this an actual issue that you can take real, concrete steps to solve right this second? Or are you stressing at two in the morning about the font choices in your Powerpoint presentation a month away?
From there, some basic mindfulness techniques may be helpful. Remind yourself of what's happening in this moment and assess whether or not you need to be spending today's mental energy on this particular problem.
Photographed by Rockie Nolan.
You’re cutting out:
Emotional distractions.
How you’re cutting it out:
Taking care of other people is great. It's also a great distraction from dealing with our own shit, which may feel good in the moment but can catch up to you in the long run. Self-care is an especially important thing in these increasingly turbulent times — and it's tough to look out for others when you're not looking out for number one.
For some chronic over-givers, it may even seem selfish to look inward. But the answer here is to get more comfortable with yourself and what you need. "When we are in touch with our own feelings, we can then reach out more effectively to others and show love and empathy to them also," writes Karyl McBride, PhD, at Psychology Today. "If we are filling our own emotional tanks with self-respect and loving care, we have much more to give to our families, friends, and the world in general."
"If you’re one of those people who's always giving advice, use that to your benefit," Dr. Boardman says. "Ask, What kind of advice would I give myself? " Chances are, you'd tell yourself to carve out some time just for you.
Take yourself to the movies, to a meditation class, out on a bike ride, or out to eat. Being by yourself will help you pay more attention to your own emotional state — and what you can do if it's more negative than you'd like — without the pressure of also solving everyone else's problems.
Photographed by Kate McCurdy.
You’re cutting out:
Guilt-inducing diets.
How you’re cutting it out:
We've said it before and we'll probably say a million more times: Your food should not make you feel guilty, no matter what it is. So, rather than opting for a restrictive diet that will just make you feel like crap when it (surprise!) turns out to be impossible to maintain, take a more mindful approach with your meals.
Part of that means really getting in touch with your body and what you (and it) wants at any particular moment. But another part of that may be getting more involved with your food — a.k.a. cooking. So, Dr. Boardman suggests inviting a few friends over to cook dinner together (especially if they are the kind of friends you don’t mind serving a-little-too-dry-chicken until you find your bearings).
And, she says you'll get bonus points for focusing on healthy ingredients you know you like and can incorporate into your meals more often rather than ruminating on giving anything up.
Plus, a study from Public Health Nutrition found that people who cooked more often at home at healthier meals when they went out, too. That suggests that getting down 'n dirty with your food can help you have a more balanced relationship with it whether or not you're taking the Seamless train tonight.
Photographed by Molly Cranna.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
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