Along with setting ourselves unrealistic #goals and polishing off the last few Christmas chocolates, the start of a new year is also the perfect time to take stock of our love lives.
Toxic boyfriend or girlfriend getting you down? Call it off and work out exactly what you want from a relationship. Single and had enough? Take the plunge and ask someone out, or sign up for a new dating app you may never have considered before.
Love comes in all shapes and sizes these days. From open relationships and age-gap relationships to teenage love that lasts, we've explored the gamut of 21st-century relationships this year.
And we've found love lessons in unlikely places. We've learned what celibacy can teach us about our life problems, how performance artist Marina Abramović deals with heartbreak, how Pop Tarts can ease the pain of a break-up and what working at Ann Summers teaches you about human sexuality. And we've heard about the reality of loneliness over 50 and what it's like dipping your toe into Tinder as a trans woman from our fabulous columnist Juno Roche.
If you're looking to refresh your relationships in 2017, you could do a lot worse than read the following advice.
The Reality Of Loneliness Over 50
Juno Roche
"We need to get better at real life again before we all end up in pods sponsored by all-powerful dating apps. Maybe that's it: Could we all be so scared of rejection that we accept living in the safety of a filtered paradigm? Or maybe, just maybe, there is a world of people connecting on Tinder and it's just me that's terrible at it..."
How 5 People Manage Their Open Relationships
Tom Rasmussen
"If you're bad at monogamy, you're going to be even worse at polyamory. Seriously: if you end up cheating on partners because you can't be honest about what you want or need, this is a terrible idea. The number one most important thing is being able to be honest with the person(s) you love, so think about how emotionally open and vulnerable you're willing to be." Jin, 38, Bristol
A Heart To Heart With Marina Abramović
Amelia Abraham
"I’m an expert in [heartbreak] by now. You ask the right person. The most important thing is don’t try to feel good. Go all the way into the hell. This is the only way to go. Cry your eyes out. Talk about your heartbreak with everybody until you’re sick and tired of talking about it and your friends are sick and tired of listening to it. Only when you can go to the bottom can you go to the top. Suffer. And stay long periods of time under the shower. The water gives you different energy. Listen to Dr. Abramović. Don’t try to feel OK... Every heartbreak, every emotional difficulty, everything in life we have to learn from." Marina Abramović
I'm HIV Positive And My Partner Is Not
Tom Rasmussen
“It’s not easy for anyone to fall in love. But I don’t think an HIV+ person should look for love just in the HIV+ community. Being HIV+ is a struggle that can make you stronger, it obliges you to think about others in a way that many don’t, and it has really helped me to develop a deeper sense of empathy, for example, and many agree it makes you use your time with a voracity that you didn’t imagine before the diagnosis… and not because you’re sentenced to death, but because you have smelled it, even if just for a day." Luca, 33, Rome
How Celibacy Solved My Life Crisis
Jessica Bateman
"Sex is a human urge, yes, but not in the same way as eating or breathing. You won’t die if you don’t have sex. You will miss the physical side of it, though (and if you’re like me, probably start having weird sex dreams after the first month or so). Just buy yourself some new toys and focus on getting really good at wanking. As a bonus, it should make your sex life even better when you finally return to it."
I'm 23 And Have Been With My Boyfriend Since I Was 14
Marianne Eloise
"I am happy that I found someone I liked when I was 14. We have a lot of fun. Most importantly, we like each other as people, not just for what we give each other romantically. We are ridiculously lucky and it hasn’t always been easy – we still fight, we still disagree, we still sometimes think that maybe it isn’t 100% the best thing. I am still a bit of a cynic and take it day by day. I fully accept that, yeah, we might not be together when we are 35, but we can keep on growing and trying to make it work. Life is hard. Keep hold of anything that makes it slightly less shit and lonely."
In Defence Of Having A Much Younger Boyfriend
Valentina Valentini
"No relationship is guaranteed to work forever, no matter the age difference of those involved. I’m not even 100% sure about mine, but for now, my boyfriend and I work, because we’re both intelligent and like-minded in our values and politics, because the chemistry is there in spades, and because the desire to learn more about each other grows every day."
Experimenting With Tinder As A 50-Year-Old Trans Woman
Juno Roche
"Dating is tough as an older woman, no matter how new your pussy is."
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