You know the drill: Boy meets girl (or boy meets boy, girl meets girl, etc.). Boy and girl get chased by the paparazzi a few times and spark romance rumours. Boy and girl become Instagram-official. Boy and girl eventually start a bidding war for their wedding photos, have a couple of ridiculously named munchkins, and live happily ever after in Malibu.
Sometimes, however, there's more to the story. Sometimes there's a secret former spouse to add an extra layer of intrigue.
Don't get us wrong; divorce is far from rare in Hollywood. We all know that before Blake, Ryan had Scarlett. Brad was with Jen, Kim had Damon and then Kris, and Sean had Madonna. Those pairings all seem unlikely now, but they happened.
What you'll discover here are the more obscure couplings in showbiz history. The pre-fame husbands and wives who seemingly vanished without a trace. The spouses who shared their names and never got them back. The OG exes.
Read on for the marriages that seem to have escaped our collective memory. Only the divorce lawyers really know what happened.
George Clooney & Talia Balsam
Despite everyone losing their mind when the longtime bachelor married Amal Alamuddin in 2014, it wasn't his first rodeo. Clooney was married to actress Talia Balsam from 1989 to 1993, splitting up about a year before his big breakout role in ER. Balsam, meanwhile, has been married to actor John Slattery since 1998, and played his character's first wife, Mona Sterling, on Mad Men.
Photo: Jim Smeal/WireImage.
Colin Farrell & Amelia Warner
Mrs. Grey will see you now. Warner, who has been married to Fifty Shades of Grey star Jamie Dornan since 2013, had a wedding ceremony in Tahiti with former flame Farrell in 2001. The English actress later admitted that the ceremony wasn't legal, though she and Farrell were engaged at the time. She and Dornan now have two daughters, while Farrell is father to two sons.
Photo: DJANSEZIAN/AP/REX/Shutterstock.
Will Smith & Sheree Zampino
As difficult as it is to picture Will without Jada, his first marriage was to Sheree Zampino. The two were married from 1992 to 1995, and have a son, 24-year-old Trey Smith, together. Their divorce inspired the blended family sitcom All of Us. To think, Jaden and Willow almost didn't happen.
Photo: BEI/BEI/Shutterstock.
Ojani Noa & Jennifer Lopez
Lopez's love may not cost a thing, but try telling that to her ex-husband. Despite only being married to the former Cuban waiter for less than a year, from February 1997 to January 1998, the singer-actress has had to fend off Noa's tell-all books and videos in court ever since their split.
Photo: BEI/BEI/Shutterstock.
Freddy Moore & Demi Moore
Before Bruce and Ashton, there was...Freddy. Demi Guynes became Demi Moore when she married the musician in 1980; they divorced in 1985. Here she is starring in the music video for The Nu-Kats' "It's Not a Rumour" (a song she reportedly co-wrote), and here's Freddy in a 2013 interview.
Photo: Berliner/BEI/BEI/Shutterstock.
Gus Trikonis & Goldie Hawn
She's been with Kurt Russell for 33 years, but Hawn has only been married twice. Her first marriage, to West Side Story actor Gus Trikonis, lasted from 1969 to 1973. Their divorce was granted in June 1976, allowing her to marry husband No. 2, Bill Hudson, father to Oliver and Kate Hudson.
Photo: Daily Mail/REX/Shutterstock.
Blake Shelton & Kaynette Gern
1. Kaynette might be the best name ever.
2. Blake certainly likes his blondes. The country crooner was married to Gern from 2003 to 2006, at which point he quickly moved on to Miranda Lambert. They split in 2015, and he's been loving on Gwen Stefani ever since.
Photo: Jim Smeal/BEI/BEI/Shutterstock.
Kate Winslet & Jim Threapleton
Threapleton, who met Winslet when he worked as an assistant director on the set of Hideous Kinky, is the first of the star's three husbands. The two were married from 1998 to 2001, and are parents to 16-year-old daughter Mia Honey.
Photo: CHARLES SYKES/REX/Shutterstock.
Tommy Mottola & Mariah Carey
Mottola was head of Sony Music when he married the singer in 1993. The marriage lasted five years, and Carey wed Nick Cannon a decade later. She and Cannon, father to her twins, have since split, and she recently parted ways with fiancé James Packer. Whatever next?
Photo: ERIK C PENDZICH/REX/Shutterstock.
Uma Thurman & Gary Oldma n
Ethan Hawke was actually Thurman's second husband. She and Oldman wed in 1990 and split two years later.
Photo: KEITH BUTLER/REX/Shutterstock.
Tom Cruise & Mimi Rogers
You can thank the first Mrs. Cruise (1987-1990) for Tom's support of Scientology. Though the actress is no longer involved with the Church of Scientology, she was reportedly the one who introduced her then-husband to the religion. Fun fact: Emilio Estevez was best man at their wedding.
Photo: Eugene Adebari/REX/Shutterstock.
Renate Blauel & Elton John
Now openly gay and married to partner David Furnish, the singer gave opposite-sex marriage the old college try when he married German recording engineer Blauel in 1984. The couple split in 1988, at which point John stopped identifying as bisexual and came out as a gay man.
Photo: RICHARD YOUNG/REX/Shutterstock.
Katharine Towne & Charlie Hunnam
The Sons of Anarchy star was married to the actress from 1999 to 2002. The couple reportedly wed four weeks after meeting during auditions for Dawson's Creek. It's the ultimate late-'90s love story.
Photo: M. Caulfield/WireImage.
Julianne Moore & John Gould Rubin
Moore, now married to director Bart Freundlich, has said that she was "too young" when she wed actor and stage director John Gould Rubin in 1986. They split in 1993, finalising their divorce in 1995.
Photo: Ron Galella/WireImage.
Chris Sarandon & Susan Sarandon
No, Sarandon isn't that common of a name. The former Susan Tomalin continued to use the Princess Bride star's name after their 1979 divorce. The actors met while studying theatre at the Catholic University of America, and married in 1967.
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