It might be taking place over 4000 miles away, but the whole of the UK is gripped by the American presidential election. Of course we are. It's a bona-fide spectacle with potentially horrifying consequences.
And the stakes have never been higher: there are sex scandals, the prospect of the first female president, Donald fucking Trump being the leader of the free world. Our own general elections, by comparison, have all the drama of an episode of Heartbeat.
Now, while November 8th's outcome will have an effect on the entire globe, we in the UK can rest assured knowing we're not about to be ruled over by a racist, misogynistic orange with no discernible foreign policy (Brexit was quite enough for one year, thank you).
But what of the British women currently living in America? Is it frustrating not being able to vote when they have such a vested interest in the outcome? Are they getting involved anyway?
We spoke to five British women living in the States to get their thoughts on Clinton vs Trump.
Tabitha Denholm, 41, filmmaker and founder of Women Under The Influence. Los Angeles via London.
Who would you vote for if you could and why?
I would vote for Hillary because the alternative is the stuff of nightmares, but it is heartbreaking that this is the choice! In a less crazy parallel universe Hillary and Bernie would be part of two different parties representing their differing agendas; that would be a good choice!
Do you find it frustrating not being able to vote in the country you live in?
Due to my pathological fear of filling in any type of form I’m a pretty off-grid person and I’m ashamed to say I haven’t voted as much as I should have done. I tried to register for the Brexit vote from abroad too late which is a constant source of shame. Out of that regret I promised myself that I had to get involved in this scary election so I signed up to volunteer for Hills...
Have you become involved in campaigning at all?
They are organising a campaigning trip to Nevada soon and I think it would be a fascinating insight into America. On a personal note, I travel everywhere in LA by Uber Pool so I promised myself that I would try an convince the people I travelled with that it was important they take the time to vote against you know who. It has made for some lively discussions. I have met everyone from pro-Trump young African American dudes (VERY lively discussion) to gun lobbyists who are voting Democrat for the first time in their lives. I thought this is how I could vote without voting.
What are your biggest hopes and fears about November 8th?
The biggest fear is the obvious one, and if that happens, who knows! I guess my BIGGEST fear is that if he got in, he would do some of the crazy shit he talks about and it would escalate a war. That actually kept me up at night for a while. My second biggest fear is that Hillary gets in and because of this giant side show, no one has been able to look at the real problems the country is facing, Bernie’s momentum is lost, and it's all been a great big hullabaloo about keeping things exactly the same.
Saying that, of course I am excited about a women president, someone with a long track record of representing women's rights that goes back to her college days, not to mention the pledge to roll back college tuition fees.
Remi Nicole, 33, singer/songwriter and actress. Los Angeles via London.
Who would you vote for if you could and why?
Gahh it's a tough one because obviously, I don't think a pussy grabbing xenophobic demagogue is an appropriate leader but at the same time I don't think that Hillary is too kosher either and I don't trust how much her head shakes. She reminds me of the Churchill talking dog! If I had to vote though I'd go Hillary.
Do you find it frustrating not being able to vote in the country you live in?
Nope. Particularly in this election. I would feel like I'd be voting for "the best" of a bad bunch and wouldn't wholeheartedly be able to vote for one candidate so I'm glad I can't vote right now.
Does the build up to the election seem different in the U.S. from the UK?
Yes, the build up to the election here is pure theatre! I've never been so interested in politics in my life since living here. It's a constant talking point.
What does the prospect of a female president mean to you?
For me, personally, women have been the strongest influences in my life and so it wouldn't seem out of place for me to have a woman leading a country. Obviously, it would be a pretty amazing and historic event to have a woman follow a black president in America, and as a black woman in America, I'd feel like the playing field would perhaps be more levelled but it shouldn't be amazing or far out, it should be normal and the playing field should already be level! Ultimately though, the right person should get the job: black, white, male, female, or otherwise.
Beatrice Read, 35, archive producer. Los Angeles via London.
Who would you vote for if you could and why?
Hillary Clinton. I'm a big fan of someone with experience. What she has been through as First Lady, Senator, presidential candidate twice over and as Secretary of State is invaluable. Unlike a lot of Americans, I trust her to run this country. The other guy? Not so much. What I find most frustrating about how the U.S. government works is the difficulty in passing a bill. Hillary has a hope of navigating not only complicated policy negotiations, but also the politics of a divided Washington. If any leader can make significant changes to gun laws and continue important health care reform, Hillary can.
Do you find it frustrating not being able to vote in the country you live in?
Yes. But it also removes a layer of responsibility, which perhaps makes the gravity of the situation weigh a little less heavily on me. It's easier to be an observer.
Have you become involved in campaigning at all?
Except for attending one Clinton rally ( pictured) here in LA, not really. A friend of mine is flying to Florida with her 16 month-old to register voters. I was tempted to join her, but I thought people might not take me seriously with my English accent, and besides, work gets in the way.
How is the lead up to the election in the U.S. different from the UK?
It feels like U.S. elections go on forever! First there's the build-up to the primaries, and now the general election – it's almost two years old. Because of that length and its magnitude, there are a lot of dramatic twists and turns so it's exciting, but exhausting!
What does the prospect of a female president mean to you?
I grew up with a female leader – Margaret Thatcher – and I'm pleased to think that my daughter, who's an American citizen, will too. But because of America's international importance, I think it's even more valuable that this is happening in this country right now. I have found America's system for supporting working mothers quite brutal – there's very little in the way of maternity benefits compared to Europe. Clinton wants to change that.
I'm also excited to see a photo of Hillary, Theresa May and Angela Merkel all sitting together at some kind of international event.
What are your biggest hopes and fears about November 8th?
I'm hoping to see a continuation of Obama's legacy. I'd like a fresh fight to reform gun laws and police use of force. The ability to buy and use guns with such ease has been the most shocking thing about living in the U.S. I don't entertain the fears. It's too dark to think about: not only for America, but the rest of the world too.
Anna-Lucy Terry, 29, f reelance digital strategist. Los Angeles via Chislehurst, London.
Who would you vote for if you could and why?
There’s only one choice: Hillary. Although that doesn’t necessarily mean she’s the right candidate. There’s a feeling here that because of Trump-a-geddon, voters are left with little choice than to vote for her. While her political career proves that she can do the job, she’s not always been the most likeable of candidates throughout the campaign. Having said that, she’s a solid choice: trustworthy, moral and steady.
Do you find it frustrating not being able to vote in the country you live in?
As time goes on, it becomes a much larger frustration, especially with the high exposure to political news here. You become so engaged in the propositions that you know will directly affect you, but you’re unable to positively impact on that proposition with a vote. Essentially, it’s taxation without representation.
Have you become involved in campaigning at all?
Personally no, but I’m sure there are plenty of Brits with bumper stickers urging others to do the right thing.
How is the lead up to the election in the U.S. different from the UK?
In the U.S., politics isn’t just suits with no charisma berating each other in the House of Commons – it’s constant, it’s aggressive and, dare I say, often entertaining. The campaigns feel like huge hype machines focussing on personality, family and scandal, not just policies – and EVERYONE talks about it. The UK is catching up with the U.S. in terms of political engagement, but it’s not woven into the fabric of our society as it is here.
Does the prospect of a female president excite you?
Absolutely. A female president will symbolise how far society has progressed (even in the last few decades) but will also help to highlight just how very far we have yet to go. For example, I’d feel more confident that issues such as the closing of the gender pay gap would now be prioritised.
What are your biggest hopes and fears about November 8th?
This year, the run up to the election has been a bit of a shambles with scandal and nonsense overshadowing genuine political questions. The biggest worry is it continues to descend into a Jerry Springer style slanging match. That people vote with their heart and not with their head…
Lauren Blane, 34, fashion director. New York via east London.
Who would you vote for if you could and why?
Hillary! Her experience and consistency in fighting for women, children and healthcare.
Do you find it frustrating not being able to vote in the country you live in?
Yes! Paying into a system you do not have a say in is frustrating – especially at a crucial time.
Have you become involved in campaigning at all?
Not yet!
How is the lead up to the election in the U.S. different from the UK?
I wasn't in the UK during the run up to the EU referendum, however the tone (half truths) being campaigned on during that time, feels similar to the U.S. election. The idea that voting for this very privileged person is an act of rebellion against the Establishment is very confusing and seems to be perpetrated by the media. However, Trump's tactics – defining Hillary by her husband – I do not believe would happen in a UK election. Oh, and the Russia thing. Bonkers.
Does the prospect of a female president excite you?
The prospect of another eight years of democratic leadership with greater representation in the Senate excites me as much as a female president does.
What are your biggest hopes and fears about November 8th?
In a post-Brexit world I am fearful of Trump winning, despite what polls are indicating. I was shocked when I woke up to the news the morning after Brexit, I just didn't believe it was a real possibility.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
The Repulsive Cruelty Of Trump Mocking Dr. Christine Blasey Ford At A Rally
The Latest On The Brett Kavanaugh Saga
I Survived The Las Vegas Shooting. One Year Later, Here's What I've Learned.