The heavens are busy this week, with a double-whammy of retrogrades and a new moon. Well, at least 2016 won’t be off to a boring start? On Tuesday, Mercury plunges into its first of four retrogrades this year. This backspin starts in Aquarius, the sign of teamwork and technology. There could be some unexpected shifts to our office org charts this week — and some unexpected trips to the Genius Bar. Password protect your data and back it up, too. Then, on Friday, Mercury retreats through career-focused Capricorn until the 25th of January. Press pause on the #cantstopswontstop momentum and really assess those resolutions. Mercury retro brings reality checks that can actually be helpful. Review, refine and revise before ploughing ahead on the 25th.
On Thursday, expansive Jupiter joins the retrograde brigade, backstroking through systematic Virgo until the 9th of May. Here comes reality check number two! Are we working at maximum efficiency? Instead of cramming too much in, how about setting up plans that make sense? Virgo is also the sign of healthy living. How about weaving a better work-life balance into our project plans, too? Gym time and salad days aren’t a luxury, Jupiter reminds us, but a necessary means to staying productive. Now... how to create some whitespace in the over-crammed schedule? Saturday’s new moon in goal-oriented Capricorn helps with the streamlining process. And since it’s cruising alongside take-no-prisoners Pluto, we’ll have no trouble dropping those draining tasks and energy vampires like hot potatoes. Bye, Felicia!
Capricorn
Messenger Mercury turns retrograde from Tuesday until the 25th of January and while it will hit your money zone for half of this week (keep your credit card under control), on Friday, the communication planet slips back into Capricorn for the rest of this three-week voyage. Basically, this ensures that half of your words will get lost in translation. Don’t even bother trying to explain yourself or drum up support for the cause. Just develop big ideas behind the scenes and wait until the 25th to schedule any big reveals.
A second retrograde goes down on Thursday, when ambitious Jupiter takes a nap in your jet-setting, enterprising ninth house until May 9th. You’ve got plans...big, big plans. But are you putting the cart before the horse? Hit pause, so you can assess and fine tune. It’s not that you have to halt your global expansion or cancel that big yoga retreat. But DO look before you take another leap. You have a habit of spreading yourself too thin. If you concentrate your efforts, you could really hit the big time this spring.
Fortunately, there is some cause for celebration. On Saturday, the annual new moon in Capricorn brings some rocket-fuel for your reserve tanks. Be “selfish” this weekend and think about what you want to accomplish and experience by the corresponding full moon on July 19. Provider that you are, everyone around you is bound to benefit from your happiness.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Aquarius
Warning: Anything that you say, text, or tweet can — and probably will — be held against you this week. On Tuesday, communicator Mercury freefalls into retrograde until the 25th of January. But here’s the real rub: Until this Friday, that backspin takes place in your sign, putting you in the crosshairs. This is not the week to hone your comedic chops by trying out a controversial new routine on Snapchat or even to broach tense topics when there’s smoke coming out of your ears. It gets easier on Friday, when Mercury slips back into Capricorn and your 12th house of healing and forgiveness until the 25th. Think about making amends — or just losing those toxic frenemies for good. Dive into a decluttering mission, too.
Sort through those stacks of old papers, haul clothes to Buffalo Exchange, and do your own version of an Instagram Rapture. When it comes to friends and followers, you need quality over quantity. Saturday’s new moon in Capricorn will bring motivation for those clear the air and clean your house missions. This new moon brings surges of creative inspiration that should not be ignored! You could also start a crazy-dedicated meditation or yoga schedule.
On Thursday, Jupiter turns retrograde, too, backing up in your eighth house of seduction, shared resources and intense transformations until May 9. Dicey? Sure, but jealousy can be a great guide if used properly. Rather than reacting to those feelings of envy, let them guide and inform you. You want something badly, so what will it take to manifest your own version of it? (As opposed to begrudging someone else.) Working behind the scenes between now and May 9th will make you stronger, sexier and smarter than the “competition” when you emerge from your studio in spring.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Pisces
Friends, foes, or frenemies? It ain’t easy to tell this week, as social Mercury slips into retrograde mode from Tuesday till January 25th. Through Friday, the backspin goes down in your 12th house of hidden enemies. Beware the snake in sister’s clothing or the oddly persistent salesperson. If they’re pressuring you in any way, you can be sure they have a hidden agenda — one that puts their best interests above your own. Resist! It eases up on Friday a bit, as Mercury freefalls back into Capricorn and your 11th house of teamwork and technology.
Although this can screw with that iPad Air Santa brought you (curses!) and make you rethink your participation in a group, it can also bring happy reunions with your squad from back in the day. Get the band back together or rent a country house or ski chalet for an upcoming weekend to toast old times. Saturday’s new moon in Capricorn will inspire you to expand your social horizons with some fresh faces, too. If you’ve been a happy attendee of a group — and a regular one, at that — fill out the paperwork to make your participation formal. Membership has its privileges.
The love rollercoaster could get a little bit bumpy this week, as magnifying Jupiter turns retrograde in your partnership house from Thursday until May 9th. A relationship may be moving a little too fast — or too leisurely — for your liking. Jupiter’s backspin gives you a chance to adjust and honestly assess your needs. This applies to all sorts of partnerships. You’ve never been one to follow the rulebook, Pisces, but getting your collaborators on board with your vision will take compromise (even a little more than you’d prefer) for the next four months. If they’re worth keeping around, find better ways to cooperate and compromise. Creative thinking — and possibly some extra travel — is required.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Aries
Change your passwords and increase your cloud storage capacity. Pesky Mercury is turning retrograde from Tuesday until January 25 — and until this Friday especially, it will affect your techie toys and digital data more than usual. But after that, your career is in Mercury’s crosshairs. Before you go into a meeting or hit the send button on a “finished” assignment, make sure you’ve done thorough research and review. This is NOT the time to wing it.
Also, pay attention to the existing pyramid of power before you go in for the kill. Charming the second-in-command could be a more strategic move than alienating the VP (who actually has more say over your success) as you try to woo the big boss. Mercury’s backspin could reunite you with an important guy from your past — a pleasant surprise! Your relationships could be both stimulating and strained for the coming three weeks — even more so since Saturday brings a new moon in Capricorn. Talk to new people and don’t sweep conflicts under the rug with the people you already know. Working through issues will bring you closer as long as you pick the right time (Read: NOT when they're at work or watching the football) to discuss.
On Thursday, lucky Jupiter joins the retrograde brigade in your sixth house of work and healthy living until the 9th of May. Storage almost full. Need more memory. You could hit max capacity, like an iPhone with too many apps open at once. Time to scale back and simplify, so that your energy isn’t scattered in so many different directions. While you hate to say no to people, you need to say yes to your own sanity. Bow out of situations that are draining you without bringing enough of an ROI. Also, make sure your schedule includes times for relaxing, preparing healthy meals, and working out. Getting back on the wellness wagon should be a high priority item!
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Taurus
This Tuesday, messenger Mercury dips into retrograde mode for three weeks, increasing your propensity for blurting things you probably shouldn’t. But until Friday, Mercury will cruise your career section, warning against any hasty moves on the job. Wait — even though you really wanted to schedule that pitch meeting or crowdfunding campaign in, like, 2015. Haste makes waste, so give projects another coat of polish before taking them public.
From Friday until the 25th, Mercury slips back through Capricorn and your truth-telling ninth house. Get your facts straight before you make any assertions. On a positive note, this is a great time to study, re-connect to summer festival mates and long-distance contacts, or even re-visit a location that you love. Saturday’s new moon in Capricorn awakens your wanderlust, too, so start planning your next big trip. If waiting is an option, start a Pinterest board now, then book tickets when Mercury turns direct on the 25th. Otherwise, read those TripAdvisor reviews carefully!
There’s one more retrograde to contend with: On Thursday, show pony Jupiter turns retrograde in your fifth house of fame and self-expression until May 9. And...cut! This is yet another prompt to disappear behind the scenes and hone your talents in private. That way, you can make a truly amazing debut come spring. Cupid’s arrows could misfire while Jupiter’s in reverse — or bring back an ex you thought you’d never see again. Pace yourself over the coming four months — and if you’re in a relationship, plan to put in an actual effort to keep the sparks alive rather than expecting romance to just happen.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Gemini
Fasten your seatbelt — or maybe your garter belt. Your ruling planet, expressive Mercury, hits the retrograde button from Tuesday until January 25th, scrambling signals. Watch where you swing that truth hammer — and whose name your type into your search. A burning obsession for an old flame could consume you — especially after Friday when Mercury slinks back into your eighth house of sex. Did bad timing cause the breakup? Okay, send a text. But if this will incite anger, jealousy, pain and drama, you’re better off blocking that repeat offender.
Coupled Geminis may feel the need for some added reassurance and security now. Have The Talk, but don’t let jealousy or insecurity overtake you. You could wind up feeling like Piper Chapman at the month’s end if you imprison yourself with too rigid of an exclusivity clause. And hey, you don’t have do the romantic recycling thing. On Saturday, the new moon in Capricorn points you towards scintillating new options. You could meet someone with soulmate — or soul-friend — potential this weekend. Stay open.
Backing up to Thursday, there’s one more retrograde in the week’s forecast. Until May 9th, expansive Jupiter retreats through your domestic sphere, stirring up discontent at home. Do you love where you live, Gemini? You need a sanctuary — not to mention a neighbourhood with enough art and culture to stimulate your active mind. Jupiter’s backspin gives you a chance to assess. But whether you’re shopping for a new address or pricing out plush wool rugs, take your time. You might actually decide to return to an old postcode by spring. Intensity from a female friend or relative could exhaust you now. Put up better boundaries — you can’t take on her issues as your own!
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Cancer
You are never, ever, ever getting back to together...uh, right, Cancer? This week could bring some unexpected developments on the love front. Consider yourself notified: Mercury will turn retrograde in your relationship zones from Tuesday until January 25th, making it a little too easy to pardon the players from your past. Before amnesia (or a dreaded weekend drunk dial) takes hold, purge your phone log of all traces of THAT number. You could do without the temptation or the trouble. BUT...do you have a “one that got away?” This Mercury phase could bring a long-overdue reunion with that person you regret dumping — or cutting off before things ever turned romantic. Test the waters with a text this week. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. You might even wait until Saturday to do so: A helpful new moon in Capricorn and your relationship house can increase your chances of getting a positive response. And hey, you could meet someone new this weekend, too. Don’t limit yourself. If you’re coupled, January will come with its fair share of lover’s quarrels. Taking time outs is advised, so don’t say (or do) anything you regret.
Thursday brings another planetary PSA to use your words — but use them wisely. Shoot-from-the-hip Jupiter turns retrograde in your communication house through May 9th, giving your words extra weight. During this time, you want to make sure that your message is strong and clear — and that might just mean refining, researching, and hiring editors, branding specialists, and consultants. If you have a writing project in the works, this would be a stellar time to develop it behind the scenes. Reconnect to friends from the past, too — especially ones you travelled with or who have moved to other cities. With jet-setting Jupiter in the mix, a couch-surfing reunion tour might just have to happen for you.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Leo
Help...air! Mercury dives into a claustrophobic retrograde from Tuesday until January 25th, and suddenly, you need space from everyone and everything. Until Friday, the messenger planet backtracks through your relationship house, basically ensuring that your favourite people will work your nerves. Don’t burn bridges by having discussions when you’re angry or annoyed. You are likely to say (mean) things you regret. On Friday, Mercury floats back into Capricorn and your systematic sixth house. A deep-dive decluttering mission would be the perfect place to channel your early 2016 angst. But make a “maybe” pile before listing everything on eBay. Selling your great grandmother’s wedding china can bring future regrets — even if you never think you’ll use it. This planetary energy could spur you into healthy living mode, too, especially with Saturday’s vitality-boosting new moon. Nab a Class Pass, so you can try out the studios in your area without having to commit to a one-year membership right away.
Also, Leo: tighten up those purse strings. From Thursday until May 9, impulsive Jupiter turns retrograde in your finance house, forcing you to operate from a (cough) budget. While there may be less impulse grabs at the cash wrap (Do you really need another pair of earrings?), you could seriously raise your financial IQ. Find a money coach or sign up for a seminar to learn the finer points of reconciling your funds and then investing them wisely. To improve your professional standing, be willing to pay your dues for the next four months. Learning new skills and locking in great connections will bring a salary boost in the spring.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Virgo
Dot every i and cross all your t’s. The devil is in the details starting Tuesday, when your cosmic ruler Mercury turns retrograde for three weeks. Getting back to the gym — not to mention into work mode — will be tough. Don’t try to dive in full-speed and risk injuries or a stress meltdown. On Friday, Mercury falls back into Capricorn and your fifth house of romance until the 25th. The road to happily-ever-after could take a few twists and turns during this time. You could discover some disconcerting data about the object of your affections — and even get a cryptic message from an ex. Hey, everyone has a past. The question is: How are they dealing with those issues? People can change, as long as they are willing to put in the work. Go easy on the makeover magic with Mercury in reverse, sticking to minor and temporary updates. But wait until February to chop a short bob or get a new tattoo. Saturday’s new moon in Capricorn opens up a fresh six-month chapter in love, whether you’re single or spoken for.
On Thursday, Jupiter joins the retrograde brigade, calling you off the stage and into your dressing room until May 9. From August 11 until this September 9, the planet of luck and expansion is touring Virgo, something that only happens every 12.5 years. But with bon vivant Jupiter retrograde for four months, you need to tap the brakes. Take a time out and go develop your craft behind the scenes. You’ll still feel the bounty of Jupiter’s generosity. But retrace your steps before taking on anything new. In your zeal for progress and independence, did you throw the baby out with the bathwater? Or maybe push a good one away? Fine tune over the next four months and re-integrate the parts of your past still worth keeping around. You’ll have the perfect blend of retro and futuristic when the force returns on May 9th!
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Libra
Keep the swagger in check, Libra — yes, even if you’ve earned it. Messenger Mercury’s hitting the retrograde button from Tuesday until January 25 and your pride could be mistaken for ego. Also, expect family feuds after Friday, when Mercury dips back into Capricorn and your domestic sphere. Butting heads with relatives and roommates could even prompt you to go hunting for your own one-bedroom. If you can wait until after the 25th to sign a lease, do. Otherwise, inspect, inspect, inspect. Open up cabinets and look for evidence of creepy-crawly things (gag). And visit the are day and night to make sure it’s well-lit and has enough going on to sate your inner culture vulture. On a positive note, Mercury’s backspin could reunite you to a childhood friend or bring happy bonding times with your mum, sister, or another female relative. Bring on the GNOs and girl gang getaways — especially near Saturday’s cozy new moon.
There’s another planetary push to relax, relate and retreat. On Thursday, jet-setting Jupiter turns retrograde in your 12th house of healing and creativity, amplifying your escape fantasies. Getting away from it all could look like a beachy yoga retreat or a daily meditation practice...or both. Jupiter’s backspin could send you on a vitality voyage, whether you’re working with a great doctor, therapist, or spiritual healer. Detoxify your life — from your daily menu to the friends you keep in your inner circle — as you’ll be extra sensitive to energy between now and May 9th.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Scorpio
Reunited, and it feels so good! Socialite Mercury turns retrograde from Tuesday until January 25th, bringing a few blasts from the past. If you get the urge to google what’s-her-name, follow your intuition. There could be surprising synergies still bubbling or a great opportunity to collaborate on a project. And with Saturday’s new moon in your house of kindred spirits, some potential new BFFs could also appear. All this fresh social energy is a positive, since there’s a good chance you’re craving breathing room from your December squad. Things have gotten tense lately... or just a little too close for comfort. Warning: Mercury’s backspin could sharpen that Scorpio stinger, so easy with the snarky comments. Even your helpful hints could get lost in translation. Think very carefully before you tweet, text, or Snapchat any controversial statements. Your misguided missives could go viral with Mercury in reverse — oh, the epic embarrassment!
Speaking of your friend lists, a second retrograde is also urging you to revise and refine. From Thursday until May 9th, expansive Jupiter hits the snooze button in your 11th house of social networking. Hang that red velvet rope around any groups you are a part of. If you’re going to let new members in, make them prove their loyalty and willingness to work as hard as everyone else. Since the 11th house is the technology sector, enterprising Jupiter’s backspin offers a solid window for learning a new piece of software or developing a mobile product, website, or invention behind the scenes (crowdfunded, even). Waiting until the spring to debut it might be your best bet — and certainly until Mercury turns direct on January 25th.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.
Sagittarius
Lock up the plastic and cinch that belt a little tighter. Impulsive Mercury nosedives into retrograde this Tuesday, scrambling signals in your second house of finances. Even if you are flush with cash, Mercury’s backspin advises you to tuck it away for a rainy AND a sunny day...in the future. Why not kick off 2016 with a mission to educate yourself on the finer points of money management? Saturday’s new moon brings some motivating beams for this mission and even word of a new job or client. It doesn’t have to be feast or famine all the time for you. You just need to learn the rules of the saving and investing game. As you map out your future, look to your past. An old client or colleague could hold the keys to a profitable opportunity. Maybe it’s time to revive a business project that got shelved. Divine timing could finally be on your side.
Another warning from the stars: Look before you leap! This Thursday, horizon-expanding Jupiter — your cosmic guardian — turns retrograde in your 10th house of career until May 9th. By no means will this bring your plans for worldly success to a screeching halt. But you might have to go back to the drawing board with a couple ideas or create a more reasonable timeline for reaching the finish line. You’re the ultimate indie spirit, Sagittarius, but you’ll get farther faster with a little help from your ambitious friends. Network like mad with prestigious people during this four-month spell — yes, even if you have to pick up their dry cleaning and book their flights to get your foot in the door.
Illustrated by Lynnie Zulu.Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?