Headphones are a barrier between us and the glumness of the outside world. When we wear them, we're listening to music or a podcast and therefore don't want to interact with anyone. We might as well have "leave me alone" taped to our foreheads.
So it's no surprise that a dating blog telling men how to chat up women wearing headphones has drawn scorn from women the world over.
The post, by "dating and relationship expert" Dan Bacon on his website The Modern Man, includes tips for clueless men/wannabe pickup artists to persuade women to take off their headphones and interact with them.
Today I learned Dan Bacon's ignorance/arrogance is both baffling and horrifying.
— Ian Morley (@techagent) August 30, 2016
NEVER DO THIS! pic.twitter.com/EieTzycCzL
It includes such gems as: "Get her attention with a wave of your hand", and "Point to her headphones and confidently ask, 'Can you take off your headphones for a minute?'".
Bacon does admit that, "not all women are open to being approached because not all women are single and looking."
But if a woman is single and looking, he believes she's fair game: "She will almost always be happy to take off her headphones to give you an opportunity to create a spark with her."
However, Bacon's logic has widely missed the mark and women have shared their own advice to men in response: Buzz off.
How to Approach a Girl Wearing Headphones
— Iron Spike (@Iron_Spike) August 30, 2016
- Don't
- Leave her alone
- Ur not entitled to her attention no matter how attractive u find her
How to Approach a Girl Wearing Headphones
— Juliaplo (@FickleFngrnails) August 30, 2016
step 1: spend years fighting to change the culture to make interaction w/ strangers safe for women
I'm just a girl wearing headphones standing in front of a boy asking him to fucking move out of my way because I don't want to talk to him.
— Amy Elizabeth Hill (@amyandelizabeth) August 30, 2016
How To Talk To A Woman Wearing Headphones
— Clare Coffey (@ClareCoffey) August 29, 2016
1. Create a podcast
Any women who's had her personal space invaded by someone unnecessarily seeking her attention will know how frustrating it can be.
Add to that the potential threat posed by strange men, whose unwanted sexual advances we have to bat off on a daily basis, and it can even be scary.
Unfortunately, though, it's a common problem and many men think they're entitled to our time and attention which, when you think about it, is pretty rude.
One 28-year-old woman, who wanted to remain anonymous, says it happens to her regularly on her commute to work. She told Refinery29: "A man will gesture for me to take my headphones off, and I'm usually suspicious of the reason, but I don't want to be cynical or vain, so I presume he needs my help.
"But it's never been because he needs help, and I find it really rude and irritating. It irks me further when they pretend we're just chatting and say things like, 'Excuse me, where are you from?', 'Where are you going?' I don't like being rude to strangers, but I don't know what else to do, so it puts me in a bad mood."
A 25-year-old woman also recalled how a man passed her on the street while she was power walking while wearing headphones. "He then turned around, ran back to me, tapped me on the shoulder and held something out. I assumed I'd dropped something so took my headphones out.
"He then tried to hit on me. I was 24 and he was in his 40s. Grim."
So, men: Don't be that guy. And don't take advice from a website that claims it can teach you how to "make her want to have sex with you ASAP", with a "very easy" technique. Because this man clearly doesn't understand women.
Like what you see? How about some more R29 goodness, right here?
It's 2018, So Why Are We Still Lying About Meeting Online?