According to The Telegraph, a quarter of British people, even those with partners, use dating apps. It's not news that most of us use our phones in the quest for love, whether it's overtly with Tinder, or more discreetly with Facebook messenger, Instagram DM or the good old-fashioned SMS; we're all engaging in one way or another.
Whether you're happily coupled up, blissfully single or on the hunt, you might be overlooking a wellspring of romantic advice and experiences from real people going through the same things across the globe. From Dan Savage's Savage Love, to This American Life, there's an endless menu of sex and relationship podcasts for every amorous query, hurdle and scenario you can imagine. No, seriously. From not feeling satisfied in the bedroom, to suffering from a bad case of 'ghosting', there's an episode on a podcast out there for you.
In no particular order, here are some of the Refinery29 team's favourite love-themed programmes to get plugged into.
You might associate Ted Talks with cerebral musings on the human condition or the financial markets, but you'd be missing a trick. In amongst the trove there are some social, scientific, emotional and anthropological looks at how and why as humans we yearn to love and be loved. One of those is Helen Fisher's : ' The brain in love ' talk, where she discusses the brain's chemical reaction to romance. In short, dopamine, dopamine, dopamine!
Cheryl Strayed ( Wild) and Steve Almond, are two very articulate writers calmly and precisely dissecting matters of the heart on air. They had both contributed to 'Dear Sugar ', an advice column that appeared on a literary site, The Rumpus, in 2010. Now they offer “radical empathy” to readers who write in about their often traumatic relationship woes which are consistently met with Strayed and Almond's bottomless compassion and heart-felt advice. Ideal for anyone suffering from heartbreak.
Dutch-native Lea Thau has a voice so odd it's confounding – and hypnotic. Thau mulls over more existential ideas surrounding the impacts we have on one another when we meet and interact with strangers. 'The Summer Of Love' series is well worth the storage usage. Have tissues on stand for this one.
Dan Savage is love's most straight-talking, cut-the-bullshit fairy godfather. He's on a mission to de-stigmatise sex for good; whether you're into kinky stuff, looking for a tactful way to ask your partner for an open relationship, or a priest coming to terms with your porn habit, Dan's the shoulder you require. As funny as it is honest, you'll find yourself paraphrasing this cult Love-Doctor by the minute. Just google "monogamish"...
It doesn't get more straight up than the 'Guys We Fucked' podcast, which pitches itself as the anti-slut shaming programme. Co-hosted by two New York based comedians, Corinne Fisher and Krystyna Hutchinson, this is a spit-out-your-coffee listen. It began with the duo getting in contact with, well, "guys they've fucked" but they also pose frank questions, like whether losing your libido in a long-term relationship is par for the course, and if we should actually all kill men.
This cult podcast, hosted by the nerdy and extremely loveable sounding Ira Glass is an anthropological glance at stories that are on the one hand small and mundane, and on the other captivatingly weird. For example a tale of a prom dance interrupted by a hurricane, and a girl discovering her boyfriend has been stealing her wages. It taps into relatable emotions at the core of the human condition.
Ok, the BBC sound wave stalwart might not be an obvious choice for romantic insights, but, it really is. We are largely recalling the epic 'Woman's Hour' that featured light of our lives, actress and general wit, woman almighty and sage, Kim Cattrall. Why? Because she well and truly blew smoke in the face of any questions that hinted at any remote unhappiness she might secretly harbour for being single in her late fifties. And her honesty is thrilling – she says things like "I do botox" and "’I’ve gotten to where I am because I’m fuckable… I’m frightened I will not be accepted or liked by others as a strong woman… I’m not talented enough, I just got lucky.”
'Modern Love' came, like 'Dear Sugar', from a regular column – this time from New York Times journalists and hosts Meghna Chakrabarti and Daniel Jones. Famous voices like Colin Farrell read out stories, some real, some fictional, about, yes, love. Expect high octane hopefulness and overblown romance the good old fashioned way.
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