When you were growing up, did you want to be a witch with a wardrobe full of velvet shirts, who had two totally cool aunts and a talking cat? You weren't alone. Sabrina the Teenage Witch made those awkward teen years look like so much fun. Imagine if you could turn the resident mean girl into a frog or lure a pop star on a date with the click of a finger. Imagine! The Worst Witch never had this much fun.
Sadly, no matter how often I dressed up as a witch (every Halloween at the very least), I remained a mere mortal. Still, at least I could take away some valuable life lessons from Sabrina and her colourful clan.
Cats DO understand you
Salem proved that there is absolutely nothing wrong with talking to your cat because they listen, and often answer with sarcastic commentary. Right? Well it made us feel less weird about talking to our cats anyway.
Opposing styles of parenting can be a good thing
Hilda was the cooler aunt while Zelda was the strict parent we kinda all need at one point. But they worked well together. While Hilda was ready to address problems by turning people into a variety of wildlife, Zelda was the level-headed one who convinced Sabrina it wasn't a good idea to go and live on the Pleasure Dome in the Other Realm. Even though you got to make, er, really cool music videos there.
The resident hot guy can be a sweetheart
Oh Harvey. Sweet, simple, dreamy Harvey. He who fancied Sabrina from the very start of the show, though he was too timid to admit it. Harvey proved to hormonal girls worldwide that the hot guy can also be a RNG (real nice guy.) If a little, well, away with the fairies. And probably a little too into foosball for your liking.
When your best friend moves away, she’s still your best friend
Remember when Valerie left Sabrina to move to Alaska with her family? I was all the feels. Although she left the TV show indefinitely, it was still a lesson to all of us that although our best friends may move far away (mine certainly did) the relationship can survive. Then again, Jenny disappeared after season one without any explanation so maybe it's just down to the producers...
The first outfit you try on is never the right one. And that's OK.
Well we might not be able to do it at the click of a finger like Sabrina, but the opening credits did teach us that it’s totally OK to change your outfit a zillion times before getting the right ensemble and heading out of the house. If you spend six hours getting ready, it's fine. Sabrina just gets the changing done a bit quicker.
The guy you're uninterested in might end up becoming your boyfriend
Mr. Kraft and his endless efforts to woo Hilda only prove to us that the guy you least expect might actually become your other half. Though at first Hilda was repulsed by Willard’s stale attempts at becoming her partner, she eventually succumbed to his will and they had the kind of relationship she’d never expected. We're not saying you should track down your boring old teacher but, you know, be sure to keep an open mind.
Cats look great in human clothes
If you have a pet, you’re probably lying if you say you haven't played dress up with them at least once. Whether it be the hat you stole off your bear, or a borrowed necklace, the point is it happened. And why not? Salem and his almost girlfriend looked great in bow ties and diamonds. Besides dressing up your pet will get you a lot of likes on Instagram.
You’re not the only one with an annoying cousin
While cousin Zsa Zsa’s colourful outfits and splendid hair were great, we can’t deny that she was pretty annoying with her practical jokes. We’ve all been there. Privy to the "stop-hitting-yourself" joke, I understood first hand because of STTW that I wasn’t the only one suffering at the hands of a prankster cousin. Lucky for myself (as well as Zelda and Hilda), they only visit so often.
Follow your dreams
Hilda opening up a ridiculous clock shop and then later a coffee shop was both a lesson learned, and also proof that you can achieve anything you set your sights on. OK so ‘Hickery Dickery Clock’ was a failure, but it didn’t deter Hilda from selling up, moving on and eventually opening up her very own coffee house. Which is quite a suburban goal for a 400-year-old witch.
Yes to velvet shirts, turtlenecks AND checked trousers
I don't know why these styles died in the '90s but velvet shirts, turtlenecks and checked trousers deserve more respect. Through her many teachings, Sabrina let me know that it's perfectly okay to make a bold fashion choice; purple velvet shirts being the boldest of them all.
How to get rid of things you don't need
Clearing out your closet can be a difficult task and you'll require the help of a friend to get rid of the things you really don't need. As a massive hoarder, I still cling to clothes I wore as a teen. When Hilda was given a week to use her mace, cannon and medieval gear or throw it out, we learned a valuable lesson in hoarding. That is: get rid.
Revenge is a dish best served cauldron…
Of course revenge is pretty enticing, but as the wise Aunt Hilda once said, it should be your last resort. Sabrina's aunts were continually teaching her to do the right thing when she was wronged and not just wreak havoc with her magic. Just remember karma will probably get them, so you don’t have to.
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