So you're thinking of moving to New York? Good idea! It's one of the best cities in the world. But before you pack a suitcase and show up at Port Authority, let's do some fact-checking about what life here will really be like.
For the most part, films and TV have done a hell of a job romanticising the Big Apple. And that's just fine, because it is a desirable place to live. But you should know that not every day is plucked from the life of Carrie Bradshaw. You'll have days when you'll discover an insanely scary looking pest, as in How I Met Your Mother. And you'll learn that local wildlife knows no boundaries. We're talking pigeons eating your lunch right out of your hands. Don't worry. It's all part of the fun.
Ahead, what TV and film got right — and incredibly wrong — about making it in New York, from a native New Yorker.
Right: Your apartment will be tiny.
As Seen In: Pieces of April (2003)
And when your family comes to visit, it will be something of a nightmare. A favorite line of NYC apartment brokers is, “But the city is your living room!” It sucks. Just accept it.
Photo: Everett Collection.
Wrong: You can go a whole five years without running into someone you really, really hate.
As Seen In: When Harry Met Sally... (1989)
Despite how sprawling and impressive it can seem, New York tends to feel quite small sometimes. You will see the same people on your subway platform, at your coffee shop, and just walking down the street. So the chances of you NOT running into someone you hate are slim to none. Knowing that, remember that it’s best not to burn bridges during your time here. BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW.
Photo: Everett Collection.
Right: You will overwork yourself and probably hate your first job.
As Seen In: The Devil Wears Prada (2006)
You’re here because you want to hustle and because you have a somewhat blurred boundary between where work ends and your personal life begins. Not all jobs should be this way, but it’s totally normal to feel like you live at your office when you first start working in New York. Just don’t let it get to the point where you lose a perfectly good lover who makes you grilled cheese every night if you want it.
Photo: Everett Collection.
Wrong: You will spend time on your fire escape.
As Seen In: Breakfast at Tiffany’s (1961)
Plenty of people consider Audrey Hepburn’s iconic film as an aspirational vision of what New York living might be like. There are plenty of things to pick at here, but let’s just go with the most basic: Your fire escape will most likely be covered in pigeon droppings. Your upstairs neighbour’s air conditioner will leak on you. Nothing good will happen out on that thing.
Photo: Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock.
Right: You’ll have to kiss a lot of frogs.
As Seen In: Working Girl (1988)
Frogs who are sleeping with other frogs and won’t tell you. Frogs who ghost. Frogs who are secretly Trump supporters. Lots of frogs.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Wrong: You can just sit on stoops.
As Seen In: Hey Arnold (1996-2004)
Technically, Stoop Kid is sitting on his own stoop. That’s fine. But if you think you can grab a coffee, walk around the West Village, and grab a stoop seat on a perfectly tree-lined block, you’ll be sorely disappointed.
Photo: Snap Stills/REX/Shutterstock.
Right: You might have to live in a literal closet or basement for a while.
As Seen In: Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt (2015-present)
Please just make sure it has a window and/or second point of exit in the event of a fire.
Photo: Eric Liebowitz/Netflix.
Wrong: You will accidentally smoke crack.
As Seen In: Girls(2012-present)
This just won’t happen. You either smoke crack or you don’t. The circumstances leading up to and surrounding that event will be crystal clear.
Photo: Geoff Johnson/HBO.
Right: You will have dedicated “brunch friends.”
As Seen In: Frances Ha (2012)
Your calendar will start to fill up with lots of bullshit things like SoulCycle and weird work events. That means you’ll start using Saturday and Sunday brunch to catch up with friends you otherwise can’t squeeze into your chaotic life. Just don’t treat your besties like brunch friends. Make time for the people you really want to see.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Wrong: You will meet a prince.
As Seen In: Coming to America (1988)
Who you will meet: guys who “work in finance.”
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Right: Your Thanksgivings may become more like friendsgivings.
As Seen In: Friends (1994-2004)
Maybe it’s that you can’t quite afford a plane ticket back home. Maybe it’s that you’d rather just stay in the city for the long weekend. Either way, prepare your body for the ultimate day-drinking and food extravaganza that is friendsgiving.
Photo: NBC/Getty Images.
Wrong: Everyone is either in a gang or a journalist.
As Seen In: Daredevil (2015-present)
There is some middle ground.
Photo: Patrick Harbron/Netflix.
Right: You will need a real job to support your cool, creative job.
As Seen In: Obvious Child (2014)
You may get lucky. You may end up with a job that already allows you to be creative. But if you’ve come to NYC to be an artist — in nearly any sense of the word — you’ve gotta supplement that with some steady income.
Photo: Moviestore/REX/Shutterstock.
Wrong: Manhattan is more desirable than Brooklyn.
As Seen In: Gossip Girl(2007-2012)
Perhaps the allure of this show is the incredible voyeurism it offers into how the 1% lives. But the reigning attitude is basically: Ew, how gross is Brooklyn? In real life, Brooklyn is not only a desirable place to live, but where most people actually live.
Photo: ©CW Network/Courtesy Everett Collection.
Right: Strange people will talk to you on the subway.
As Seen In: Mr. Robot (2015-present)
As a result, you will develop mild paranoia.
Photo: David Giesbrecht/USA Network.
Wrong: You will have money to go shopping whenever you want.
As Seen In: Sex and the City (1998-2004)
This show gets a lot of things right, but having disposable income isn’t one of ‘em.
Photo: Everett Collection.
Wrong: You don’t have to lock your door.
As Seen In : Seinfeld (1989-1998)
In general, New Yorkers really look out for each other and you’ll meet a lot of great people. But please, lock your doors.
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