Our heads and hearts are filled with bits of memory and emotion left over from past relationships. And, often, so are our homes. It's hard to let go of the smallest things sometimes – we hoard receipts, laddered tights, even odd lonely socks, so items with sentimental value are much, much harder to discard.
Including letters, presents, photographs and clothing, here is some real-life relationship memorabilia from Refinery29 UK and friends. The person the item came from might not be around anymore but, for reasons explained within, their gifts are impossible to part with.
Photographed by Melissa Arras
I fell head over heels for a boy who lived next door to my friend's house. We spent countless nights staying up late drinking whisky and taking it in turns to play each other songs. When I told him I'd never listened to Bob Dylan's Blood On The Tracks in full, he brought it straight over. But our romance was brief; he told me he was many things: not ready, afraid, not good enough. I didn’t know if any of it was true and questioned our whole (albeit brief) relationship. Some time later he emailed me a lyric from “Tangled Up In Blue”, one of the songs on the album. It simply read: “We always did feel the same. We just saw it from a different point of view.” I found it quite comforting.
August - December 2013
Photographed by Melissa Arras
Sometimes I look over to a bowl of shells on my cabinet and my eye lingers upon them long enough to let the past seep back into my mind. These shells, once alive with euphoria, collect dust now. They sit silently in my bedroom. I pick them up from time to time, feel their smooth surface – let my fingers fall into the cracks and crevices and imagine him handing them to me after one of his morning walks on the beach. I’ll never have the courage to throw them out, even if we parted years ago. They will always be my silent reminder of what could have been.
April 2009 – December 2012
Photographed by Melissa Arras
We met while I was travelling in Africa during my youth, we were both young and still figuring out the world, but when we first crossed paths we both thought that we had figured it out. I will never forget the experiences I had travelling, the places I saw, the people I met, but especially her… We tried keeping our relationship alive over long distance letter correspondence, thinking that we would one day reunite as if there had been no distance between us. I later found out that she had been seeing someone else while still writing to me. This bubble that we had created in our letters to each other suddenly burst. Reading these letters back today makes me remember her, and brings me back to this period of my life, to the careless days of my youth. Where spontaneity is what ruled my days.
July 1976 - Sepetember 1977
Photographed by Melissa Arras
This was kept from a relationship I had when I was 23. My ex-boyfriend was an amazing person, but we weren't suited. I was so into him at the time and I really wanted this to be some romantic keepsake... Now I can see we're better as friends who share the occasional tinny.
July 2011 - February 2012
Photographed by Melissa Arras
I was 19 and he was 29. I thought he was so cool. This t-shirt was the result of our first sleepover. Although I didn't know this at the time, looking back, I'm pretty sure it belonged to his girlfriend.
September - December 2010
Photographed by Melissa Arras
The bizarre presents my ex bought me over the years amused me because they had nothing to do with me. I had totally given up hope, until one day, not on a birthday or at Christmas but just a Tuesday, he came home with a copy of Interview magazine from the 70s, edited by Andy Warhol, with old paparazzi photos of Jack Nicholson and Bianca Jagger with witty, weird captions written by Warhol and incredible, glamorous features about the rich and famous art scene in New York at the time. I loved it. Since we broke up, I’ve taken out my favourite pages, framed them and hung them in my hallway so they're the first thing I see when I get home. Because I love them, but also I guess because it’s reassuring to remind myself that – at least once – he got me.
April 2011 - July 2015
Photographed by Melissa Arras
My first proper boyfriend gave these to me for my 19th birthday and they've hung in my wardrobe ever since. Looking back we didn't really have the strongest feelings for each other but I've never been more excited to be with someone, so I'm glad I have these to remember him by.
January - July 2010
Photographed by Melissa Arras
It was my first relationship with a girl. We spent the summer in sunglasses at festivals dancing and drinking cider. We found the mirror on the floor at Glastonbury and passed it between us for the rest of the festival, though quickly realised that not looking in the mirror is probably the kindest thing you can do for yourself at Glastonbury! When the summer came to a close, it was clear we didn't have the foundations needed for a strong relationship. It was fun while it lasted. And I like looking at the mirror remembering just how fun.
July - October 2014
Photographed by Melissa Arras
We moved to Argentina together last year and stayed for about 9 months. It was the beginning of the end of our relationship. The purple SUBE card on the floor is the Buenos Aires equivalent of an Oyster card, but it works slightly differently. We shared one between us because we went EVERYWHERE together.
From Argentina we backpacked up South America, through central America, up to Mexico and then across to Cuba. The photograph is from a local Cuban photographer and shows a woman walking into a run down building in Havana wearing denim cut offs and a bra; it's so hot in Havana. I see independence in this picture, which is something I both gained and lost on my travels with my ex.
June 2011 - March 2015
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