Face creams, haircuts, shampoo, mascara, waxings — our beauty routines do not come cheap. Though we'd like to think we do pretty well for ourselves when it comes to our regular maintenance, let's just imagine for a moment that money was not a factor. We'd surely upgrade a few things here and there. Okay, we'd upgrade A LOT of things — and book a spa getaway to the Maldives, stat.
It's true that money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a Kylie Jenner wig and a fancy facial — or better yet, your own personal facialist to accompany you on that tropical vacay. Life in the top tax bracket is full of primping, pampering, and procedures. Of course, we don't think all of it is totally necessary, but it's still fun to daydream about a world where money is no object and the La Mer flows like wine.
Ahead, we break down 15 guidelines for living the beauty high life, courtesy of our favourite celebs.
Change Your Hair 50 Times A Year
We feel really (and we mean really) on top of our game if we hit the salon every few months — and usually that's just for a trim or a colour touch-up, not a whole beauty overhaul. But if you're Kylie Jenner, visiting your hairstylist — or, rather, having your hairstylist visit you — seems to happen as often as we go out to brunch.
Harper's Bazaar calculated that Kylie switched her look 51 times over the course of 2015. The mag also brings up the possibility that more transformations have gone undocumented — though we somehow doubt that, considering that fam's selfie obsession.
Photo: Jamie McCarthy/Getty Images
Take Time (A Lot Of Time) For Manicures
But Kylie's hair isn't the only thing she’s constantly switching up. Kris Jenner urged her daughter to always have a fresh manicure — and she takes her advice very seriously.
“My mum always drilled it in my head to have nice, pretty nails...” Kylie Jenner told People. “I get my nails done every week. I’ve sat literally for four to five hours doing them. I used to spend so much time doing the craziest artwork.”
Though, we’re sure she allowed herself a few Snapchat breaks.
Photo: BFA/REX/Shutterstock.
Have A Standing Monthly Appointment With A Facialist...
If you want to live like an angel (looking like one probably has a much heftier price tag) or at least have skin like one, you need to up your facial game. Blonde bombshell Candice Swanepoel told Harper's Bazaar that she religiously gets a facial with extractions once a month.
Photo: Michael Loccisano/Getty Images.
...Or Perhaps, A Weekly One
Once you enter the Gwyneth Paltrow beauty-sphere, facials every seven days are in order. The Daily Mail reported that out of Miss Goop's £14,000 monthly (!) beauty budget, a large portion goes to weekly facials and skin treatments. Her top picks: £1,500 microdermabrasion, electronic muscle stimulation, an oxygen-mist treatment at Tracie Martyn in New York, and an £300 apple stem cell facial at Sonya Dakar in L.A.
But she'll really try anything when it comes to beauty — her words, not ours. "I’m open to anything," she told The New York Times. "I’ve been stung by bees. It’s a thousands-of-years-old treatment called apitherapy. People use it to get rid of inflammation and scarring. It’s actually pretty incredible if you research it. But, man, it’s painful. I haven’t done cryotherapy yet, but I do want to try that."
Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic
Slather La Mer — Everywhere
Chrissy Teigen is undoubtedly one of the most down-to-earth celebs — but that doesn’t stop her from going over-the-top when it comes to her beauty routine. In a recent interview with Allure, the mum-to-be admitted to rubbing La Mer The Concentrate (a serum that costs £335 a pop) all over her pregnant belly to prevent stretch marks — something she and her fam are prone to, but that she says hubs John Legend could "care less about." She also admitted that she is “25 minutes late to everything because my lotion regimen is that long. I put it everywhere.”
Photo: Stefanie Keenan/Getty Images.
Get Twice-Weekly Eyelash Touch-Ups
Whoever laughed at Jessica Simpson back in the day (Chicken of the Sea, anyone?), certainly isn't laughing now. The singer turned entrepreneur has a net worth of £105 million, and she knows how to spend it. She's obsessed with her eyelashes and has extensions, which she refreshes bi-weekly for a whopping £350 a pop, reports TVNZ. That is over £36,000 a year on lashes, people.
Photo: Desiree Navarro/WireImage.
Have A Celebrity Stylist Cut Your Hair
If you like your jets as private as your islands and you rarely sleep in the same country for more than a few weeks at a time, you probably aren't getting your hair done at Supercuts. According to Therichest.com, Angelina Jolie is a fan of hairstylist Rossano Ferretti, who charges a staggering £1,100 to sit in his chair for a trim — the steepest rate in the industry.
Photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images.
Upgrade Your Face Cream
Speaking of Beyoncé, the queen's makeup artist Sir John divulged her product situation to The Cut. Expensive creams are obvious for the uber rich (Kim Kardashian's go-to moisturiser from Guerlain costs ££295 a pop), but Bey's makeup man advocates using eye cream, which is typically more costly and comes in smaller quantities than other skincare products, all over the face. (He says eye cream absorbs better.) And face creams on the body (same deal). Just think how often you'd have to replace your products with this system...
Photo: Al Bello/Getty Images.
A LOT Of Time
Sure, you might find your regular 20-minute manicure tedious and long (you can't even check your phone!). But if you were Kate Middleton, you'd be blessed with the patience of a princess and be able to sit calmly (probably with perfect posture, right?) for an hour-plus without feeling like you missed something on Snapchat — and she's not even getting nail art à la Kylie. When the Duchess gets her nails done, she opts for a 60 minute "signature royal manicure" from her go-to lady, Marina Sandoval — which we're guessing is usually some sort of pinky nude. The Daily Mail reports that the £100 treatment includes a hand soak and massage using natural oils from South America.
In even more 1% nail news, HuffPo reported that Beyoncé paid £600 for the gold nails she sported in the Mrs. Carter World Tour promotional video — and that actually seems like a small sum compared to £175,000 black diamond manicure Kelly Osbourne got for the 2012 Emmys. Yup, £175,000. #yolo.
Photo: Max Mumby/Indigo/Getty Images.
Have A Personal Tanner On Call
It goes without saying that if you were super rich, you'd have a personal trainer. But Rihanna doesn't always like to get her butt kicked in the gym — and that's when her personal tanner comes in. Say what? For those times when RiRi isn't in the mood to work out, it is rumoured that she has a personal tanner who she pays £550 a day to airbrush her bod and contour her thighs and abs to look more defined. Jaw on the floor.
Another fun Rihanna fact: The singer also has hairstylist Ursula Stephens on call at a daily rate of around £2,000, according to the Daily Mail.
Photo: JB Lacroix/WireImage.
Have A Makeup Routine That Takes No Fewer Than 50 Steps
During a master class lead by Kim Kardashian and her makeup guru, Mario Dedivanovic, earlier this year, her glam man demonstrated a makeover on Kim that "requires 40 separate creams, blushes, powders, and gels, applied in over 50 steps, and costs £850 in products, or nearly £1,200 with tools," reports Racked. Wowza.
Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic.
...Or What About Daily?
Madonna (who was rumoured to have spent £50,000 on an at-home cellulite-removal machine) is a long-time devotee of facialist-to-the- stars Robin Peck and her signature oxygen facial. So much so that Madge has brought her along with her on tours so she can receive the treatment every single damn day. (It is also rumoured that she bought one of the oxygen facial machines to have at home for £1,000.)
Photo: Taylor Hill/FilmMagic.
Let Some (Or A Lot Of) Lasers In Your Life
Jennifer Aniston is "obsessed" with laser treatments, reports Therichest.com. Her preferred laser facial peels away the top layer of skin, the goal being a younger-looking visage. It is not the most pleasant situation (there's discomfort and redness), but it's a necessary evil for the 1%. No pain, no gain, right Jen?
Photo: Jon Kopaloff/FilmMagic.
Try Anything — & We Mean ANYTHING
Bee venom, sheep placenta, human placenta, leeches, bird poop — these are just a few of the balls-to-the-wall ingredients the richest of the rich put on their face in the pursuit of youth and beauty. Though she has quite a pared-down makeup regimen compared to some of her counterparts (ahem, Kim K.), Victoria Beckham is not afraid of trying out-there ingredients to get glowing skin. The Mirror reports that the former Spice girl has dabbled in treatments of the nightingale dropping, venom, and afterbirth variety.
Photo: Karwai Tang/WireImage.
Bathe In Bottled Water
If you feel like you need to rinse off after reading that last slide (sorry!), why not head over to the Hotel Victor in Miami to bathe Serena Williams -style in 1,000 litres of twice-purified Evian water sprinkled with Gerbera daisies? The world's most expensive bath is offered exclusively in the penthouse suite (which you can book for a starting price of £3,000 a night) for a going rate of £3,500 a dip. The Daily Mail reports that Beyoncé and Britney Spears have also soaked in this might-as-well-be holy water that is meant to "revitalise the skin and purify the senses."
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